And God created the Midwest…

10 Mar

On the sixth day, God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said, “Today I am going to create an area of land called The Midwest.
It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall hills and rolling plains full of game and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and streams full of trout, forests full of deer and turkeys, valleys with fertile soil with an abundance nutrients to grow things, and rivers teeming with fish.”


God continued, “I shall make the land rich in resources so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Midwesterners, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth.”

“But Lord,” asked Gabriel, “don’t you think you are being too generous to these Midwesterners??”
“Not really,” replied God.. “Just wait and see the winters I am going to give them!”



Happy Monday! It’s gonna be in the 60s today!

EDIT: When Troy is right, he’s right!


21 Responses to “And God created the Midwest…”

  1. Jay in Ames March 10, 2014 at 9:03 am #

    Nobels. Leave them over there in the pile of snow.

  2. GMLand March 10, 2014 at 10:24 am #

    *flies over post*

  3. GMLand March 10, 2014 at 10:25 am #

    *loads cannon full of de-icing salt and Nobels and aims it at Ames*

  4. LC Aggie Sith March 10, 2014 at 10:54 am #

    The winter of their discontent, and mine. Brrrr….

  5. Sentry March 10, 2014 at 11:02 am #

    You know, people like to piss and moan aboot the weather, and this was a harsh Winter this year. I remember some pretty nasty ones though, where my legs would burn from the cold on the way to school despite three pairs of long underwear and a snow suit. We got through them.

    So to this day, I always want to deliver a savage beating to any twat that complains aboot the heat.

  6. LC Aggie Sith March 10, 2014 at 11:03 am #

    Yeah, first person to bitch about the heat here in Texas will meet Joaquina face to face.

  7. Jay in Ames March 10, 2014 at 11:09 am #

    60’s today, and snow is predicted for Tuesday.

    I love the Midwest. If you don’t like the weather, wait a minute, it will change.

  8. GMLand March 10, 2014 at 11:14 am #

    As a transplanted Texan living in the deep north now (Tennessee), it is taking me years to get acclimated and it just won’t take. I miss August in Houston!

  9. LC Aggie Sith March 10, 2014 at 11:54 am #

    August in Houston….

    Where you can cut the humidity with a chainsaw, as long as you have six hours free to do it.

  10. GMLand March 10, 2014 at 12:27 pm #

    Is there no better feeling than your polo shirt melded to your back with sweat and the confidence inspiring friz your hair takes on simply by climbing in your truck? I say no.

  11. LC Aggie Sith March 10, 2014 at 1:33 pm #

    Amen to that, my friend.

  12. terribletroy March 10, 2014 at 2:34 pm #

    (Im late but I didnt want you guys to miss out on my routine)……

    Hey JAY! Ya know whut else GOD MADE?? Thats RIGHT! BEWBS! And he even put them on midwest farmers daughters….. You know why you’re getting snow on Tuesday? Cause you didnt poat any bewbs and chase winter back to canada….

    Thus ends my schtick…..

    (In life its the constants that contribute to that feeling of normality and security. So im just doin my part. In fact I should get a Nobel Peace Prize for promoting good mental health….and tittehs…..

    • Jay in Ames March 10, 2014 at 2:38 pm #

      This. When Troy is on, he’s ON!

  13. Jay in Ames March 10, 2014 at 2:40 pm #

    Updated for Troy.

  14. GMLand March 10, 2014 at 2:50 pm #

    When Troy wants tittehs, by golly he gets tittehs.

    I’ll be your wingman anytime, Troy!

  15. LC Aggie Sith March 10, 2014 at 3:54 pm #

    Hell of an update.

    Troy, are you attending the Rott Fest this year at the M’s?

  16. terribletroy March 10, 2014 at 4:25 pm #

    OH yeah….. I will be there. How could I possibly miss THE event of the season? I have been plotting and scheming and scheming and plotting since the announcement. Ricky (LC FMWoods) and I will be making the trip. Still in the planning stage….locating all the State Police Barracks, finding good dump sites in case we run across any hitch hikers, where were going stop and eat…. just the lil details that make road trips so much more pleasant.

    Well Done Jay! Congratulations on you Nobel Prize winning update. I will notify the committee. You want me to submit the paperwork for the Pulitzer while Im at it? No problem, as both groups use the same forms…..

  17. Reiuxcat March 10, 2014 at 5:08 pm #

    “I miss August in Houston”


  18. LC Aggie Sith March 10, 2014 at 8:12 pm #

    Cool! We need to convince GML to attend as a lurking Rottie.

    If he does attend, the world may not survive. So we have that going for us 😀

  19. terribletroy March 10, 2014 at 11:26 pm #

    How long ago did you leave Tx. GMLand ?

  20. GMLand March 10, 2014 at 11:34 pm #

    I have been in witness protection here in Nashville since Nov. 2007.

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