A little midday palate cleaner

30 Jun

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180 Responses to “A little midday palate cleaner”

  1. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 1:11 pm #

    WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ok, now to watch the video and comment…

  2. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 1:19 pm #

    I know what I’m choosing, CB 🙂

  3. lclintsp June 30, 2011 at 1:21 pm #

    Republicans have SO MANY good potential presidents, no wonder the democrazies are going bonkers.

  4. Jay in Ames June 30, 2011 at 1:28 pm #

    Yeah, and John Huntsman leads the pack!

    *runs

  5. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 1:30 pm #

    *sharpens machete*

  6. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

    Alright…. Who tore the time/space continuum? TWO poats in one day is simply beyond the laws of physics and violates the laws of nature.

  7. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 1:41 pm #

    Blame CB, Jazz.

  8. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 1:41 pm #

    WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/454965w

  9. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 1:43 pm #

    I am eating a chicken salad sandwich. I already had three deviled eggs, and I have some potato salad sitting here, too, all to be washed down with a nice Henry Weinhard’s Root Beer.

    Then a brief nap. Then job searching. 🙂

  10. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 1:44 pm #

    Texas will be included in my job search.

  11. Guy S June 30, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    The primary is still some time from now. We have already seen at least a couple of the supposed “front runners” either exit from the race, or “stub their political toes” so badly as to be of no real consequence (Yeah, Huckabee, Gingrich, and Daniels, I am looking at you. And Romney isn’t all that far behind in the “STFU and get off the stage already” race.) once the primary is held.

    Bachman, Cain, Palin, Paul, and Perry, look to be the last folks standing. This assumes some of them officially toss their hats in the ring between now and then (which I expect Perry and Palin will do) and none of them develop a bad case of the stupids between now and then. (Although all are quite capable of doing so.) It is also possible a couple of others will enter the fray. Santorum and Bolton come to mind, but who knows, there may be others lurking in the wings.

    This is not to imply I would indorse all the above, cause I wouldn’t (Bachman has my attention at the moment, and Santorum could be interesting. Frankly, Ron Paul’s [lack of a realistic] foreign policy, and his attitude towards Israel really concern me, so he is off my list, but YMMV.) . Perry strikes me as little more than Romney with balls (I think someone here said that first, but it fits!), and also is not a first choice, but far better than what we have now.

    In any case, get the comfy chairs, popcorn, and adult beverages, cause this race is going to be anything but boring.

  12. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 1:47 pm #

    Texas will be included in my job search.

    YAY!!!!

    But I am cuter than that pig. Not by much, but still….

  13. Guy S June 30, 2011 at 1:49 pm #

    Oh, and Jay, Huntsman can swab my testicles, repeatedly with his tongue, and he still wouldn’t get my vote, even though I am a stickler for keeping the “boys” clean and all.

  14. Guy S June 30, 2011 at 1:51 pm #

    Best of luck on the search Jazz! Hope Texas becomes your new place of residence, and the northeast fades quickly in your rearview mirror (thus lowering the level of intelligence for them, and raising same in Texas!)

  15. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 1:51 pm #

    Who knew July 4 was a Republican holiday rather than a national one?

    Democratic political candidates can skip this weekend’s July 4th parades. A new Harvard University study finds that July 4th parades energize only Republicans, turn kids into Republicans, and help to boost the GOP turnout of adults on Election Day.

    “Fourth of July celebrations in the United States shape the nation’s political landscape by forming beliefs and increasing participation, primarily in favor of the Republican Party,” said the report from Harvard. [See political cartoons about the 2012 GOP field.]

    http://tinyurl.com/6zl9gut

  16. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

    Now I don’t have a hearing this morning.

    Seems that the commissioner didn’t like the idea of hearing matters already before a judge…funny, that.

    Now I have to wear uncomfortable shoes and socks all day long, dammit.

  17. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    Oh, And I liked this video when I saw it at Nice Deb’s yesterday.

  18. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    Oooohh, shiny!!

    You can give money to political candidates. You can call a conservative radio talk show “a slut.” And you can even go as far as suggesting a former First Lady is “pimping” her daughter out and get a slap on the wrist.

    But don’t you dare besmirch the name of President Barack Obama.

    That would be the conclusion one could draw from the indefinite suspension of MSNBC senior political analyst Mark Halperin after he declared Obama was “a dick” during his press conference on Wednesday.

    http://tinyurl.com/44t6xqs

    Ed Morrissey notes:

    [T]he fuss seems a little overblown. “Dick” isn’t a word that needs to be censored; for one thing, it’s a proper name used by a number of politicians, including Dick Durbin, who’s second in Democratic leadership in the Senate. It’s also a playground word for “jerk” or “penis,” but hardly an obscenity.

    http://tinyurl.com/3m22seq

  19. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 1:59 pm #

    Who knew July 4 was a Republican holiday rather than a national one?

    That’s what happens when liberals want to be citizens of the world!!!111ELEVENTY!!!!

  20. Jay in Ames June 30, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    I think Romney will be around to the bitter end, unfortunately. Remember, McCain lost Iowa badly (even Thompson beat him), and got the nomination. We are going to have to elevate a Bachmann, Palin, or even Perry. They don’t have the recognition of the Romneys.

  21. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    But I am cuter than that pig.

    Agreed. 😀

    Not by much, but still….

    Liar. 😛

  22. Dick June 30, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    Afternoon, Miscreants.

  23. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    Oh, And I liked this video when I saw it at Nice Deb’s yesterday.

    Uhhhh…. You got a video for us to watch or sumptin, Slingblade?

  24. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:02 pm #

    Hi, Dick. 🙂 How’s life in the center of the sun?

  25. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 2:03 pm #

    Uhhhh…. You got a video for us to watch or sumptin, Slingblade?

    Da one dat CB posted in da poat.

  26. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

    Afternoon, Miscreants.

    I ain’t no miscreant. I iz a reprobate.

  27. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    Ohhhhhhhhh…… I’m glad you didn’t say, “You shouldn’ta oughta mock me like that, Jazz. You shouldn’t.” And I’m really glad you didn’t pull out a slingblade and hack me to smithereens and roast me and feed me to the swans before bathing in the sweet, sweet age-renewing essence of my blood.

  28. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    BiW, you’ve always struck me as a recidivist.

  29. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 2:09 pm #

    I thought BisW was a lawyer??

    Hey, Dick! How is your dad?

  30. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    On Wednesday the Obama campaign sent around a slightly panicky email about its quarterly fundraising numbers. Today, they have sent out another, slightly panickier, email about their quarterly fundraising numbers. The email is titled “Midnight,” just to make it a little bit scary.

    http://tinyurl.com/3fyho8t

    More at the link.

  31. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 2:13 pm #

    And I’m really glad you didn’t pull out a slingblade and hack me to smithereens and roast me and feed me to the swans before bathing in the sweet, sweet age-renewing essence of my blood.

    Quit wrecking the surprise, dammit!!!

  32. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:13 pm #

    Peter Wehner says:

    During his press conference today, President Obama repeatedly invoked the theme of leadership. “Leaders lead,” he helpfully informed. “Leaders rise to the occasion,” he added. They are willing to make “tough decisions,” to “do the tough things” and to “do the responsible thing.” By the end I was reminded by the line from Emerson: “The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.”

    http://tinyurl.com/6352wnq

  33. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    You’re the guy who skips to the last page when you read the murder mystery, aren’t you?

  34. Car in June 30, 2011 at 2:18 pm #

    ip. “Leaders lead,” he helpfully informed

    He’s a fucking genius, isn’t he.

  35. Dick June 30, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    Dad’s okay, the center of the sun still seemingly resides in D/FW and work be extra slow w/cheese. Which is just dandy in my humble opinion.
    Some guy called me this morning with a four story house and wanted me to do some brickwork on the top of the chimneys.
    I drove over, looked waaaay up (65 feet to be exact), and passed. Not enough money out there.

  36. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    Pop’s sugar back down to “WTF” instead of “OMG”?

  37. Dick June 30, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    The perfect crime for this day and age.

    http://is.gd/LApNiV

    HANG HER!!!!!! AND PLACE HER CHILDREN IN THE CUSTODY OF CARL’S JR.!!!!

  38. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:28 pm #

    You’re the guy who skips to the last page when you read the murder mystery, aren’t you?

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!

    You know what?

    I am. 😀

    I want to know if the story is worth wasting my time.

  39. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    He’s a fucking genius, isn’t he.

    He’s a fucking something, alright.

  40. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:31 pm #

    HANG HER!!!!!! AND PLACE HER CHILDREN IN THE CUSTODY OF CARL’S JR.!!!!

    Now seems the right time to circulate my “Capital Punishment for Jaywalkers” petition…. I think we can get it on the ballot this time.

  41. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 2:34 pm #

    I want to know if the story is worth wasting my time.

    With the exception of America Falling and Vorpal Blade, I am the same way, Jazz.

  42. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:38 pm #

    As far as I can tell, this is the latest on the Prosser-Bradley “choking” incident in Wisconsin:

    http://tinyurl.com/3lq4uyc

  43. Dick June 30, 2011 at 2:40 pm #

    I wanna see this one.
    Should have some really good, gratuitous nudity involved.

  44. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:44 pm #

    I’ve got a bottle of that Minute Maid Pomegranite-Blueberry juice.

    OMFG, is this shit the whip. Yum-fucking-O! 😀

  45. Dick June 30, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

    Hahahahahahaha!

    Stinky Faceplant entry:

    Donny:
    Navigation system study material, shoe polish, boots, blackened fingers, heavy eyes and tunes. Just like college, except college didn’t come with uniform inspections.

    He’s learning.

  46. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

    Heh! That’s awesome, Dick.

  47. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

    I wanna see this one.
    Should have some really good, gratuitous nudity involved.

    Wow. You might want to get your estrogen levels checked, Dick. Looks like you might be redlining it. 😛

  48. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

    I’ve got a bottle of that Minute Maid Pomegranite-Blueberry juice.

    OMFG, is this shit the whip. Yum-fucking-O!

    I make the Old Orchard brand, take a tumbler, fill with ice, 3/4s lemon-lime infused sparkling water, 1/4 juice, and enjoy.

  49. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

    hahahaha! Dick, that’s awesome. Please keep giving him our encouragement! I love your kid, man. He’s awesome.

  50. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 2:52 pm #

    I make the Old Orchard brand, take a tumbler, fill with ice, 3/4s lemon-lime infused sparkling water, 1/4 juice, and enjoy.

    I don’t know if we have Old Orchard here, but it sounds delightful.

    I probably drink a gallon of Arnold Palmers a day, too – home made, not that Arizona Tea bullshit. Fecking love the AP’s. Been drinking them since LONG before I quit consuming alcohol. I have to admit, though, my consumption has increased exponentially since I laid off the booze.

  51. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 3:06 pm #

    I like Simply Orange with Mango. And their Limeade, too.

  52. Jay in Ames June 30, 2011 at 3:10 pm #

    Me too, jazz, me too. Although I am partial to the Crystal Light lemonade, now, don’t like the really sweet real stuff.

  53. Dick June 30, 2011 at 3:12 pm #

    Thanks, Jazz. He’s now friends with Chief on Faceplant. My life is over.

  54. Jay in Ames June 30, 2011 at 3:32 pm #

    How many states are going to try to tax internet sales? California joins the list, and as expected, Amazon and Overstock pull out of the state.

    Daily Caller: California enacts Internet sales tax; Amazon bolts

    10,000 out of 25,000 affiliate programs in California are with Amazon. How much tax are you gonna raise when you lose almost 50% of your sales?

  55. Dick June 30, 2011 at 3:38 pm #

    Jay, I fully expect Texas to follow California’s lead.
    Perry’s a rino, pure and simple. That chickenshit walked away from the TSA act, so I can’t really see him getting a spine anytime soon.

  56. Jay in Ames June 30, 2011 at 3:47 pm #

    Didn’t Texas already reject that law? Thought I read that a while back.

  57. Jay in Ames June 30, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    Never mind, it was a delay:

    http://www.dailyfinance.com/2011/06/23/amazon-offers-texas-a-big-deal-to-delay-internet-sales-tax-law/

  58. Dick June 30, 2011 at 3:56 pm #

    They did, but it’s only a matter of time, and money.

  59. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

    Took Rebecca to see the Opthamologist today – her pediatrician thought it might be a good idea to get an initial screening, as kids with Down syndrome can sometimes have eye issues.

    I don’t know how he figured it out, but the doctor said her vision is good and she doesn’t need glasses (how THAT happened, I haven’t a clue – Mr. TiFW and I are both horribly near-sighted!). So she’ll see him again in a year.

  60. Dick June 30, 2011 at 4:25 pm #

    I started wearing specs in second grade. Total sexiness.

  61. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 4:30 pm #

    Damn those techs…”between 2 and 6″ means 5:55, apparently.

  62. Jay in Ames June 30, 2011 at 4:30 pm #

    Hahahahaha! From Ace’s: The Hill: Sen. Thune says the best way to meet President Obama is to ‘set up a tee time’

  63. Dick June 30, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    I need to take an art class.

    Kinda sorta NSFW

  64. Dick June 30, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

    Aggie, you’ve been without a/c for two days now? WTF?

  65. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

    I know….luckily the upstairs unit works fine, so the kids have at least slept comfortably.

    And no Sith would ever have ink tattoos. They would brand themselves.

  66. Dick June 30, 2011 at 4:41 pm #

    I never have been real keen on tats myself.

  67. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

    I do consider it an art form, but I could never have one. I change my mind so much that by the time the artist was done, it would look like a Rorsharch splotch.

  68. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

    Religion of piece, apparently:

    http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/top_stories/Two-Men-Accused-of-Raping-Woman-in-W-Campus-20110628-ktbcw#axzz1Qdy1o4bF

  69. Dick June 30, 2011 at 5:13 pm #

    Well, I just tried listening to Beck’s last show on Fox, but he’s too goddamned dramatic for me to listen to. Plus, I stopped all Glen Beck listening and watching when he purposely torpedoed Medina in the Texas governor’s race.

    In a nutshell, Fuck Glen Beck.

  70. Dick June 30, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

    Alright!!!!!!

    Big Wet Asses 19 just came out on dvd.

    And hell no. It’s not really safe for work.

  71. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 5:37 pm #

    How do you feel about Glenn Beck?

    Also, I now know the difference between “Indecent Liberties” and “Rape in the Second Degree”.

    Practicin’ Law: Puttin’ you in some f’in knowledge.

  72. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

    I am $55 poorer, and a fuck of a lot cooler.

  73. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 5:43 pm #

    I now know the difference between “Indecent Liberties” and “Rape in the Second Degree”.

    Is that where the term “rape-rape” is used??

  74. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 5:43 pm #

    Man, between Halperin’s comment this morning and Thune’s this afternoon, I’m starting to think that the sharks sense blood in the water.

    This could get very interesting…..

  75. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 5:45 pm #

    $55 is cheap to stay cool in this heat – I’m about to melt up here!

  76. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 5:49 pm #

    Thanks to insurance, I got off cheap, Teresa. If it had been a regular call with no insurance, I would have had to fork over $300 for the work he did.

  77. Dick June 30, 2011 at 6:06 pm #

    What was the problem, Aggie?

  78. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 6:11 pm #

    Capacitor system, Dick.

    No, no flux was involved.

  79. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 6:11 pm #

    Didja ever see that comedy spot with Tom Parks talking about the “price” of repairmen? He got a new house, and as new houses are wont to do, things didn’t go perfectly.

    He wasn’t willing to fork over tons of money for the electrician to come out on the weekend to make the stove work (it wasn’t plugged in), but when poop started backing up into his shower, “MONEY WAS NO OBJECT!!!!”.

    The guy came out on the weekend, fixed the problem, charged him $250, and started to justify the cost of the call. Mr. Parks asked him, “Is there shit in my tub?”

    The guy said “No, sir.”

    Mr Parks said he handed over the $250, said “Here ya go!”, and declared it the best $250 he’d ever spent……

  80. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 6:13 pm #

    Is that where the term “rape-rape” is used??

    The first has “sexual contact” as an element, which would include mouth-to-body parts, and requires proof of intent of sexual gratification by the perp, and the second has “sexual intercourse” as an element, and doesn’t require proof of intent.

  81. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 6:13 pm #

    So you didn’t get to travel forward in time, kick Dick’s butt, and then come back to watch yourself do that?

    Bummer.

    I woulda paid $55 to see that….

  82. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    Capacitor system, Dick.

    No, no flux was involved.

    Doesn’t matter. A new Mr. Fusion will fix that shit right up.

  83. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 6:15 pm #

    Teresa, I would never, EVER, kick Dick’s butt.

    I choose Life 😉

  84. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 6:18 pm #

    …“sexual contact” as an element, which would include mouth-to-body parts, and requires proof of intent of sexual gratification by the perp.

    I think Mr. TiFW has been “Indecently Libertying” me for years now.

    Bastard calls it “Foreplay”…..

  85. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 6:20 pm #

    Teresa, I would never, EVER, kick Dick’s butt.
    I choose Life

    Yes, but with a Flux Capacitor, you could always be one step “behind” him, and he wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it…..

  86. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 6:22 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  87. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 6:31 pm #

    I think Mr. TiFW has been “Indecently Libertying” me for years now.

    Bastard calls it “Foreplay”…..

    You have the ability to hold or withhold consent.

    And if its a problem, you could always sing him the shocker song from the video in the previous thread.

    I guarantee that it will kill any amourous thoughts he might otherwise have.

  88. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 6:41 pm #

    What a whiny bunch of babies:

    http://hotair.com/archives/2011/06/30/jay-carney-damn-right-i-called-msnbc-to-complain-about-halperins-comment/

    So which is it, Jay – is he a dick or is he a pussy?

  89. Dick June 30, 2011 at 6:47 pm #

    I’m a Dick!

  90. Dick June 30, 2011 at 6:49 pm #

    Capacitors are simply batteries and sometimes they burn up. Especially in Texas.

  91. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 6:50 pm #

    I’m a….whoa, that was close…

  92. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 6:51 pm #

    Gawd…for the days of Robert Gibbs.

  93. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 6:52 pm #

    You have the ability to hold or withhold consent.

    After 30+ years, the man knows ALL of my weak spots…. 😉

  94. Dick June 30, 2011 at 6:59 pm #

    I’d ask what you guys are talking about, but I’m not sure I wanna know.

  95. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 7:07 pm #

    Why is President Obama apparently defying federal law by funding ACORN?

    Judicial Watch discovered that the Obama administration is flouting the will of Congress by giving federal taxpayer money to ACORN.

    Obama’s Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) gave a $79,819 grant to the largest branch of the ACORN tree, ACORN Housing Corp. (AHC). AHC filed papers last year legally changing its name to Affordable Housing Centers of America (AHCOA). It’s the same old organization with a brand new ACORN-free name.

    http://tinyurl.com/3ukpnq2

  96. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 7:09 pm #

    Bitch….:

    http://hotair.com/greenroom/archives/2011/06/30/cornyn-shut-out-of-hearings-affecting-his-state/

  97. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 7:18 pm #

    So which is it, Jay – is he a dick or is he a pussy?

    Thread winning comment over there?

    “Dork stands up for dick.”

  98. Dick June 30, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

    Jazz, what are you wearing right now? Lacy?

  99. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 7:45 pm #

    Inquiring minds wanna know 😉

    Teresa, let her be a bitch. We can just raise the price of our electricity.

    California is pretty flush, isn’t it?? 😉

  100. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 7:47 pm #

    C***sucking Asshole:

    http://weaselzippers.us/2011/06/30/holder-says-justice-department-moving-forward-with-criminal-investigation-of-cia-agents/

    (Ya’ll may just see the “F” word being used by me before this administration goes down in flames….)

  101. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 7:52 pm #

    They are investigating the ones that found bin Laden? The same guys that Obama congratulated?? How fucked up is that??

  102. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    That was quick:

    http://weaselzippers.us/2011/06/30/isaf-airstrike-kills-senior-haqqani-network-leader-involved-in-kabul-hotel-siege/

  103. Dick June 30, 2011 at 8:15 pm #

    Teresa, we’re gonna have you calling people motherfuckers just any day now.

    You know ya want to. Come on baby. Come to Daddy. Lmao!

  104. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 8:31 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    She is soooooooooooooooo going to break!!!

  105. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 8:32 pm #

    Jazz, what are you wearing right now? Lacy?

    Hahahahah! A chamois banana hammock.

  106. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 8:38 pm #

    Tell me if you think this means what I think it means:

    I’ve been emailing my boss daily to invoke my paid time off so that I’m not back at work this week. Today, I indicated that as I told him when I sat with him several weeks ago, I’ve daily for a long time labored under the crushing sense of impending termination, and that the events of earlier in the week amplified those concerns exponentially. I told him that I was uncomfortable returning to the office, and that I would be back on Tuesday, July 5.

    I received a reply today where I am expected to be in the office tomorrow at 10:30 AM for a meeting. I just replied that I’d be there. I suspect I’m in for a firing. Anyone? Beuller? Beuller?

  107. clintbird June 30, 2011 at 8:44 pm #

    I’m guessing it’s not about a promotion.

  108. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 8:49 pm #

    LOL – yeah, this is gonna be interesting. I’m in a much better mood about it than I’ve been up until now. I’ve got permission to get fired at home, so that pressure is off. Not having a job would suck, but the heartburn I get thinking about the prospect of going back to that soul-killing, tedious fecal-fest isn’t exactly thrilling me.

  109. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

    Not having to sit on my dignity is liberating. The only reason I’ve really felt like crap is because my actions have had to be moderated out of concern for the folks at home. I can hold my head up now and play big-boy games, rather than fold to the passive-aggressive crap I’ve been dealing with up until now.

  110. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

    Jazz, hope it’s not what you think it is.
    In the meantime:

  111. clintbird June 30, 2011 at 8:53 pm #

    Life’s too short to be miserable … even if it’s a paying job. I agree w/some of the others, find something new or hang up your own shingle.

  112. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 30, 2011 at 8:53 pm #

    And if you get any interviews in the DFW area, you are more than welcome to flop at the Casa de TiFW – it’s not very tidy, but you can’t beat the price!

  113. clintbird June 30, 2011 at 8:55 pm #

    Also, Jazz, think about going in wearing your absolutely most kick ass Hawaiian shirt.

  114. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    Same goes for the San Antonio area, Jazz 😀

  115. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:05 pm #

    Jazz, you’re gonna be shit canned at 10:32 am.

    Now, a few words of advice. When they shitcan you, lean across the desk, (as you can imagine that I would) get get close to the person who pulls the trigger, (two, maybe three inches), smile like you’re gonna cut a bitch’s throat and let them know YOU’VE made tapes of conversations within the company, whether you have or not.

    Do Not Hesitate in the least, nor show any sort of emotion.
    Trust me.

  116. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:08 pm #

    Jazz, they always shitcan people on Friday cause they (the corporate douchebags of the world) believe there’ll be less chance of violence.

    Which, if ya feel the urge, you could totally throw a kink in the works.

  117. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:08 pm #

    HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!

    Oh, this is gonna be fun. 😀

    I just got a call from the guy who was with me when this whole incident started. Evidently, they’ve changed the locks at the office.

    What does that mean?

  118. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:10 pm #

    I’ve got an employee handbook, and I haven’t looked recently, but this kind of dismissal seems not to follow the company procedures at all, by my recollection. I haven’t had a single written warning, and no disciplinary notes to my knowledge at all.

    Heheheheheheheheheheh

  119. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:16 pm #

    Wait just one minute……

    Call in sick tomorrow. Tell them you have a 102 temp and shitting your brains out.
    That will fuck them up beyond believe. Then stay out, for as long as the number of sick days you have available.

  120. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:20 pm #

    Better yet, tell the morning receptionist that your distraught because of your work environment.

  121. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    Better yet, tell the morning receptionist that your distraught because of your work environment.

    I did that to the VP today. I think that’s what’s precipitating this li’l exchange.

  122. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

    That, and the fact that I requested a copy of my personnel file.

  123. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:26 pm #

    Time to light them up, in court.

  124. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:35 pm #

    My mom is sitting next to me laughing at you, Dick.

  125. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:35 pm #

    Hell, I don’t doubt it a bit.

    Hi MOM!!!!!!!!!~!

  126. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 9:36 pm #

    Sounds highly irregular, Jazz.

    They realize you are a lawyer, right??

  127. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:39 pm #

    Jazz, time to move to D/FW. Believe it not, we need more lawyers.

    (now I have to kill myself for admitting that)

  128. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

    HOWDY, JAZZ’ MOM!!!!

    *waves frantically*

  129. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

    She says, “Hi, Dick!”

    She thinks you seem nicer than me.

  130. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:41 pm #

    Why yes, I am half plastered.

  131. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 9:41 pm #

    She thinks you seem nicer than me.

    Poor woman…she must be tired from a long day… 😉

  132. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    HOWDY, JAZZ’ MOM!!!!

    *waves frantically*

    LMAO – she likes my friends, and she says hi to you, too, Ags! She’s laughing at the whorehouse, too – she spotted the whore’s light saber.

  133. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    She thinks you seem nicer than me.

    Of course she does. I’m not a lawyer.

  134. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    Okay, since Mom’s watching, I’ll say it it.

    Stop being a pussy and hang out your own shingle.

  135. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    she spotted the whore’s light saber.

    Is that what that is???

  136. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    And I apologize, (not really) for asking what you were wearing earlier.

  137. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    Jazz, time to move to D/FW. Believe it not, we need more lawyers.

    I am looking, Dick. I’m going to be getting much seriouser about it now, and I have Texas at the top of my search parameters. My cousins have a pool biz in Plano and I’ve got another cousin who’s got a roofing biz down in the DFW area, too. Not that I’d want to do either – I’m a light skinned Irishman who’d dessicate quickly in the sun. Thing is, my fam’s so large that the first time I met them was at my cousin’s funeral a couple of summers ago, and we haven’t spoken since. Nice folks, though, and I do have true TX connections!

  138. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

    Of course she does. I’m not a lawyer.

    Okay, since Mom’s watching, I’ll say it it.

    Stop being a pussy and hang out your own shingle.

    She in changing her Depends now on account of those comments. 😀

    And I apologize, (not really) for asking what you were wearing earlier.

    And I apologize for telling you what I was wearing.

  139. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    Is that what that is???

    LMAO – she knew right what it was, and she said, “You guys are sick.” ;p

  140. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    I missed what Jazz was wearing???

    Dang it…

  141. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    Gotta run. See y’all tomorrow in the unemployment line!

    Or maybe the litigation line.

    😀

  142. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

    Here you go, Ags!

    A little midday palate cleaner

  143. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

    In my defense that was NOT my contribution 😉

    God bless PattyAnn!!

  144. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

    G’night, Jazz, and Jazz’ Mom!!

  145. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

    Jazz, hope it’s not what you think it is.
    In the meantime:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    Thanks, TiFW – you’re sweet. Thank you all for the generous offers, too. I’ll keep you updated as things progress.

  146. Jazz June 30, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

    G’nite, y’all. 😀

  147. Dick June 30, 2011 at 9:59 pm #

    ‘night Jazz. Sleep good and fuck some idiots up tomorrow.

  148. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

    Glad to see Jazz in a better frame of mind, too.

  149. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 10:13 pm #

    There is always the possibility of practicing law in the Puget Sound area…

  150. Dick June 30, 2011 at 10:19 pm #

    BiW, don’t lie. There is no law in the Puget Sound area.

  151. Dick June 30, 2011 at 10:21 pm #

    People here are getting used to the weather. I’m getting calls again.

  152. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 10:21 pm #

    Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but when things suck, you still have awesome views.

  153. Dick June 30, 2011 at 10:23 pm #

    True dat, according to memory.

  154. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 10:27 pm #

    It can be very relaxing to drive home and see the cascades in the distance.

  155. Dick June 30, 2011 at 10:30 pm #

    And then to suddenly realize the cascades are surrounded by Libs.

    G’night!

  156. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

    I would love to see the Pacific Northwest before I die.

  157. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 30, 2011 at 10:42 pm #

    You can see some great pics on my FaceChimp page.

  158. LC Aggie Sith June 30, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    Oh, I have. Beautiful area, BisW.

  159. Jay in Ames July 1, 2011 at 7:44 am #

    Good luck today, Jazz! They don’t deserve you!

    (was gonna post a Donald Trump youtube, but thought it might be “too soon”)

  160. Jazz July 1, 2011 at 8:47 am #

    Good morning, folks!

    Got a few pre-meeting jitters, but that’s normal and good. They enhance perceptions and cognitive functions, I think.

    I will be so glad to have this over! 😀

  161. Jazz July 1, 2011 at 8:50 am #

    Good luck today, Jazz! They don’t deserve you!

    I believe that’s what they’re saying right now, too, albeit from a different perspective. 😛

  162. roamingfirehydrant July 1, 2011 at 8:54 am #

    Good luck, Jazz. Be sure to moon them on your way out.

    I’m going to be offline most of the day – travelling home. (((Squishy hugs)))

  163. Jazz July 1, 2011 at 8:56 am #

    😀 Thank you, Romy!!!!

  164. Jazz July 1, 2011 at 8:59 am #

    was gonna post a Donald Trump youtube, but thought it might be “too soon”

    hahahahaha! well, let’s wait until after the meeting, so that everything lines up the way it’s supposed to. Too soon? Nah – not soon enough.

    I left my last long-term job under mutual agreement, because I was working for a family-owned law firm that wouldn’t ever promote me to partner status. Once I figured out that I had no upward mobility in that environment, the relationship deteriorated to the point where we just couldn’t maintain the relationship. This’ll be my very first out-and-out firing, though.

  165. Jay in Ames July 1, 2011 at 9:10 am #

    I’ve been through a firing, and while it’s no fun, it isn’t the end of the world.

    The sun’ll come up, tomorrow!

    /Annie

  166. Jazz July 1, 2011 at 9:13 am #

    J’Ames, with the crushing and oppressive sense of fatalism I’ve been living with for the past year in regard to that place, this is going to be a GREAT relief for me, and at least I’ll have unemployment to ease the pain a little.

  167. Jay in Ames July 1, 2011 at 9:18 am #

    Of course, get ready to be called a hypocrite for using a program that you have paid into, just because you are a conservative.

  168. Jazz July 1, 2011 at 9:24 am #

    The WI ban on collective bargaining ban for benefits is not working as the Dems predicted:

    The Kaukauna School District, in the Fox River Valley of Wisconsin near Appleton, has about 4,200 students and about 400 employees. It has struggled in recent times and this year faced a deficit of $400,000. But after the law went into effect, at 12:01 a.m. Wednesday, school officials put in place new policies they estimate will turn that $400,000 deficit into a $1.5 million surplus. And it’s all because of the very provisions that union leaders predicted would be disastrous.

    http://tinyurl.com/3kwxsex

  169. Jay in Ames July 1, 2011 at 9:27 am #

    Minnesota government shuts down, because their governor (Dayton – D) is a dick.

    http://www.theblaze.com/stories/minnesota-government-shuts-down/

    Iowa won’t be far behind, I’m afraid. Except our governor is a R.

  170. Jazz July 1, 2011 at 9:27 am #

    J’Ames, I’m going to do everything I can to avoid availing myself of those bennies – if I get a decent severance/waiver package, I won’t have to use apply for unemployment at all. I do not intend to negotiate a severance/waiver today, either – I’ll let my attorneys handle that.

  171. LC Aggie Sith July 1, 2011 at 9:31 am #

    Good morning!

    Jazz, I shall be saying prayers for you today. Know that an angel goes with you!

    And it’s all because of the very provisions that union leaders predicted would be disastrous.

    Oh, the provisions were completely disastrous….FOR THE UNIONS.

  172. Jazz July 1, 2011 at 9:32 am #

    Jazz, I shall be saying prayers for you today. Know that an angel goes with you!

    That means a so much, Ags! Thank you. I have to get ready now, but I’ll be back later.

  173. Jay in Ames July 1, 2011 at 9:32 am #

    That WI article is incredible! Stupid union. Imma gonna steal that, thanks Jazz!

  174. Jazz July 1, 2011 at 9:33 am #

    Here’s Chris Christie to play me out: http://tinyurl.com/42nlxyu

  175. LC Aggie Sith July 1, 2011 at 9:34 am #

    And did WP regress? The options to log in with twitter and facebook are gone.

  176. Jazz July 1, 2011 at 9:37 am #

    I still see them, Ags. I’m still trying to leave, too

  177. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX July 1, 2011 at 9:41 am #

    Jazz. since you figure the writing is already on the wall, here’s my advice:

    Take your mother with you to the office when you go.

  178. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX July 1, 2011 at 9:44 am #

    Everyone thinks lawyers will scare people, but trust me, NOTHING scares folks more than someone’s mother getting righteous on their ass.

    And if someone’s mom comes to this joint and doesn’t run screaming into the night, that is EXACTLY the kind of mom who will go into such a meeting ready to kick ass and take no prisoners….

  179. Dick July 1, 2011 at 9:50 am #

    Jazz, go there, smile, and have a great day.

  180. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX July 1, 2011 at 9:59 am #

    New poat!

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