Hands Not Quite Across America

24 Sep

Here is my response to the insipid “For All” pledge that the so-called celebrities are doing for the Prez.

I pledge allegiance to no man.

Fuck whoever came up with that insult and may they get rabies from that syphilitic jackass screwing them.

41 Responses to “Hands Not Quite Across America”

  1. Jay in Ames September 24, 2012 at 8:58 am #

    Nice choice!

    • LC Aggie Sith September 24, 2012 at 9:01 am #

      Sadly, I didn’t have to think long about it.

      Oh, and GOOD MORNING!!! Hope the Mrs. is doing well 🙂

      • Jay in Ames September 24, 2012 at 9:32 am #

        Yes, she is. Sleeping on the couch when I left, cat comfortably on top of her.

        And yes, she is SUPPOSED to sleep on the couch, not the bed, so quit looking down your nose at me.

        • LC Aggie Sith September 24, 2012 at 10:01 am #

          Oh no, I totally understand.

          A friend of mine could only sleep on the recliner after his rotator cuff surgery, per orders, so I get that the couch would be better in this case 🙂

  2. clintbird September 24, 2012 at 11:35 am #

    I slept in a recliner for three or four weeks after my first rotator cuff surgery.

  3. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX September 24, 2012 at 11:50 am #

    Finally got around to reading my e-mail from the weekend, and found this gem in there:

    http://www.munchkinwrangler.com/2012/09/22/careful-your-mascara-is-running/

    Be sure and click through to read the original post, and click from there to the comments at Reddit – the dude is a 1st-class whiny Apple fanboi douchebag, and they let him have it with both barrels…..

  4. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX September 24, 2012 at 11:52 am #

    And yes, she is SUPPOSED to sleep on the couch, not the bed, so quit looking down your nose at me.

    Well, duh – how else is she supposed to be in charge of the remote and/or order you to bring her things when you are at home?

    If she were in the bedroom, you would be free to ignore her, and we can’t have that, now, can we? 😛

  5. Jay in Ames September 24, 2012 at 11:59 am #

    I’m just sad that she doesn’t like Ramen Noodles. I actually have to put effort into meals now.

  6. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX September 24, 2012 at 1:18 pm #

    I actually have to put effort into meals now.

    A lot of restaurants these days have a wonderful invention called a “Drive-Thru Window” (or “Curbside Service”).

    You should totally check that out….. 😛

  7. Jay in Ames September 24, 2012 at 1:22 pm #

    Yeah, that’s effort, too, compared to ramen noodles. 5 mins in the microwave, DINNER!

    Love those things.

  8. LC Aggie Sith September 24, 2012 at 1:49 pm #

    *reads J’Ames’ comments*

    *weeps for Mrs. J’Ames*

    Teresa, I read that pussy’s rant about his iPhone yesterday. I hope he has never reproduced.

  9. LC Aggie Sith September 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm #

    Taste the love, Mahmoud

    HA! They forgot the best item evah: HEBREW NATIONAL HOT DOGS!!!!

  10. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX September 24, 2012 at 1:59 pm #

    I hope he has never reproduced.

    Hipster douchebags tend to be on the low end of the Beta Male scale – I seriously doubt he would know what to do with a woman were he ever to find himself alone with one.

    Unless she is dressed like an unwrapped iPhone box…..

  11. Jay in Ames September 24, 2012 at 2:01 pm #

    I’ll bet he’s one of those guys that “loves” his car, IYKWIMAITYD

  12. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX September 24, 2012 at 2:03 pm #

    Love those things.

    We call them “Chock Full O’ Gluten” at our house….. 😛

  13. Jay in Ames September 24, 2012 at 2:03 pm #

    Oh goody, President 3 Putt is going to speak to the UN General Assembly!

  14. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX September 24, 2012 at 2:03 pm #

    And apologize profusely for the video that didn’t cause the riots.
    I hear.

  15. Jay in Ames September 24, 2012 at 2:07 pm #

    I heard the speaking part.

    The apology part is implied.

  16. LC Aggie Sith September 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

    So, he made time for the UN? Wow…how big of him…

  17. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX September 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm #

    I’ll bet he’s one of those guys that “loves” his car, IYKWIMAITYD

    Please – people like that don’t own Gaia-raping machines.
    Not because they can’t afford them, you understand – no, no, no…..

    I’m betting he saves his precious bodily fluids to lavish on his hipster doofus symbols of personal awesomeness (blithely unaware of the ironically bourgeois message of conspicuous consumption that he is sending by owning such items in the first place).

  18. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX September 24, 2012 at 2:10 pm #

    So, he made time for the UN? Wow…how big of him…

    And the ladies of The View.

    Netanyahu, not so much.
    Apparently Morsi got stiffed at the last minute as well.

    • LC Aggie Sith September 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm #

      No, I bet he sexted Morsi and pacified him with the promise of a reach around.

      And by that, I mean MORSI giving it 😉

  19. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX September 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm #

    LOL!

    Everyone knows that Barry is the catcher…..

  20. GMLand September 24, 2012 at 3:19 pm #

    Knock, knock.

    • LC Aggie Sith September 24, 2012 at 3:24 pm #

      You forgot the rest.

      It’s “Knock, knock, motherfucker!”

      😀

      • GMLand September 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm #

        my bad, I didn’t finish – I meant… knocker, knocker.

  21. Jay in Ames September 24, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

    *gets popcorn

  22. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX September 24, 2012 at 4:03 pm #

    I thought that went, “What knockers!”…..

  23. LC Aggie Sith September 24, 2012 at 4:09 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Props for the Young Frankenstein reference 😀

  24. lclintsp September 24, 2012 at 6:05 pm #

    An important update has been added to this poat. I.M.P.O.R.T.A.N.T.

  25. Jay in Ames September 24, 2012 at 6:29 pm #

    OK, there’s something you can’t unsee.

  26. LC Aggie Sith September 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm #

    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU……………..

    MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. mrfixitou812 September 25, 2012 at 8:12 am #

    That update requires gallons of brainbleach…
    (goes back to lurking)

  28. Jay in Ames September 25, 2012 at 8:57 am #

    Howdy mrfixit!

  29. Jay in Ames September 25, 2012 at 9:02 am #
  30. Jay in Ames September 25, 2012 at 9:03 am #

    If there’s any national catastrophe the American people can rally behind, it’s football.

    October surprise?

  31. Jay in Ames September 25, 2012 at 9:06 am #

    Sandra Fluke has also weighed in on this important issue:

    http://twitchy.com/2012/09/25/finally-sandra-fluke-weighs-in-on-nfl-replacement-refs-shills-for-big-labor/

    • LC Aggie Sith September 25, 2012 at 10:11 am #

      omigawd….

      What does football have to do with her uterus?

  32. Jay in Ames September 25, 2012 at 11:13 am #

    New Patriotic Poat!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: