Dear Mom and Dad….

11 Apr
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam’s mother and tell her he is okay. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn’t burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.

Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn’t his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that’s probably why he can’t get insurance.

We think it’s a super bus. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty, and if it’s hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren’t any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn’t let me because I can’t swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it’s concrete because we didn’t have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Ted isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn’t even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.

Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I’m so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and buy some more beer and ammo. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it’s my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster’s tent.

Your son,
Timmy

22 Responses to “Dear Mom and Dad….”

  1. LC Aggie Sith April 11, 2012 at 7:35 am #

    GOOD MORNING, WANKERS!!!

  2. Jay in Ames April 11, 2012 at 9:38 am #

    I’m glad you changed the names on my old Scout letters.

    Phew.

  3. LC Aggie Sith April 11, 2012 at 9:40 am #

    Is your name James Timothy???

  4. Jay in Ames April 11, 2012 at 9:44 am #

    Timmy in the well! Get Lassie!

    Timmah!

  5. GMLand April 11, 2012 at 9:55 am #

    What do you say when you have nothing to say?

  6. LC Aggie Sith April 11, 2012 at 10:06 am #

    Fuck it, drive on?

  7. Jay in Ames April 11, 2012 at 10:24 am #

    I think that line was cut from The Blues Brothers.

  8. Jay in Ames April 11, 2012 at 11:03 am #

    It was a good poat.

    *rolls poat over

    *shoos GMLand away

    *shoots poat

  9. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 11, 2012 at 11:10 am #

    Warn a girl, wouldja? Now I have to clean Coke spew off of my computer…..

  10. Jay in Ames April 11, 2012 at 11:20 am #

    Just consider it an ongoing warning. I’m so darn funny, I just don’t know when it’s gonna pop out.

    *pats self on back

  11. LC Aggie Sith April 11, 2012 at 11:20 am #

    It was a good poat.

    Look, I have family here!! I can’t be bothered to be commenting here every two minutes!!

  12. Jay in Ames April 11, 2012 at 11:24 am #

    I can’t be bothered to be commenting here every two minutes!!

    Let’s try to be a little less self centered, here. It’s not always about you.

    *runs

  13. LC Aggie Sith April 11, 2012 at 11:24 am #

    *sharpens machete*

  14. GMLand April 11, 2012 at 11:29 am #

    *reappears just to bug J’Ames*

    *scampers*

  15. Jay in Ames April 11, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

    I already shot the poat once. Don’t make me do it again!

  16. GMLand April 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm #

    This poat is already walking the spirit world.

    R.I.P.

  17. LC Aggie Sith April 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm #

    GAH!!!

    I do have a life outside of blogs 😛

  18. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 11, 2012 at 8:00 pm #

    Can I brag on DD#2?
    Yes, you all say?
    OK:

    Time to brag on one of my kids again….. http://t.co/oGRUIcIV

  19. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm #

    I forwarded the post to my mom (copied it – she’d freak out at the hoors) – she said it sounds like some of the letters she used to get from us when we were at camp…..

  20. roamingfirehydrant April 12, 2012 at 8:28 am #

    Band camp was like that, especially the bus part.

    • LC Aggie Sith April 12, 2012 at 9:18 am #

      HAHAHAHAHA!!! Nice to see you here, Roamy!!

      And NEW POAT!!!

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