Monday Lesson in Civilities

12 Dec

Like we don’t already know.

Numbers 9 and 11 are standards here.

Enjoy your day!! πŸ™‚

60 Responses to “Monday Lesson in Civilities”

  1. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 8:38 am #

    I demand my wakey wakey, Carin.

  2. Jay in Ames December 12, 2011 at 9:03 am #

    Waaa … I wanna go. I’m sure that would be MUCH more fun than dealing with my various family. My mom and sister are currently not speaking, due to a fight they had at MY b-day dinner.

    That is just epic.

    Just think of the fun if you could shoot AT your family, sometimes. Just a leg shot, nothing mortal.

  3. Jay in Ames December 12, 2011 at 9:04 am #

    Next poat in the obvious series, aggie is gonna teach Democrats how to spend tax dollars.

  4. Car in December 12, 2011 at 9:12 am #

    wakey wakey

  5. Car in December 12, 2011 at 9:14 am #

    I think the encouragement one should say “Keep fucking that chicken.”

  6. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 9:21 am #

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Carin can always improve on things.

    Yes, J’Ames, shooting to wound is preferable when dealing with families. Once they heal, you can do it over again.

  7. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 9:31 am #

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
    This chart will really come in handy, should I ever break my self-imposed rule….
    (5 seconds after that, my mother will wash my mouth out with soap)

    OK, here it is – the post I put off as long as I could:
    For Bev: My Advent Calendar of Music – Day #12: Songs from a Shared Childhood: http://t.co/lGoulSTw

    I woke up this morning and decided it’s a “jammie” day (can’t remember the last time I had one of those…..)

  8. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 9:40 am #

    Teresa, it was lovely. I’m still crying….

  9. clintbird December 12, 2011 at 9:42 am #

    I haz a code n my nodze.

  10. TerribleTroy December 12, 2011 at 9:44 am #

    # 21 should read “fuckin aye”

    DOG says “They left out “mischief”. As in “Hey, lets go next door and fuck the poodle, after we eat their cat.”

  11. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    HA!!! DOG is in a class by himself.

    *gives CB a hankie and some chicken soup*

  12. Jay in Ames December 12, 2011 at 10:29 am #

    One thing to clear that nose, cb: lots and lots of spicy food. Mexican works, but Hunan or Szechuan works good, too!

  13. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 10:32 am #

    It should. It destroys every single sinus cavity…

  14. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 11:57 am #

    *puts a big rawhide chew under Troy’s tree for the puppeh*

    I’m just going to pretend that the neighbor’s cat is an ugly, scrawny thing with a terrible disposition who deserves to get eaten.

    Unlike my precious fuzzy woobzies, who would probably kick the ass of any dog who tried to mess with them….

  15. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 11:58 am #

    Teresa, it was lovely. I’m still crying….

    Thanks.

    Yeah, you and my Mom – she was doing fine this morning “Until I read your blog….”

    Great – I made my mother cry…. πŸ˜›

  16. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm #

    1. Good Chart, but I know the Peasant Nation could author a better one, kudos to Car in for getting started on that.

    2. I slipped and banged my left cheek on the stairwell here at work on Friday, tattooed myself BUTT good, and yet it wasn’t until this morning that it really started to hurt…ALOT, and I have a lump the size of an orange in my cheek.

    3. Driving to work this morning, I was listening to clips of the Blamer-in-Chief and a horrible thought occurred to me: He is still really young, so the odds are that the Press will still be going to his useless commie ass for soundbites for decades. Just the challenge to add to the one the pastor threw out yesterday when he was talking about Paul being the model for learning “contentment”.

    I guess if it were easy, everyone would be doing it, but still….

  17. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 12, 2011 at 12:02 pm #

    Troy needs to get DOG his own account.

  18. Car in December 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    That is a horrible thought, BiW. Cripes.

  19. Car in December 12, 2011 at 12:59 pm #

    Greetings – How the fuck are you?
    Parting words – Get the fuck out!
    Amazement – Get the fuck out!
    Activity recommendations – go take a flying fuck at the moon

    Ok, I’ve got christmas cards to write. Stop distracting me.

  20. Jay in Ames December 12, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Keep dropping f bombs, Car in. Maybe one will slip in a Christmas card!

  21. clintbird December 12, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    If Obama operated an ice cream shop, would his signature treat be called a “Stutteringclusterfuckcycle?”

  22. Car in December 12, 2011 at 1:59 pm #

    Holiday greeting – Merry Christmas and Happy fucking New Year.

    I could slip that into grandpa’s card.

  23. MCPO Airdale December 12, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

    It was said that the Machinist Mate Chief on PT-109 once stuck his head out of the hatch and told the skipper that; “The fucking fucker’s fucked sir!”. Kennedy said the best part was that he knew exactly what the Chief meant.

  24. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 12, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

    I was watching “We Were Soldiers” this weekend, and when the Seargent-Major was a shit to the guy who greeted him every morning, I just laughed and wondered if the Chief gave the men under him that kind of grief.

  25. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 4:15 pm #

    So, went to volunteer my talent to the scrapbook ladies and made a few cards today for seniors in nursing homes.

    Tomorrow I will make some of the little ornaments, and Wednesday I will make some gifts.

    I live for this fucking stuff.

  26. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 12, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    Aggs, that’s fucking great!

    It’s nice when the fucking old folks have visitors, especially this time of the fucking year when the rest of the fucking world doesn’t give them a second fucking thought.

    I’m fucking proud to know such a wonderful fucking human being.

    (If we keep this up, maybe Scorsese will sue us for copyfuckingright infuckingfringement.)

  27. MCPO Airdale December 12, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    wondered if the Chief gave the men under him that kind of grief.

    Only junior officers.

  28. Jay in Ames December 12, 2011 at 4:36 pm #

    Since the topic is fuck, does that mean TiFW has to drop an f bomb to stay on topic?

  29. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

    Fuckin’ A, J’Ames.

    BisW, you fucking win the fucking comments.

  30. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 4:43 pm #

    Oh great – another one of those fornicating threads.
    (It starts with an “f”, Jay….) πŸ˜›

  31. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

    But it’s not the same!!! WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

    I think I’ll just drop a couple of these, instead:
    http://is.gd/P2YXRz

  33. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    But it’s not the same!!! WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

    “Mess not with the (almost) engineer….”

  34. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

    I think I’ll just drop a couple of these, instead

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

    I mean, fucking HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  35. Jay in Ames December 12, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    That is NOT an F bomb!

    Wait…

    That is NOT a fucking F bomb!

    I thought engineers were exact and precise. To be so far off topic, well that’s just shameful to the profession.

  36. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    And I did buy this for DD#2 for Christmas (she will NOT be allowed to open it in front of or show it to the other relatives, but DD#3 assures me that she will love it):
    http://is.gd/lSgjYv

  37. MCPO Airdale December 12, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

  38. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    MCPO wins the fucking videos.

    I did buy this for DD#2 for Christmas

    Fucking HO HO HO!!!

  39. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

    I thought engineers were exact and precise.

    I believe I was both – you wanted an “f” bomb.
    You got a word that started with “f”.
    And a picture of a bomb with the letter “f” attached to it.
    You got precisely and exactly WHAT YOU ASKED FOR.
    And not one, but TWO different options.

    It’s not MY fault you weren’t more specific….

  40. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 4:56 pm #

    I want Teresa to type the word “FUCK” here on this comment thread, using whichever laptop or PC she is currently at, or smart phone should that be the case.

  41. MCPO Airdale December 12, 2011 at 4:57 pm #

    Cee Lo Green for the fucking win!

  42. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

    That is NOT a f***ing F bomb!

    Oh, if only I knew how to use Photoshop – I’d show you “exact” and “precise”, corn boy….

  43. MCPO Airdale December 12, 2011 at 5:08 pm #

    Well, this thread is fucking dieing!

  44. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 5:08 pm #

    I want Teresa to type the word β€œF***” here on this comment thread, using whichever laptop or PC she is currently at, or smart phone should that be the case.

    *sigh*
    Fine.

    01000110
    01010101
    01000011
    01001011

    Happy now?

  45. MCPO Airdale December 12, 2011 at 5:17 pm #

    At least she didn’t use the fucking number substitution code!

  46. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 5:28 pm #

    Fucking hell…

    ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!! DO YOU SPEAK IT??

    /Samuel L. Jackson

    πŸ˜€

  47. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 5:37 pm #

    LOL!!!

  48. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 5:40 pm #

    It had to be done πŸ˜‰

  49. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 12, 2011 at 6:12 pm #

    “On Christmas Night, all Christians sing…”

    (Couldn’t find a place for this one this year….)

  50. MCPO Airdale December 12, 2011 at 8:12 pm #

    Just found a cool Santa & Mrs. Claus from the 50s that belonged to my parents. . . sending it along to #1 son!

  51. TerribleTroy December 12, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    Hold on here! When did this become a fucking contest? I mean motherfuck me to tears! If I knew this was a fucking contest, I would have brought out the big fucking guns. Now Im just fucking fucked up beyond all recognition. I feel like a fucking loser and I will have to give more fucking money to my fucking therapist. Thanks a fucking lot.

    What the fuck is this world coming to?

    PS. Dog says he doesnt fucking care, he’s still going to fuck the Poodle and eat the cat.

    PPS. Dog has returned, I dont see the Poodle but the Cat is walking awfully fucking funny…BBL…the neighbor is pounding on my door

  52. TerribleTroy December 12, 2011 at 8:48 pm #

    Well that was a interesting conversation with the neighbor

    Me: What the fuck do YOU want?
    Neighbor: Your fucking Dog is a viscous animal!
    Me: Yeah, so, what else is fucking new?
    Neighbor: When I got home I found a large red puddle of blood mixed with poodle hair and your dog was fucking my cat in the alley.
    Me: I guess my dog likes fucking pussy and eating french cuisine.
    Neighbor: This cant keep fucking happening!
    Me: Well maybe if you didn’t keep faggy dogs and kept your pussy on a leash this wouldn’t happen.
    Neighbor: I’m calling animal control!
    Me: I wouldn’t fucking do that if I were you.
    Neighbor: Why?
    Me: Cause last time Animal Control was here Dog maimed 3 of the responders and ran into the woods. They never did catch him.
    Neighbor: Well Im calling them anyway.
    Me: Do whatever the fuck you want. But give me a couple of minutes to get out my vid cam.
    Neighbor: What? Why?
    Me: Cause this time I’m going to video tape the animal control people getting their asses chewed up & put in on fucking youtube.
    Neighbor: Im going to fucking sue you!
    Me: Go ahead. But in the meantime BEWARE OF THE FUCKING DOG! NOW GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN!

  53. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 8:48 pm #

    *takes trophy from BisW*

    *gives trophy to Troy*

    Make sure DOG doesn’t eat it.

  54. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 8:56 pm #

    I’m still laughing here πŸ˜†

  55. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 12, 2011 at 10:13 pm #

    I feel like a fucking loser and I will have to give more fucking money to my fucking therapist. Thanks a fucking lot.

    Fucking suck it up, you fucking buttercup. Therapy is for fucking thumbsucking fucking pussies who can’t get in to their fucking cars and put some fucking sonicfuckingtherapy on the fucking stereo. If twenty fucking minutes of your favorite fucking middle fucking finger music can’t fucking set you straight, then you are a fucking hopeless piece of fucking trash.

    Fuck your fucking whining to pieces.

  56. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 12, 2011 at 10:16 pm #

    And DOG has the right attitude for this place.

  57. LC Aggie Sith December 12, 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    DOG needs his own avatar and stuff.

  58. TerribleTroy December 12, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    He wont eat the Trophy Ags…..least not anytime soon.

    He’s too busy fucking it. Occasionally he says “This one is for the BisW” on the downstroke.

  59. LC Fmwoods01 December 12, 2011 at 11:17 pm #

    Well FUCK me tears…..welcome back DOG !!!!!

  60. Jay in Ames December 12, 2011 at 11:25 pm #

    There’s a poat scheduled for the morning.

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