Intoxi*hic*ation

30 Jan

So, which one are you?

I really hope I’m never Number 12.

Have a great Monday!

67 Responses to “Intoxi*hic*ation”

  1. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 7:28 am #

    GOOD MORNING, PEASANTS!!!

    I shall be scarce today, and pretty much the rest of the week due to attending a scrapbooking retreat.

    I am desperate for adult conversation, so don’t judge me too harshly.

  2. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 7:34 am #

    Oh, fine, so put all the pressure on us right off the bat! This is no way to start a Monday!

  3. Dick (@DicksTrash) January 30, 2012 at 7:35 am #

    I’m a laugh a lot and get nekkid drunk.

  4. The Queen January 30, 2012 at 8:08 am #

    I am almost alway #2- Happy Drunk!
    Speaking of happy….. the background for this blog cracks me up. I can’t help but smile every time I open it!

  5. clintbird January 30, 2012 at 9:26 am #

    Uh, though I’m long past those days, I think I may need to plead guilty to No. 8.

  6. TerribleTroy January 30, 2012 at 10:05 am #

    Aggies says “I shall be scarce today, and pretty much the rest of the week”

    But, but… who’s gonna cater to my BOOBIE addiction? I WANT BOOBIES DAMMIT! LOL

    A scrapbook retreat? WTF? They have those?” And you expect to find “adult” conversation there? I hope you have a most excellent time, but you will be missed.

    I was a “only get buzzed in public, then get drunk alone drunk.” A real George Thourogood DRUNK. Unfortunately, I did this so much I earned myself a much needed 28 day vacation. I rarely drink nowadays and only in a very controlled manner and environment.

  7. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX January 30, 2012 at 10:13 am #

    I have never been drunk.

    Apparently it skips a generation in my family…..

  8. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 10:25 am #

    I have never been drunk.

    Is that English?

  9. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 11:12 am #

    I have been 1 through 12 at various stages of my life.

  10. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere January 30, 2012 at 11:20 am #

    No Comment.

  11. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX January 30, 2012 at 11:46 am #

    Oh, oh, oh – I have to tell you a story!

    Last Friday, the FTW Water Department was working by our house – it seems that the sewer line was clogged somewhere near us, and we have a manhole cover in the street right next to the house.

    So they came out to fix it with their roto-rooter truck. For whatever reason, the manhole coverplate doesn’t line up over the pipe (OLD neighborhood), so they had to dig into the street itself, which meant that the stuff that they left was more “fragrant” than it would have normally been (the smell dispersed fairly quickly).

    Anyway, when Mr. TiFW came home, the first thing he asked was “Why is there burnt stuff in the street?” – turns out he had been poking around the black asphalt bits.

    THEN he shows me the 4 pennies that he had picked up when he had gone over to investigate, “These were just laying out in the street – they smell kind of funny.”

    And I got to tell him – I kid you not – “Those are ASS PENNIES…..”

  12. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX January 30, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    Is that English?

    Hmm, let’s see – ancestors on Mother’s side are from Ireland, ancestors on Father’s side are British and Scottish, so…..

    Yeppers – Grade A jen-yoo-wine English!
    (I’m so pasty white, I glow….)

  13. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX January 30, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

    Oh, and by the miracle of modern-day technology, I was just able to talk with DD#3 (Skype – my first time!). She got in to London just fine; The Boy and his soon-to-be-stepfather picked her up at Heathrow, and she has already charmed the whole family.

    Life is good.

  14. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 1:01 pm #

    Good to hear, TiFW. Sounds like she’ll have a great time over there.

  15. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 1:01 pm #

    Is aggie still off eating paste?

  16. Lizard January 30, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    I am most generally #2 but have been known to be #12 with my cell phone as well as posting on a site or two.

    Aggie have fun, though I am concerned about your mental health if a scrap-booking retreat equals adult interaction. 😉

    Hey Troy – not the first time in NYC. I don’t think I will ever get the Nu Yawk attitude, but the upstairs neighbor did their best to bring out my Midwest kickass attitude. I like New York in small doses and love subway system. I just don’t like the cost of things there.

  17. TerribleTroy January 30, 2012 at 3:50 pm #

    @ liz.

    I made it policy a little over 10 years ago to not set foot in the northeast cooridor (sp?) Unless I was “on the clock” at premium rate with all the bells and whistles. Bout the only thing I miss is the food and museums. Glad you had good time. Give my best to your travel companion. I havnt seen him around for a while.

  18. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 4:00 pm #

    Is aggie still off eating paste?

    Just got back… *scrapes glue out of hair*

  19. Lizard January 30, 2012 at 4:01 pm #

    @ Troy will do. You need to hit the H&B chat 🙂 It’s how I found my way here.

  20. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 4:04 pm #

    *looks at the plastic corset*

    Holy SHEEEE-it….

  21. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    Plastic??!

    EEWWWWW!

  22. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX January 30, 2012 at 4:12 pm #

    CHIEF KNOWS THE SEX OF HIS GRANDBABY AND HE’S NOT TELLING ANYONE!!!!!!!!

  23. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 4:16 pm #

    WTF, MCPO???

    We inquiring minds want to know!!

  24. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 4:31 pm #

    Carin’s fault.

    *psst*

    It’s a girl!!

  25. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Everyone go over and taunt Car in!

  26. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    And congrats, MCPO!

  27. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 4:37 pm #

    J’Ames – Thanks. herself and I are super excited!

  28. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

    My mom had 3 boys. She was VERY excited when she got a granddaughter. It was the 4th, so she was wondering if she’d EVER get one.

  29. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

    YAY!!!!

    Congrats, MCPO. She will have you wrapped around her little finger three months ago 😉

  30. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 4:42 pm #

    Debra Grace Kyle is the current name choice.

  31. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 4:46 pm #

    Grace is popular these days.

  32. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 4:47 pm #

    Grace is #1 son’s maternal grandmother.

  33. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 4:49 pm #

    2 relatives of mine are Grace. One first name, one middle name.

  34. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 4:56 pm #

    I have a cousin named Maria de las Gracias. Another one is named Yanira de los Angeles.

    No, she’s not from California.

  35. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 5:03 pm #

    I was friends with a young woman whose parents, unfortunately, named her, Delores DelaCruz.

  36. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX January 30, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    Chief, you are SOOOOO hosed!!!!!!

    That little sweetie-pie is gonna have you eating out of her hand from the moment you first lay eyes on her…..

    I’m so thrilled for you guys!
    (Beautiful name, BTW)

  37. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 5:17 pm #

    Chief, Congrats!!!! And best wishes for the little one!

  38. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 5:20 pm #

    So I had a nice sit down with a VP of Mega-bank today. He had in his office call lil’ Miss Hot Check and under his instructions and laws of the city of Dallas, I told her answering machine she best call him quick or enjoy being arrested, and she will be.
    Bail will be whatever the judge sets it at, plus full payment to me, or she stays in jail.

    This is gonna be sooooo much fun!!!!

  39. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 5:21 pm #

    Well, that was quick, SD! Nice work!

  40. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 5:31 pm #

    Niiiice, SD!!!

    *gets more popcorn*

  41. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

    Hopefully I’ll be notified the minute she’s arrested so I can visit her in jail and ask the question, “How’s that shit workin’ out for ya now?”

  42. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 5:48 pm #

    Oh, in order to get a sit down with the southwest VP for Mega-bank? Walk into their HQ and ask, which one of you assholes are in charge here?
    True story.

  43. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 5:51 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    And this is why we love Dick.

    Yeah, I said it.

  44. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 6:14 pm #

    And believe it or not, I got in a full day at work today. I know this cause my body hates me now.

  45. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX January 30, 2012 at 6:17 pm #

    Don’t.Mess.With.Dick.

  46. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 6:25 pm #

    Sorry to hear you are in pain, Dick.

    Is the tequila helping yet?

  47. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 6:54 pm #

    Quite well, thank you. Plus a new episode of Top Gear’s out tonight, so I’m a happy camper.

  48. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 6:56 pm #

    Yay for tequila and fast cars!

  49. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 7:03 pm #

    I still haven’t had a drink. . . not sure why.

  50. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 7:06 pm #

    You, Master Chief, are behind. Get the lead out!

  51. TerribleTroy January 30, 2012 at 7:07 pm #

    So does this mean Dick is going to get a happy ending?

  52. TerribleTroy January 30, 2012 at 7:08 pm #

    I mean really…who doesn’t like a happy ending?

  53. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 7:08 pm #

    SD – I mean, I haven’t had a drink since the 14th of this month!

  54. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 7:09 pm #

    I haven’t had a drink since the 14th of this month!

    😯

  55. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 7:10 pm #

    So does this mean Dick is going to get a happy ending?

    You betcha 😉

  56. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 7:34 pm #

    I mean, I haven’t had a drink since the 14th of this month!

    Yours or the doc’s decision? Fuck…doesn’t matter.

    Troy, that bitch picked the wrong brick layer to write a bad check to. I’m gonna fuck her life up.

  57. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 7:51 pm #

    SD – Trying to drop a few pounds before bikini season. We’re not going to Florida this winter, so I have to do something to keep the weight off.

  58. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 9:50 pm #

    Chief, that makes sense. Hope ya got that girlish figure you’re looking for.

    Okay, so the phrase that makes assholes moves seems to be, “Bitch, I’m gonna have your ass arrested”.
    Go fucking figure. She suddenly (yeah) called me tonight saying I could cash her check at any point. We’ll see tomorrow.
    Side note: She shit her pants when I told her where she worked and what her job title was. (that pesky internet…)
    Fuck her. I explained if I take it to her bank tomorrow, and it doesn’t cash, her ass belongs to me, and they don’t call me Big Dick for nothin’.

  59. Jay in Ames January 30, 2012 at 10:07 pm #

    Amazing how motivated she is, now.

  60. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 10:08 pm #

    Fear…great motivinator.

  61. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 10:09 pm #

    I’m a complete asshole when it comes to my money or pussy. Call me, finicky.

  62. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 10:12 pm #

    I seriously doubt the second, SD.

  63. Stinky's Dad January 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm #

    Don’t for even a second.

  64. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 10:16 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Ok, I won’t 😀

  65. LC Aggie Sith January 30, 2012 at 11:08 pm #

    Ok, poat ready for the AM.

    Y’all have a goodnight!

  66. MCPO Airdale January 30, 2012 at 11:10 pm #

    ‘Night, Aggie!

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