The “I’m Too Busy With Shit Going On in My Life to Bother With Substance” Post

24 Apr

Yay, I found a funneh!!

No shit, y’all. I say we try this today!!

A LOT!!! 😉

14 Responses to “The “I’m Too Busy With Shit Going On in My Life to Bother With Substance” Post”

  1. LC Aggie Sith April 24, 2012 at 8:44 am #

    GOOD MORNING, PEASANTS!!!!

    No, haven’t gone out to find someone to slap yet.

  2. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 24, 2012 at 9:54 am #

    So my Dad is visiting for a couple of days. He and Mr. TiFW started talking guns last night, and the subject of being fingerprinted came up. My Dad mentioned that he has been fingerprinted at least 4 times in his life – 3 times for each of the various jobs that he had through the years, and once for the time HE GOT ARRESTED.

    WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    The man just turned 80, and I have never known him as anything other than a mild-mannered engineer. Bit of a prude, actually.

    Turns out in his wilder days (right before he met Mom), he was quite the hellion.

    He was driving home on Christmas Eve and had apparently tied one on. Being a Texas boy, he was used to long, straight stretches of highway, not the curves of North Carolina roads. So he missed a “turn”, overcorrected, and his car hit a railroad support and flipped onto its side.

    The doors flew open, the windows all broke, and Dad was knocked unconscious. When he woke up, he felt some guy reaching for his wallet, so he took a swing.

    At the nice police officer.

    Off to the pokey he went, where they charged him with DUI, assaulting a police officer, and a few other minor offenses. He got to spend the night in the hoosegow, nursing his wounds (he says it’s a miracle he wasn’t killed in the crash).

    I had to pick my jaw up off of the floor…..

  3. TaiwanMike April 24, 2012 at 9:58 am #

    There is a reason why it is called “unexpected”. Just change the saying to “expect the stuff that’s gonna happen next”.

  4. Jay in Ames April 24, 2012 at 11:07 am #

    Male Sensitivity‏
    The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
    The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.
    Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.
    Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.
    Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this together.
    It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her.
    In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.”
    The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
    After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.
    “Yes?” said the Instructor.”
    I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk.”

  5. The Queen April 24, 2012 at 11:19 am #

    J’Ames- I certainly didn’t expect that! Thanks for a good giggle!

  6. Jay in Ames April 24, 2012 at 11:23 am #

    You are most welcome. I chuckled, also.

  7. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 24, 2012 at 12:18 pm #

    Imagine his wife’s surprise after taking ten swings with the nine iron, when she learned that his head really didn’t have a sweet spot.

  8. GMLand April 24, 2012 at 12:19 pm #

    This is exactly what I expected this poat to be about today.

  9. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm #

  10. Jay in Ames April 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm #

    I see you haven’t put any Rutherford bait out lately, BiW. Is the cat tiring of the mouse?

  11. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 24, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

    I gave up going to his page. He’s been phoning it in for the last year, but what tore it for me is the willful ignorance. If I wanted to listen to someone who couldn’t explain the reasons what something is the way it is while explaining that it should actually be like THIS instead, I’d listen more closely to my 12 year old.

    As for my posting, I’ve been reading more, and frankly, the daily stream of absurdity leaves me pretty much speechless. It would be like having the state of Texas covered in a 12 foot layer of shit, being handed a toothpick, and being told to start shoveling.

  12. Jay in Ames April 24, 2012 at 4:13 pm #

    Hahaha, Soylent green has the bestest spam letter EVAH!

  13. Jay in Ames April 24, 2012 at 6:37 pm #

    Did anyone else just add a couple days to their work week?

    Winning!

  14. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 24, 2012 at 8:39 pm #

    I thought “Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor Child” was an arrestable offense:

    http://theothermccain.com/2012/04/24/new-york-advocacy-groups-plans-very-gay-mothers-day-event-in-sex-toy-shop/

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