Military Rules by Branch of Service

21 Dec

***Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a ‘4.’
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover and concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

***Navy SEALS Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

***US Army Rangers Rules:
1. Walk 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving..
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from ‘Higher’ to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

***US Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.

***US Air Force Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what’s on HBO.
4. Ask ‘What is a gunfight?’
5. Request more funding from Congress with a ‘killer’ Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine ”key’ Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets ‘strategic’ and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.

***US Navy Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines and Seals

Thank you for your service, guys and gals! You are better people than I!

42 Responses to “Military Rules by Branch of Service”

  1. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 9:52 am #

    I had to laugh at the Air Force, because it’s so true 😀


  2. clintbird December 21, 2011 at 9:58 am #

    Likee de poatee.

  3. Jay in Ames December 21, 2011 at 10:00 am #

    Here goes Glenn Beck, again, bashing Newt: TheBlaze: Gingrich Reportedly Tells Gay Iowan Voter He’s Better Off Supporting Obama

    Gingrich, who was campaigning in Oskaloosa, Iowa, allegedly made this assertion to Scott Arnold, an associate professor of writing at William Penn University. This response reportedly came after Arnold asked Gingrich how he planned to engage with gay Americans, should he assume the presidency.

    In the past, Gingrich has made his opposition to homosexuality known. “I believe that marriage is between a man and woman. It has been for all of recorded history and I think this is a temporary aberration that will dissipate,” he said back in September. “I think that it is just fundamentally goes against everything we know.”

    How is opposition to gay marriage classified as opposition to homosexuality? Guess twisting the facts isn’t just for progressives anymore, huh Glenn?

    Plus, what’s wrong with Gingrich’s answer? It’s obviously a setup question, and he answered it honestly.

  4. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    I see nothing wrong in how he answered the question. And being against gay marriage is not the same as being against homosexuality.

    This is way out of left field. I can’t believe Beck would stoop so low.

  5. terribletroyleTroy December 21, 2011 at 10:20 am #

    Im neither pro nor con Newt (or any of the other talking heads in the race)

    “How do you plan on engaging the gay community”?

    Super PC Answer. “The same freaking way I “engage” any other human being, whether they be male,female, hetero sexual, gay, etc. Thats how I plan on engaging the gay community.”

    But the real subtle question being asked is, “What do you have for the gay community.” It is an effort to determine what “they” stand to receive for their supposed “support.”

    In that context Newt’s response is dead on (allow my translation to real world speak)

    I dont have shit for you Homer, you want shit, go see Obama.

    **Somewhere in the Air Force one there needs to be added

    “Check and see if auto pilot is still on in the drone.”

  6. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 10:22 am #

    Nice addendum, Troy 😀

    But you’re right on Newt.

  7. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 21, 2011 at 10:24 am #

    The TIFWs are off to visit family in the boonies.
    Hopefully, we can get internet service there (I think we can), but if not, have a Merry Christmas, all!

    Remember, if you need a Christmas music fix, there’s a new batch up every day at my place – there’s some really nice stuff coming up in the next few days.

    Love to all of you miscreants and reprobates – thanks for putting up with me this year!

    We’ll see ya in a few hours, Aggie –

  8. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 10:24 am #

    YAY!!! See you soon Teresa!! 😀

  9. Jay in Ames December 21, 2011 at 10:44 am #

    They are stirring up the fear of vote compromising again. This time, its BigGovernment: Will ‘Anonymous’ Hack the Iowa Caucuses?

    This is my comment, however it was about the actual election, not the Caucus:

    After working in the Iowa elections, the votes are indeed tabulated, and results posted at each precinct before they are sent in. GOP and Democrat observers sign off on the totals, and you are welcome to stay and hear the outcomes in each precinct. That’s how the totals are known before the official results are broadcast.

    It’s a pretty good system, and if it’s compromised, you still have the hand filled out ballots to go back to. You can even feed the machines again.

    Lots of worry about nothing.

    It’s even more archaic (read: secure) in the Caucuses. It’s all run by phone.

  10. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 10:54 am #

    I swear, fear is all politics has sometimes.

  11. terribletroyleTroy December 21, 2011 at 10:56 am #

    There’s miscreants and reprobates here? I gotta go. My probation officer told me I had to stay away from miscreants and reprobates……

  12. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 11:29 am #

    Eh, what he doesn’t know, Troy… 😉

  13. Jay in Ames December 21, 2011 at 12:17 pm #

    *tap tap tap

  14. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 21, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    There’s miscreants and reprobates here? I gotta go. My probation officer told me I had to stay away from miscreants and reprobates……

    So he doesn’t know about the Rotties, eh?

  15. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    So he doesn’t know about the Rotties, eh?

    HAHAHAHA!!! Troy’s busted!!

  16. Stinky's Dad December 21, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    The Ranger rules cracked me up cause they’re soooo true.

  17. Jay in Ames December 21, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    This is amazing — it’s a simple mathematical exercise that can predict your favorite movie.
    It must have been created by a real genius. Don’t know how it works, but it works every time!

    Be honest & don’t look at the movie list below till you’ve done the math!
    Okay, just humor me and do it!
    Try this test & find out what movie is your favorite.
    This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 18 movies you would enjoy the most.
    It really works, for MOST of us anyway!

    Movie Quiz:

    1. Pick a number from 1-9.

    2. Multiply by 3.

    3. Add 3.

    4. Multiply by 3 again.

    5. Now add the two digits of your answer together to find your predicted favorite movie in the list of 18 movies below:

    Movie List:
    1. Gone With the Wind
    2. E.T.
    3. Blazing Saddles
    4. Star Wars
    5. Forrest Gump
    6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
    7. Jaws
    8. Grease
    9. The Obama Farewell Speech of 2012
    10. Casablanca
    11. Jurassic Park
    12. Shrek
    13. Pirates of the Caribbean
    14. Titanic
    15. Raiders of the Lost Ark
    16. Home Alone
    17. Mrs. Doubtfire

    Now, ain’t that something?

  18. MCPO Airdale December 21, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    J’Ames – I missed the part on the Navy one about sharing your bathroom with 132 of your closest friends, locating your bedroom under the active runway of a major airport, working 18 hours launching and recovering aircraft then, after 2 hours of sleep being awakened for either a General Quarters or Man Overboard drill, spending 44 days at sea and, when you finally hit a liberty port, spend the first 20 hours on Shore Patrol, breaking up fights and herding drunks back to the ship.

  19. Stinky's Dad December 21, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

    Yeah, but you still miss the hell out of it, Chief.

  20. Jay in Ames December 21, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

    Guess we’ll have to have an update poat!

    Good ones, Chief!

  21. terribletroyleTroy December 21, 2011 at 3:37 pm #

    Oh he knew about the Rotties…. I just told him I had “evolved.”


  22. clintbird December 21, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    You’ll likee:

  23. clintbird December 21, 2011 at 3:51 pm #

    And you may even surprise yourself with who you should actually support!

  24. clintbird December 21, 2011 at 4:05 pm #

    Outstanding quiz, Jay. I stole it.

  25. Jay in Ames December 21, 2011 at 4:22 pm #

    Hehe, I got a chuckle out of it, myself.

  26. roamingfirehydrant December 21, 2011 at 8:14 pm #

    How the hell did I end up with Ron Paul as my #2 choice?

    **aims gun with caliber beginning with “4” at computer**

  27. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

    Good evening. I see I missed SD again.

    That sucks monkey balls.

  28. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

    So, I got to meet Teresa and her darling Rebecca, and hubby. Poor little thing….Rebecca has a doozie of a cut above her right eye, but was very happy to sit and meet my dogs.

    I can’t wait to meet them again, hopefully for longer!

  29. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 8:41 pm #

    *wonders who is ready for Christmas*

  30. roamingfirehydrant December 21, 2011 at 8:44 pm #

    Aggie, I need to buy two more gifts, then I’m done. They are for a get-together New Year’s Eve, so I’m not sweating it. Now, baking on the other hand…

  31. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 8:50 pm #

    I’m still baking, too!

    I need one last gift for Son, but he is so hard to get anything for….

  32. roamingfirehydrant December 21, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    Mr. RFH has built a shadowbox for all of Rocketboy’s Science Olympiad medals. Except one is missing…

  33. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

    Oh dear. I hope y’all find it.

    *crosses fingers*

  34. Stinky's Dad December 21, 2011 at 9:27 pm #

    How the hell did I end up with Ron Paul as my #2 choice?

    I got him as number one, so go figure…
    Still here, Aggie!

  35. roamingfirehydrant December 21, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    How’s Stinky doing, SD?

  36. LC Aggie Sith December 21, 2011 at 10:02 pm #


    I hop Stinky gets his card before next Easter.

  37. Jay in Ames December 21, 2011 at 10:49 pm #

    I feel your pain, roamy, he was my #2 also. Worse, Romney is my #1!

    Although, that is based on his statements, not what he’ll actually do in office. He’s doing the hard run to the right, at this moment. I’m cringing for when the run back to the (left) center is coming.

  38. roamingfirehydrant December 22, 2011 at 12:02 am #

    Jay, at least Obama was on the bottom of the heap. Huntsman was 2nd to last.

  39. Jay in Ames December 22, 2011 at 12:04 am #

    heh, mine too. Huntsman sure is conservative, isn’t he?

  40. douglas December 22, 2011 at 2:12 am #

    Marines are a lot more discerning ,and a little more prolific in ammo usage. You are taught in contact excercises, to do 2/3 shots, so it’s 5 per point targets. PAPAP! snap aim PAPAPAPAP. Just saying, don’t know about army, but my oldest best friend was taking part in all of the balkan BS of the mid 90’s and he never discharged his weapon, but I have little doubt he could kill a Fucker.

    Navy, gets so little respect, I was Marine, so yeah, I picked on them with the common jokes “Thanks for the Ride.” and shit like that, but my uncle did 26 in the Navy, he spent his first 12 years, in Blue Navy, away from his family between 6 and 9 months afloat away each year.

    AF. somewhat credible, however, while the AF guys are in AC, they are close to the lines. My brother saw more shit than I ever did, and I volunteered for all 17 deployments I was elligeble for under clinton, and he was a DataBase guy, he helped establish MOMMS in the AF, but there was an alarm, and bro ran to his position, and saw a deserter stupidly hit a mine rather than ask to be taken in. during the first iraq war.

    Another Cousin is coming up on 30 i the AF, I think he holds a command billet so he might make it past 30, and he ran a number of closed operations.

    All Branches serve, I think the BEST description of the services was by a civvy, I can’t recall who it was. “They all serve, they all risk, but it’s the Marines who keep the Morality of that service. It’s they who no matter what will protect and defend eachother, even those who aren’t Marines.” Something like that.

    I think that’s probably the best description of Marines. We don’t Serve the Marine Corps. We ARE Marines. or as I say, “I am Marine.”

  41. douglas December 22, 2011 at 2:16 am #

    And Perry is still the best.

  42. roamingfirehydrant December 22, 2011 at 8:48 am #

    New poat!

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