Why God Made Moms

11 May

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string,I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside, she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Hope y’all have a wonderful weekend, and a great Mother’s Day!!! πŸ˜€

20 Responses to “Why God Made Moms”

  1. LC Aggie Sith May 11, 2012 at 7:29 am #

    I love having eyes in the back of my head. It’s rather Stephen King of me.

    And GOOD MORNING!!!

  2. The Queen May 11, 2012 at 8:23 am #

    I think that under “Why did Mom marry Dad?” the answer- She got too old to do anything else with him….. will go down in history. That just made my week!
    Good Morning!

  3. LC Aggie Sith May 11, 2012 at 10:01 am #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah, that was great πŸ˜€

  4. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 11, 2012 at 10:13 am #

    This is wonderful! Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms out there (and the ones who love them)! β™₯β™₯β™₯

  5. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 11, 2012 at 12:20 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

    The ironies in this article are just too hilarious for words:

    http://dailycaller.com/2012/05/11/facing-seiu-picket-planned-parenthood-cancels-fundraiser/

    I love watching liberals eat their own…..

  6. LC Aggie Sith May 11, 2012 at 1:09 pm #

    The ultimate irony? The head of the SEIU being married to the head of PP πŸ˜€

  7. LC Aggie Sith May 11, 2012 at 2:03 pm #

    Heh!

  8. clintbird May 11, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

    The Aggies will find the SEC, um, uh, “interestng.”

    • LC Aggie Sith May 11, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

      We will get crushed, beaten, and screwed without the benefit of a reach-around.

      But we will have earned it, and no longer will we be screwed because of the whims of those teasippin’ pussies at t.u.

  9. GMLand May 11, 2012 at 2:37 pm #

    The ags had the 4th best recruiting class this past recruiting season. Kids won’t have to leave Texas to play in the SEC now – too bad for LSU!!!

    • LC Aggie Sith May 11, 2012 at 2:39 pm #

      HAHAHAHA!!! LSU can choke πŸ˜‰

  10. LC Aggie Sith May 11, 2012 at 2:50 pm #

    In case y’all haven’t seen it:

    http://www.hookersandbooze.com/2012/05/m-is-for/

  11. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 11, 2012 at 5:34 pm #

    The only thing that I hate about going to the SEC is that the A&M/t.u. rivalry had to come to an end (even if t.u. was being an ass about it) – it was always fun to josh around with buddies who went to the “other” school each year….

  12. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 11, 2012 at 5:35 pm #

    And I wonder if the Aggie War Hymn’s lyrics will change now? I mean, we don’t really have a chief “rival” anymore.

    • LC Aggie Sith May 11, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

      I haven’t heard anything to that effect, Teresa.

      We still want to beat t.u., even in song πŸ˜‰

  13. clintbird May 12, 2012 at 10:58 am #

    DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRANDMOTHERS & GRANDFATHERS:
    Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:
    There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time – pancakes, ice cr…eam, candy? — just him and his granddaughter.
    One particular Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn’t feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for the drive and breakfast.
    When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. “Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?” he asked. “Not really, Pop Pop , it was really boring. We didn’t see a single asshole, queer, lesbian, piece of crap, horse’s ass, liberal pinko democrat Obama lover, blind bastard, dipshit, Muslim camel humper or son of a bitch anywhere we went!”
    I hope you feel better by next Saturday.

  14. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2012 at 1:00 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Awesome, CB πŸ˜€

  15. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 13, 2012 at 10:27 am #

    I got brave this year – made my Mom a Shutterfly book for Mother’s Day. She’s been making a real nuisance of herself, taking it around and showing it to anyone who doesn’t move out of her way fast enough:

    http://teresainfortworth.wordpress.com/2012/05/13/i-love-you-mom/

  16. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 13, 2012 at 11:39 am #

    I’m not the only nerd in the world!!!!!!!

  17. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 13, 2012 at 5:30 pm #

    Mr. TiFW, DD#3, and Rebecca took me to see The Avengers this afternoon; when we got home, DD#2 was sitting on the couch – she came to visit me for Mother’s Day.

    SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

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