Dogs With Religion

9 Jul

Dear God: Is it on purpose that Our Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch, or will it be the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog:

1. I will not eat the cat’s food before he eats it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house, not after.
10. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’, so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?

Update: In keeping with our theme, I give you Sweater Puppies:

18 Responses to “Dogs With Religion”

  1. Jay in Ames July 9, 2012 at 9:10 am #

    Awwww, isn’t that cute?

    Too cute. I’ll update with more ‘Peasantness.

  2. Jay in Ames July 9, 2012 at 9:12 am #

    There, that’s more like it.

  3. LC Aggie Sith July 9, 2012 at 9:13 am #

    Oh, I love it!!!

    And the dog balancing the biscuit looks like my big dog. But I have never made her do that. Hubby, on the other hand…

  4. Jay in Ames July 9, 2012 at 9:18 am #

    That picture reminds me of the Sunny pics Rachel Lucas used to put up. With green beans instead of the milk bone.

  5. clintbird July 9, 2012 at 9:34 am #

    I LOVE Bloodhounds. One of my best friends has one, and he’s just about the funniest/coolest dog ever!

  6. terribletroy July 9, 2012 at 9:49 am #

    I like PUPPIES!

  7. Jay in Ames July 9, 2012 at 10:23 am #

    Hah, President Ladies Tee seems to be lying about his lack of fundraising:

    Just as I thought. It’s gonna be an uphill climb, but at least our morale is powered by liberal tears.

  8. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX July 9, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    Governor Rick Perry tells Obama and Sebelius to stick it where the sun don’t shine:


  9. Jay in Ames July 9, 2012 at 12:35 pm #

    I voted for him.

    *pats self on back

  10. Jay in Ames July 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

    Paging Turbo Tax Timmeh! More business acumen for your cabinet! Now introducing President Shanksalot:

  11. LC Aggie Sith July 9, 2012 at 1:00 pm #

    Teresa and I are on acid!!

    J’Ames, you have to be careful 😉

  12. LC Aggie Sith July 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm #

    The comments at the Chron Perry link are hilarious 😀

  13. Jay in Ames July 9, 2012 at 1:09 pm #

    Heh, wine coolers, huh?

    Back in the day, the coaches at ISU did a photo, with them done up as Bartles and James. Prophetic, huh?

  14. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX July 9, 2012 at 1:37 pm #

    Loved the BCS link, Ags!

  15. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX July 9, 2012 at 7:33 pm #

    *stretches out*

    Owning the comments, once again….

  16. roamingfirehydrant July 9, 2012 at 10:55 pm #

    Dog Rules

Comments are closed.

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