The Number Two Reason I Do Not Carry Electric Cords in My Pockets

1 Dec

The number one reason? I would be too tempted to garrotte the hell out of every stupid motherfucker at the grocery store. I’m pretty sure the headline would read, “Mother Snaps: Garrottes Seventeen People in the Dairy Aisle”.

That, or “Check-Out Lines at Local Grocery Store Run Smoothly and Short After Psychotic Incident”. It’s a toss up.

61 Responses to “The Number Two Reason I Do Not Carry Electric Cords in My Pockets”

  1. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 8:52 am #

    Is this an awesome poat or what??

    Don’t answer.

    GOOD MORNING!!!

  2. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 9:03 am #

    I have always wondered who ties those knots in the headphones. Huh.

  3. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 9:03 am #

    It’s your POCKETS, J’Ames. Now you know.

  4. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 9:06 am #

    Whew, done with H&B’s Girlie Drink of the Week. Now I need to do Sithy….

  5. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 9:07 am #

    Now I need to do Sithy….

    Didn’t you forget something? Like a SYWM?

    You know what types hang around here. *eyes TiFW

  6. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 9:25 am #

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

    Fuuuuuuu……..

  7. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 1, 2011 at 9:38 am #

    You know what types hang around here. *eyes TiFW

    Yannow what they say, J’Ames – it’s always the quiet ones….. 😛

    In other news, for 25 Days of Christmas, I’m giving music….My Advent Calendar of Music – Day #1: Anticipation: http://wp.me/p1ipEz-UI

  8. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 9:45 am #

    Love the idea of Advent Music Calendar, Teresa 🙂

  9. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 1, 2011 at 11:28 am #

    I found the right time to go to Wally World this time of year.

    It was dead last night at 9 pm.

    I could have saved myself the effort though, since the Mrs. is taking back the birfday gifts I got her anyway. I’d have been better off just giving her the cash.

  10. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 1, 2011 at 11:29 am #

    The quiet ones and the redheads.

    They both get their freak on, but one is far more likely to kill you in your sleep.

  11. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 1, 2011 at 11:30 am #

    And I’d leave it alone anyway, Jay.

    I’m sure Sithy has no complaints about Aggs doing him. 😉

  12. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 11:43 am #

    omigod…

  13. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 11:45 am #

    one is far more likely to kill you in your sleep.

    Which is which??

  14. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 12:07 pm #

    Redheads are fun. The combination of spirit and crazy makes for a wild adventure.

  15. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 1, 2011 at 12:17 pm #

    Notes Aggs has never dated/known a redhead.

    Jay, you are correct. The one I dated was memorable and fun, in a tilt-a-whirl-on-crack kinda way.

  16. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 12:17 pm #

    You know what’s sad?

    That every time I look at J’Ames’ avatar I start to sing the theme from The Love Boat

  17. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 12:18 pm #

    Sadly, I never have, BisW.

    Maybe in my next life 😉

  18. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 12:19 pm #

    Were you biding your time, waiting for the ante to be raised in the meet Obama for dinner sweepstakes? Well, your wish has been granted!

    Michelle Obama info@barackobama.com

    to me
    Jay —

    I’m excited for the chance to meet you and whoever you decide to bring to dinner.

    I really hope you give this a shot.

    Give $3 or whatever you can to be automatically entered for you and a guest to have dinner with Barack and me:

    Enter now! Time’s a-wasting!

  19. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    Then again, Romney is doing the same thing, with his “A Bite with Mitt” promotion.

  20. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 12:21 pm #

    That every time I look at J’Ames’ avatar I start to sing the theme from The Love Boat…

    The Love Boat, soon will be making another run…

  21. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 1, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

    I don’t want to bite Barack or M’Chel.

    I don’t know that I could get all the necessary shots to deal with what they might give me.

  22. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere December 1, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

    Shut the heck up, Issac.

    I’m trying to steer the boat.

  23. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 12:29 pm #

    I’m trying to steer the boat.

    Here, have a daiquiri. I hear the captain of the Exxon Valdez was a fan.

  24. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    *takes daiquiri*

    *sends straight tequila*

    NOW steer the boat.

  25. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    Heh, I gave a shout-out to Dave’s Crap Tree post and Retired Geezer commented at Sithy 😀

    And yes, I did Sithy but good!!!

  26. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    Thanks for reminding me about “The Crap Tree”. Still one of my favorite posts.

  27. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

    *goes over to J’Ames’ blog*

    *sighs…*

  28. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

    What is the etiquette on that? Being reminded of a repost of a post on another blog, by yet another blog?

    How far does the bibliography drill down?

  29. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 1:03 pm #

    *takes back sigh*

    *comments happily*

  30. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 1:03 pm #

    How far does the bibliography drill down?

    42?

  31. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 1:05 pm #

    I posted Dave’s post at fecesbook, J’Ames. You should, too!!! Let’s go for a feceslanche!!

    Wait…what??

  32. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

    Ooooh…just head that the Sharon Bialek creature is facing eviction.

  33. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

    Hey! I’m owning the comments today!!!

  34. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 1:18 pm #

    OK, link on FaceMcHalliburtonChimpyThing.

  35. clintbird December 1, 2011 at 1:28 pm #

    I’ve dated several redheads in my life. They were all “fun.” It’s true what they say about them. Yes, true indeed!!!

  36. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    CB, I bet you have some good stories 😉

  37. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    Any interest in a college bowl pick em league here?

  38. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm #

    I may be, if you explain what that is….

  39. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    Pick the winners of all the bowl games, and rank them in importance. I usually enter one at Yahoo sports.

  40. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 1:57 pm #

    Oh, and Boehner can sit on Barney’s dick and spin.

  41. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 1, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

    Oh, and Boehner can sit on Barney’s dick and spin.

    Dammit, Aggie! I’m all out of eye bleach!

  42. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 1, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    You’ll never believe what I saw while looking for videos for my 25 Days of Christmas!

    You remember that picture that Dave in Texas took of his puppy, Moses, with him looking pitiful up in the camera?

    Well, it’s on a “montage” video! It’s gonna be featured in an upcoming post – don’t tell Dave, I want it to be a surprise…..

  43. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 2:54 pm #

    Awwww, I bet that will be sweet, Teresa.

    Oh, and use hot pokers to the retinas, if you’re out of eye bleach.

  44. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 3:02 pm #

    ok, it’s wrong, but after seeing aggie’s analogy, all I could think of was “Cheeto on a stick”

    *denounces self.

  45. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 3:06 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

  46. Jay in Ames December 1, 2011 at 3:31 pm #

    Snowing here, now…

  47. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 3:40 pm #

    *enjoys the sun’s rays and the 76* temperature*

  48. clintbird December 1, 2011 at 5:08 pm #

    UK Basketball on ESPN2 tonight. *Grin.*

  49. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 5:31 pm #

    Oh? Who are they up against, CB?

  50. clintbird December 1, 2011 at 5:35 pm #

    St. Johns, aggie, then North Carolina on Saturday.

  51. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

    So, an even game, then? Or terribly mismatched in UK’s favor?

  52. clintbird December 1, 2011 at 5:47 pm #

    UK is a 23 point favorite tonight. That might be a bit optimistic as UK is extremely young even if they are loaded with talent. Against NC, it will probably be a take your pick.

  53. clintbird December 1, 2011 at 5:47 pm #

    My daughter will be at both games. *grin.*

  54. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

    Oh, cool! Hope she has a lot of fun, CB 🙂

  55. clintbird December 1, 2011 at 6:01 pm #

    She will. She’s a huge UK basketball fan.

  56. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX December 1, 2011 at 8:49 pm #

    I’m an idiot – I was wondering why a British team would be broadcast on American TV….

    Wanna hear something pretty?

    They really shouldn’t let someone with ADD loose on YouTube/the Internet; I wander around for days…..

  57. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 8:54 pm #

    I was wondering why a British team would be broadcast on American TV….

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    I thought the same thing for a second 😉

  58. LC Aggie Sith December 1, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    That was a beautiful rendition, Teresa! I must see if The Priests have CDs…

  59. clintbird December 1, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    It was a very good basketball game, Aggie.

  60. clintbird December 1, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    Oh, and Aggie, you should go see Hugo, the 3D version.

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