Adventures With Aggie

6 Jun

Friday evening proved to be rather educational for me. My niece requested the honor of my presence at her Athena party. What is an Athena party, you ask? Well, it’s sort of like a Mary Kay party, but instead of make-up, you are invited to peruse sexual aids. No, there was no “testing” of any toys. But the *ahem* enhancing oils, yes. Though not by me. No sirree. No freakin’ way I was going to test that stuff on myself. OR ANYONE ELSE. Suffice it to say, I could not stop giggling. The consultant, or “goddess” started off with bath and body items, moved on to “enhancing” items, then came (SYWM!!) the sexual aids, which were divided by “helpers” (ropes, straps, omg), female toys (WTF? We are NOT in the pachyderm family!), male toys (gave a new meaning to “rings”), and finally, uh…. you know…. backdoor playthings.

I was in shock. The worst part was having my niece ask me what I was planning to buy. I said, my dignity. She laughed and said it was too late. So, I got a bottle of body lotion and a bottle of pheromone oil. What??

Enjoy the pics 😉

Gives new meaning to "bag o' dicks"

The truly funny part was seeing how many toys were purple 😉

New take on a "ring pop".

Needless to say, I learned a lot 😉

103 Responses to “Adventures With Aggie”

  1. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 12:14 pm #

    Vera nice, aggie. When’s the new “Testing” tab gonna show up?

  2. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 12:14 pm #

    And the spin begins: CBS”News”:
    Conservative website posts private pictures of Anthony Weiner, including one allegedly titled “Me and the pussys.”

    How long before Media Mutters runs with it? Perhaps after Boehlert gets out of the comments at BigGovernment.com

  3. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

    I will NEVER buy my kids ring pops again.

  4. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 12:21 pm #

    “Testing” tab

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Hey, that’s Carin’s purple dildo the hoor is holding, so maybe you should ask her 😉

  5. Jazz June 6, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

    I’m just going to ignore the proliferation of phalli around here today. A dick in a box is old news.

    A dick in a tweet, however….

  6. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 12:27 pm #

    Meh… I have all of those, and they still can’t hold a candle to my Three Piston, Gasoline Powered, Turbocharged Asshammer.

  7. Car in June 6, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    I just don’t know what to say.

  8. Jazz June 6, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    “Go, Briggs and Stratton!”?

  9. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 12:34 pm #

    This asshole needs his face tattooed with a ball bat, multiple times.
    http://is.gd/HXzggv

  10. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

    Hm…looks like Nazis also fled to Australia.

  11. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    Okay, I’m gonna grab a shower and then go visit PA.

  12. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    they still can’t hold a candle to my Three Piston, Gasoline Powered, Turbocharged Asshammer.

    Chalk this up under things I never wanted to know.

  13. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

    Shit!!!!

    They just had to rush PA into surgery for some sort of internal bleeding.

    I think this qualifies as a prayer request.

  14. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 12:48 pm #

    Oh, dear Lord…

    *begins to pray*

  15. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 12:48 pm #

    Update again: PA was talking with Sissy In Law Joyce when something went south and put her into a lot of pain.

    She’s lost a lot of blood, and the docs said this is very, very serious.
    I don’t know what else to tell you guys other than I’m grabbing that shower now and heading over to see how John is holding up.

  16. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 12:59 pm #

    Prayers going out right now. H2 has been updated (thanks roamy), so there will be a lot of prayers heading out of there, too.

  17. Car in June 6, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

    shit shit shit

    Prayers said already before I commented

  18. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

    Praying, too.

  19. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    I would think this is a risk in every surgery like the one she underwent. Sounds like she’s got some really good docs, and they will be able to fix it.

    At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

  20. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

    Please give my family’s best, love, and prayers to PA’s.

    She’s tough. She’ll kick this thing’s ass.

  21. GMLand June 6, 2011 at 1:21 pm #

    very busy day, but always time enough for a prayer.

  22. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    Update from Cathy:

    Prayers for PattyAnn.
    I tried to call John. He quickly said he’d call me right back.
    While waiting to hear back from him and looking for Joyce’s phone number, Joyce called ME.
    PATTY-ANN UPDATE:
    From the Operating Room. They found out that there was a weak spot in the wall of the arterial graft that was just placed last week (from the cadaver). They are repairing it as we speak.
    This is MUCH LESS of a CRISIS than any of the other surgeries that PattyAnn has been through up to now. She was doing very well this morning… improving in all ways… and should be just fine.
    Whew!
    Thanks for all prayers.
    I’ll be heading to the hospital sometime this afternoon.

  23. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    PattyAnn update:

    She had a pin-size hole in the cadaver artery in her leg. The surgeons had to undo some of the work they had done on her leg to find it, but they have sewn it up, and now PattyAnn has to heal all over again. Please keep the prayers coming.

  24. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 2:13 pm #

    Thanks Aggie, I updated H2, also.

  25. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    While not the best news, I’m glad it got downgraded from the crisis level earlier. Phew!

  26. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Yeah, but sucks she has to mend all over again.

    WE LOVE YOU, PATTYANN!!!!

  27. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 3:05 pm #

  28. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 3:14 pm #

    Think he’s going to announce his resignation??

    Yeah, me neither…

  29. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    He’d be stupid not to. Breitbart said he has more.

    Then again, resignation doesn’t prevent Breitbart from releasing it, anyway.

  30. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    Weiner IS stupid, though.

  31. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 6, 2011 at 3:37 pm #

    Weiner IS a stupid little prick, though.

    FTFY.

  32. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 3:40 pm #

    PATTYANN UPDATE!!!

    DOCS SAY SHE IS NOT RESPONDING WELL, AND THEY ARE UNABLE TO RAISE HER BLOOD PRESSURE. WORST CASE IS SHE MAY NOT SURVIVE THE NIGHT. PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR FRIEND, SINCE ANYTHING CAN STILL HAPPEN.

  33. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 3:48 pm #

    Gah, cmon Patty Ann!

    They are going to fix this.

  34. GMLand June 6, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

    Dear Lord…….

  35. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 6, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

    Prayers going out to PattyAnn and her family – she’s a tough cookie; if anyone can pull through this, it’s our PA…..

  36. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 6, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

    I planned on posting this D-Day thingie earlier, but now I feel kinda selfish for doing so:

    http://teresainfortworth.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/the-beginning-of-the-end/

  37. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 6, 2011 at 4:23 pm #

    Wow.

    I’m just so DAMN HAPPY to be paying the salary of a man who won’t be representing his district while he goes off to rehab for a truely awful character flaw.

  38. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    Not resigning, Aggie. Guess you’re right, he is stupid.

  39. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    Guys, just got back from the hospital. Docs said she’s not well at all and they do not expect her to survive the evening. When she went into surgery earlier, her heart stopped and they had to perform CPR on her for five minutes in order to get it restarted.
    Now they can’t get her blood pressure to stabilize. The docs exact words were, “We’ve done everything we know how to do and she’s not responding to any of the treatments. We do not expect her to survive the evening”.

    This isn’t a time for me to be there. It’s for family only and that’s exactly what I told them. I also gave them all a hug, my love, and my best wishes.
    They know you guys are thinking of them and Patty Ann and are very appreciative of your thoughts and prayers.

    John will keep me updated.

    Wish I had better news. I’m sorry.

  40. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    J’Ames, that was rather an easy call to make.

    Just walked back from church, and I’m in better spirits.

  41. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

  42. Jay in Ames June 6, 2011 at 4:56 pm #

    Horrible news, dick. I apologize for my ill placed post above, I should have refreshed.

    Praying they can reverse this, post haste!

  43. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

    Thank you Dick.

  44. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    Jay, don’t sweat it. This is a blog and timing is rarely perfect.

    Aggie, I’m sorry. Wish there was something I could do.

  45. GMLand June 6, 2011 at 5:08 pm #

    I am so sorry to see this report Dick.

  46. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 6, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    The sermon yesterday was on prayer.

    Why it is important, what it means to pray without ceasing, and when two or more are gathered in his name…how spiritual maturity is built through prayer, and how to understand the answers you get, and how it helps you to pray in accord with God.

    It seems so distant when our friend is in such distress.
    And still I lean not on my own understanding.

  47. Car in June 6, 2011 at 5:33 pm #

    Poor Patty Ann. She’s been through so much. Prayers. STupid ill timed pinhole.

    Prayers that she finds the strength, and prayers for her sweet family.

  48. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 6, 2011 at 5:33 pm #

    Was over at Ace’s, and missed the PA update.
    Dear Lord.

    Prayers still going up – it’s not over ’til it’s over.

  49. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 5:34 pm #

    Prayers from here, too. St. Jude, St. Rita.

  50. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

    Sox and Mrs. Sox send their prayers, too. Come on, PA, we’re all pulling for you!

  51. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

    I’m pretty sure that Patty Ann would want me to pour myself a nice toddy right about now.

    She’d also want you folks to have one as well.

  52. clintbird June 6, 2011 at 6:00 pm #

    **PA UPDATE via Text from Cathy**

    “At hospital now. BP up a tad. Stable. Not out of woods. Keep praying. Thanks.”

  53. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 6:00 pm #

    Prayers from here, too. St. Jude, St. Rita.

    St. John Maximovitch is my go-to guy. He’s workin’ it.

    I’m pretty sure that Patty Ann would want me to pour myself a nice toddy right about now.

    She’d also want you folks to have one as well.

    Well, I guess I’m marching in line, then.

  54. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 6, 2011 at 6:25 pm #

    Got a cold Cascade Sunset here, since I’m home today taking care of a sick wife. (And yes, I know that marrying me was my first clue, so SYWMs.)

  55. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 6:31 pm #

    St. John Maximovitch is my go-to guy

    Reading about him now. Cool.

  56. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 6:35 pm #

    St. John Maximovitch

    Good Lord….through the tears I read “John Malkovich”.

    And I haven’t had a drink yet.

  57. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 6:37 pm #

    St. John Maximovitch is my go-to guy

    Reading about him now. Cool.

    He’s the protector of my family. He was an odd duck, in many ways a “Fool for Christ”, though he doesn’t quite completely fit that moniker.

  58. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 6, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

    St. John Maximovitch is my go-to guy

    I don’t stop there. That’s what Jesus is for.

  59. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 6:45 pm #

    I don’t stop there. That’s what Jesus is for.

    Think of it as asking more friends to pray with you, especially those who don’t have to stop and fix dinner for their family but can keep up the prayers all the time.

  60. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 6:45 pm #

    Speaking of Fools for Christ, there is an absolutely outstanding Russian movie called “остров” that you can watch on YouBoob. English subtitles. Part one here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HehNS7zfnA4

    It’s outstanding. Fr. Anatoly is the epitome of that Saint type. The movie made a splash several years ago, and the actor that stars was a former Russian rock star.

  61. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 6:46 pm #

    Think of it as asking more friends to pray with you

    One of the few things Romans and Easterners agree about is our view of the Saints.

  62. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 6:53 pm #

    Amen, HM, amen.

  63. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 6:54 pm #

    My patron saint is St. Therese of Lisieux. I cannot do great things, but I can do small deeds with love.

    Another saint I like is St. Jerome. Curmudgeon is a good description of him, but he is the patron saint of librarians.

  64. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 6:57 pm #

    I chose Sophia of Thrace for Sophia. Frau’s is the traditional “Sophia”, so the daughter is named after the mother.

    http://www.antiochian.org/node/18725

  65. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 6, 2011 at 7:08 pm #

    Something to lighten the mood just a little bit –

    I just scared the stuffing out of DD#3.

    After receiving a phone call from the school, I went to her room and said (using my sternest “Mom” voice), “You are in so much trouble, young lady – you didn’t show up for 3rd period today!”

    She graduated last Thursday……

  66. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 6, 2011 at 7:10 pm #

    Comment by Cyn on June 6, 2011 7:07 pm

    **PA UPDATE VIA TEXT FROM CATHY**
    “Still stable. She responds to questions & opens eyes. She loved John’s leg massage & responded well to my prayer & scripture. Keep praying.”

  67. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

    I just scared the stuffing out of DD#3.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Thanks, Teresa 🙂

  68. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 7:15 pm #

    Herr, my BIL is Eastern Catholic. Some very cool traditions.

  69. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 7:17 pm #

    my BIL is Eastern Catholic

    Ruthenian, you mean? There’s enough in there to piss us both off.

    But yes, as I understand it they use the traditional St John Chrysostom Liturgy but are in communion with Rome. A bizarre mix but a bigger one than most people realize.

  70. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 6, 2011 at 7:20 pm #

    Broussard said she received the same photo of a man’s crotch on May 18 in an email from a man who she then believed was Weiner.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/rep-anthony-weiner-picture/story?id=13774605

    Hold on a second – the picture that was sent to that gal in Seattle was something Millimeter Peter sent to ALL of the ladies? She wasn’t “special”?

    He sent the same picture to this gal 9 days before he sent the picture to the “Comely Co-Ed”?

    Ooooh, buddy – you just THOUGHT you screwed up……

  71. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 7:22 pm #

    Hold on a second – the picture that was sent to that gal in Seattle was something Millimeter Peter sent to ALL of the ladies?

    Well how damned many pictures do you expect a guy to take?

    Oh and check your email.

  72. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 7:26 pm #

    I think BIL is Byzantine Catholic, but don’t hold me to that.

    Well how damned many pictures do you expect a guy to take?

    Oh and check your email.

    *thud*

  73. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 7:29 pm #

    There are actually as many ByzCaths in the US as there are Orthodox. It’s a dirty little secret we don’t talk about much.

  74. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 7:30 pm #

    Well how damned many pictures do you expect a guy to take?

    Oh and check your email.

    HEY!!! What about the rest of us??? 😀

  75. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX June 6, 2011 at 7:39 pm #

    Herr, is “Extreme Restraints” your new e-mail address?

    And sending me pictures of Male Chastity Devices? I didn’t think those came in “tuna can” size…..

  76. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 7:43 pm #

    When I was writing letters to BIL’s mom, she mentioned “Rusyn”.

    I like the piroshki and some soup that’s traditional on Christmas Eve with mushrooms.

  77. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 7:44 pm #

    Herr, is “Extreme Restraints” your new e-mail address?

    Neh, had that a while.

    And sending me pictures of Male Chastity Devices? I didn’t think those came in “tuna can” size…..

    Those are NOT CHEAP. Disregard the cat. He’s cool

  78. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 6, 2011 at 7:46 pm #

    Where is Michael with his PURE LUTHERN DOGMA™ when you need him?

  79. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 7:49 pm #

    she mentioned “Rusyn”.

    Yeah, Carpatho-Russians. They’re not Russians, but they are Slavs. They’re a distinct minority group from which the name Ruthenian comes.

  80. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 7:51 pm #

    PURE LUTHERN DOGMA™

    There’s an “E”? I always thought it was LUTHRN.

  81. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 7:52 pm #

    Piroshki beat green Jello anyday.

  82. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 7:52 pm #

    PURE LUTHERN DOGMA™

    There’s an “E”? I always thought it was LUTHRN.

    There’s a dogma?

    *ducks*

  83. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 7:53 pm #

    Piroshki beat green Jello anyday.

    There’s a couple people to get out of the way first, but Imma marry this woman one day.

  84. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 6, 2011 at 7:54 pm #

    Now, see, I thought there was a lot to remember when I was raised “Mormon Lite™”, but y’all are putting it to shame.

    Things are so much simpler now. Read the Bible. Go to church, sing, pray, get a good sermon, and go home to read and pray.

  85. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 7:58 pm #

    Imma marry this woman one day.

    Get in line. Wha..???

    There’s a dogma?

    Yeah, that was my second question.

  86. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 6, 2011 at 8:00 pm #

    Get in line. Wha..???

    Well look who just relized she was like L’oreal…

  87. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    Well look who just relized she was like L’oreal…

    Worth it? You betcha 😉

  88. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 8:11 pm #

    I grew up Southern Baptist, converted to Presbyterian for 3 years, wasn’t much of anything for a year, converted to Catholic, had Church of Christ, Methodist, and Jewish/Catholic roommates (she once confessed she ate bacon). I have Luthern, Episcopal, Congregationalist and Covenant Evangelical family members. I can get along with just about everyone, when you boil it down to Read the Bible. Go to church, sing, pray, get a good sermon, and go home to read and pray.

  89. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 6, 2011 at 8:14 pm #

    I grew up Southern Baptist,

    Wanna dance?

    *waggles eyebrows*

  90. GuyS June 6, 2011 at 8:18 pm #

    The difference between a Northern Baptist and a Southern Baptist……

    Northern Baptist says “There ain’t no Hell!”

    Southern Baptist says “The Hell there ain’t!!”

  91. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 8:19 pm #

    Frau and I both grew up Methodist. She more than me, as my father was an Army officer and was none too impressed with the hippy-dippy Church bullshit of the late 60s. So when we got married and had kids, it was “find a Church”.

    We remain convinced of the historical claims of the Orthodox Church, and wouldn’t dream of leaving now.

  92. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

    I just twittered a photo of my cock to Anthony’s wiener.

  93. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 8:25 pm #

    I grew up Southern Baptist,

    Wanna dance?

    *waggles eyebrows*

    hahahahahahahahaha

    There are three things Southern Baptists do not recognize. They do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world, they do not recognize the canon of saints, and they do not recognize each other in the liquor store.

  94. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    Herr, I am hearing more and more of Episcopalians and Anglicans moving to the Catholic and Orthodox Churches. Getting away from hippy-dippy bullshit, as you say.

  95. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    They do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world, they do not recognize the canon of saints, and they do not recognize each other in the liquor store.

    Hahaha. That’s funny even to me.

    I think I’ve said this before, but the difference between Catholics and Protestants is that Catholics think the Pope’s interpretation of Scripture is infallible. Protestants think everybody’s interpretation of Scripture is infallible, except for the Pope’s.

  96. roamingfirehydrant June 6, 2011 at 8:30 pm #

    Dick, I’m enjoying all the dKos and HuffPo people falling over themselves, trying to still believe Weiner was hacked somehow.

  97. Herr Morgenholz June 6, 2011 at 8:33 pm #

    Herr, I am hearing more and more of Episcopalians and Anglicans moving to the Catholic and Orthodox Churches.

    Yeah. It’s a growth challenge for us. In my parish, the daughter and son in law of the local conservative Anglican parish just walked in with their kids and said “We’re here”. We don’t have the resources of the RCs. Our parish is big, which means 200 people.

    Mainline Protestantism is dying fast, and people are going one way or the other: to the Traditional forms of Christianity or to the Evangelical side.

  98. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 8:34 pm #

    I just twittered a photo of my cock to Anthony’s wiener.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    *wishes she had Twitter*

  99. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    There are four things Southern Baptists do not recognize. They do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world, they do not recognize the canon of saints, and they do not recognize each other in the liquor, or sex and toy store.

    FIFY

  100. Just another Dick June 6, 2011 at 8:36 pm #

    Aggie, it took up two tweets.

  101. LC Aggie Sith June 6, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

    Aggie, it took up two tweets.

    omigod…

    *faints*

  102. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere June 6, 2011 at 8:42 pm #

    New Poat…’cause this one was starting to smell like Aggie’s Niece hadn’t washed those toys since they were last used…

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  1. Updates on PattyAnn « The H2: Roasting Your Weiners Since March 2009 - June 6, 2011

    […] June 6, 2011 at 12:48 pm Edit # They just had to rush PA into surgery for some sort of internal bleeding.I think this qualifies as […]

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