Today’s Billboard News

22 May

I bagged a RAPTOR in my front yard last evening. Let this be a crucial lesson in spelling out catastrophes to the masses. The shotgun made the skin totally worthless for a pair of cowboy boots, but in the end, it tasted just like chicken 😉

127 Responses to “Today’s Billboard News”

  1. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 9:00 am #

    WAKEY WAKEY, YA MONKEY BASTICHES!!!

  2. Dick May 22, 2011 at 9:10 am #

    Hey, Lady! Ya wanna keep it down!

  3. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 9:14 am #

    Howdy, Dick!

    Sorry about that. I was channelling Carin and got carried away 🙂

  4. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 10:20 am #

    I kilt it but good!!!

  5. xbradtc May 22, 2011 at 10:42 am #

    **pokes thread with a ten foot pole**

  6. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 10:48 am #

    Good morning, Brad!

    How’s tricks?

  7. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 11:29 am #

    The neighborhood asshole is out mowing his lawn and ruining my zen breakfast of home-made biscuits and gravy.

  8. Dick May 22, 2011 at 11:37 am #

    Wahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

    Offer him breakfast to stop.

  9. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 11:44 am #

    I think the little japanese guy across the street offered to kick his ass if he didn’t knock it off.

  10. USGA May 22, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    For all my friends in Texas…

  11. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    Angel, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger 🙂

  12. Dick May 22, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

    That’s in Houston which is pretty much on the other side of the planet.

  13. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    Amen, Dick.

    Hm…I used to live in Houston, and I have a glow about me….

    WINNING!!!

  14. Dick May 22, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    I was wondering what that was…

  15. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    Be grateful it isn’t bubonic plague.

    Of course, the fleas died…

  16. Dick May 22, 2011 at 12:30 pm #

    Fleas in the milf mine.

  17. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  18. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    Once again, chicken and rice soup and homemade bread rolls!!!

    *put on apron*

    *adjusts pearls*

  19. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm #

    Took the spousal unit and two genetic hostages to brunch. The oldest is going to graduate High School at 2 this afternoon. Only one more to go!! (And he is being homeschooled) So this is the last “state sponsored” edumicated kid!! BTW, he (Tom, the elder of the two) is already registered at the local junior college, and I expect he will be moving out o the house within the year. *Sigh* another tax deduction heads out the door! On the plus side, the food bill is going down considerably!!

  20. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

    Howdy, Guy!!

    It’s a double-edged sword, isn’t it??

  21. Dick May 22, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    Mmm… yeah, but what about the rest of the people?
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110522/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_yemen

  22. Dick May 22, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    Guy, trust me. The money you spend now will go up for a while.
    College, Insurance….

  23. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

    Hm….funny how the Obama admin is quiet on Yemen….

  24. Dick May 22, 2011 at 3:12 pm #

    *walks in. takes a look around and see nobody’s within miles. pulls out unit and pees on poat. leaves.*

  25. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    You bastich!!! 😆

  26. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 5:52 pm #

    I guess its time to do the laundry and the cooking ahead for the next couple of days. I have some chicken I have to grill….

  27. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

    Back from the graduation. He made it! His grandparents took him out to dinner, then they are heading to Chicago to let him stay with his father for a couple of days before returning him out here to the hinterlands (cause he has a job he has to show up for).

    Meanwhile, it looks like we have some thunderstorm activity just to the north and west of us. Could put off grilling the brats for a hour or so.

  28. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

    Soup came out great, you h8rs.

  29. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    Congrats, Guy!!!

    BisW, I would help you if I could!

  30. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 6:02 pm #

    (1) Grill the Chicken

    (2) Cook the sausage

    (3) Do several loads of laundry

    (4) Change the sparkplug on the weed whip

    (5) Use the damn weed whip to great effect

    (6) Chop up onions and celery, saute in special spices and oil

    (7) Add peas, slice grilled chicken, put in chicken rice

    (8) Cut up strawberries

  31. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 7:02 pm #

    Really?? I left to pick up kids and get dinner and no one has come by?? REALLY???

  32. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 7:10 pm #

    Dodging thunderstorms here with more to quickly follow. Plus trying to get a few brats grilled. The hilarity which follows should be interesting.

  33. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 22, 2011 at 7:22 pm #

    I’m always here.

    I just haven’t found any occaision worth rising to…

  34. Dick May 22, 2011 at 7:23 pm #

    Aggie, I came by and left a comment, but decided two minutes later it was uncalled for and deleted it.

    Nobody, including me, has the right to question Guy’s ability to grill in the rain.

  35. Dick May 22, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

    PHS, here ya go.
    Smokin’!
    http://is.gd/43KEnu

  36. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 7:29 pm #

    Guy, you should have a George Foreman indoor thingie.

  37. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 7:30 pm #

    PHS, here ya go.
    Smokin’!
    http://is.gd/43KEnu

    You installed cameras in the guest room? You bitch!!!

  38. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 7:30 pm #

    OMFG, Dick!!!!

    *scrubs eyes out with brillo pad and Drano*

  39. Dick May 22, 2011 at 7:32 pm #

    Aggie, everybody knows it’s dangerous to open my links, especially when it’s such an easy bank shot.

  40. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 7:32 pm #

    Guy, you should have a George Foreman indoor thingie.

    Yeah. Its enough like grilling to be an absolute and total tease.

  41. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 7:34 pm #

    Yes, you’re right, Dick. I should have known better….

  42. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 7:36 pm #

    Its enough like grilling to be an absolute and total tease.

    I never claimed to be perfect 😛

  43. Dick May 22, 2011 at 7:40 pm #

    I thought about buying one of those George Foreman grills, once.

  44. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 7:51 pm #

    The chick in that link is hot. And when I say hot, I mean 104 degrees,slick with sweat and smelling of patchouli.

  45. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 7:53 pm #

    *hurls*

  46. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 7:53 pm #

    I deeply apologize for my George Foreman grill faux pas 😉

  47. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 7:54 pm #

    Tonight’s film is either “The A-Team” or Hornblower:Duty

  48. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 7:55 pm #

    The Foreman is fine if you don’t have any other options.

  49. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 8:03 pm #

    I have to wait until I’m in bed to watch anything.

    Sigh….

  50. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 8:21 pm #

    Finished grilling just before all hell broke loose. quarter to golf ball sized hail, tree bending gusts … and two teenagers walking around the neighborhood selling chocolate bars.

  51. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 8:23 pm #

    It’s like I’m talking to myself. . .

    Gee, Wally! I don’t think Eddie Haskell is a nice boy.

  52. Dick May 22, 2011 at 8:23 pm #

    *looks over at five gallon pail of baby oil and plastic sheeting*

    I got nothin’ to do.

  53. Dick May 22, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

    Did her once, Chief and I’m trying to forget about it.

  54. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

    1. Teens made it home not too worse for wear. Now they have a tall tale in the making to tell their friends.

    2. Dick, missed your comment. But grilling special beer brats must be favorable to the gods as they let me finish before the gates of hell opened up. The poor bastards just 40 miles to our north are really getting hammered. But I think we are past the worst of it now.

  55. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    GuyS -Do you boil the brats in beer/onion before grilling them?

  56. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

    Just looked at the fetching (or is that felching…ahh what the hell, who am I to judge!) babe on the above link. We used to tie corn cobs to the end of fishing line and casted into bars hoping to pick up someone like that.

    Did you know you really can out run a biker if you have the proper incentive?

  57. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

    Good to hear the kids made it back to their home, Guy.

    Dick, you also need video.

  58. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

    MCPO they came pre beerified! Just thaw, grill, and eat.

  59. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 8:28 pm #

    I have to wait until I’m in bed to watch anything.

    Must not comment.
    Must not comment.
    Must not comment.
    Must not comment.
    Must not comment.
    Must not comment.
    Must not comment.

  60. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    Ya know MCPO, it’s awful crowded here in the gutter, ya think we need to widen this puppy?

  61. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    We used to tie corn cobs to the end of fishing line and casted into bars hoping to pick up someone like that.

    HAHAHA! I got suspended from the NCO club for 30 days at RAF Mildenhall for that very same stunt.

  62. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 8:33 pm #

    Must not comment.

    Damn skippy.

  63. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    You were at Mildenhall??!! I was at NAS Kef back in 74-75 and tried to get orders there. Figured as long as I was overseas may as well try and get to England if I could. Ended up back stateside at NAS Moffett. (Which is where we did the corn cob trick at a bar not too far from the main gate in Mt. View.)

  64. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

    GuyS – Deployed to Kef in ’78. Had to divert to Mildenhall when Kinloss was socked in. Asked the detailer for orders and he said, “Sure, why not?” Great duty station, small group of Sailors and a bunch of hawt USAF chickies that thought “Crackerjacks” were very sessy.

  65. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 8:45 pm #

    I always had a thing for the english accent. Guess it was because we had a gal in my junior high who was from there. If I would have gotten those orders I might have been in some serious domestic situations.

  66. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 8:49 pm #

    GuyS – Living on the economy in England was a blast. I lived in Thetford around the corner from a great pub. Played league darts, drank Brit ale and dated some Honeys from Cambridge University (along with the USAF girls).

  67. Dick May 22, 2011 at 8:49 pm #

    Fuck a bunch of chasin’ dirtylegs and gettin’ booted from the NCO club, I wanna hear about pirates, buried treasure, and sea monsters.

  68. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

    Tonight’s rice n chicken rocks…that is all.

  69. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 9:08 pm #

    Dick, all our airdale stores start with … “There we were, at 30,000 ft, twin engines, one prop feathered, the other missing on at least two cylinders…”. The only bootie we had was if we were ferrying a USO show to the boondocks.

  70. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 9:12 pm #

    They had engines when you flew? Wow.

  71. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 9:17 pm #

    First plane I ever worked on was a converted DC3 (longer fuselage, bigger tail, larger engines… a prop job second to none!

  72. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 9:18 pm #

    I wanna hear about pirates, buried treasure, and sea monsters.

    Seconded.

  73. Dick May 22, 2011 at 9:22 pm #

    I turd it.

  74. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 9:22 pm #

    Only sea monster I have is a one-eyed wonder worm. Likes the shallows. Damn, now I am starting to channel PHSL.

  75. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  76. Dick May 22, 2011 at 9:26 pm #

    Guy, I could tell you about the time I jumped into another guy’s foxhole only to find out the hard way that he shit in it.
    It wasn’t like a waterhose was handy.

  77. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 9:30 pm #

    I hear tell there are no atheists in foxholes Dick, let me tell ya, when you are cruising along at about 10,000ft, have one engine go out, and the other dropping in rpms… no atheists up there either!

  78. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 9:33 pm #

    The atheists are all in the Obama Administration.

    Ask them how he’s doing healing the holes in their souls.

  79. Dick May 22, 2011 at 9:35 pm #

    I never did buy into the “no atheists in foxholes” saying.
    Too many crazies in the infantry.

  80. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

    Not organized religious types Dick, just a lot of “Oh dear God, why am I here, and why are they shooting, shelling, causing my airoplane to descend rapidly outta the sky…kinda thing.

  81. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm #

    Sweet old girl. . .

    http://fwd4.me/023R

  82. Dick May 22, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    What is that critter, Chief?

  83. Dick May 22, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    Guy, yep, I heard plenty of that.

  84. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

    Dick – C-131 Convair Samaritan.

  85. Dick May 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

    They claimed it was retired in ’90, but I never saw the first one. Of course, I wasn’t looking or hanging out at navy bases that often either.

  86. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 9:54 pm #

    I have a small quandary….

    It seems a friend of mine who is a neighbor, and who knows that I blog at H&B, let the cat out of the bag to other FB friends, in particular the mother of my son’s best friend, the girl that was forbidden to speak to him due to the conflicts with the boyfriend.

    And I’m afraid my blogging at H&B may prove to be the last straw where she is concerned. I’m not sure how to handle this.

  87. Dick May 22, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

    And you always have to remember two things. Outsiders will never in a million years get our humor or politics, and two, crossing your net persona with the real you can be not real good sometimes.

  88. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 9:59 pm #

    (1) Feel free to invite the “friend” to wipe their ass with sandpaper, and rinse with vinegar.

    (2) The girl’s parents do have the final authority over who she associates with.

    (3) Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck.

  89. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 10:01 pm #

    Dick is speaking truth. It cost Kim DuToit big time, if memory serves. Folks (and business types) tend to take a dim view of folks speaking their minds on the net. Especially if their point of view is fucked up different.

  90. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

    Outsiders will never in a million years get our humor or politics

    What’s to get, you juvenille hater?

  91. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

    Oh, and MCPO, that picture brought tears to my eyes!

  92. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 10:03 pm #

    I concur. Of course, I don’t really give a shit who likes my fucking opinion either.

  93. Dick May 22, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

    Myself as well, Chief. But Aggie’s probably in a bit different boat than we are.

  94. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 10:07 pm #

    Oh Crap! They’re asking for a link to Aggie’s blog on facechimp!!!

    Quick Aggie, make up a lame Mommy blog!!

  95. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

    Can’t hurt me either, being retired, and only part-time employed, and with friends in low places…not much they can do to me either.

  96. Dick May 22, 2011 at 10:13 pm #

    This is the part where I say, I fucking hate people.

  97. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 10:17 pm #

    Well, if I didn’t love conflict, then I wouldn’t make it part of my life with blogging, right?

  98. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    There are assholes everywhere. And we all have to deal with them, unfortunately everyday. But it’s nice to know there are islands from the storm where you don’t have to deal with shit like that. And this is one of those places.

  99. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    I have a small quandary….

    It seems a friend of mine who is a neighbor, and who knows that I blog at H&B, let the cat out of the bag to other FB friends, in particular the mother of my son’s best friend, the girl that was forbidden to speak to him due to the conflicts with the boyfriend.

    And I’m afraid my blogging at H&B may prove to be the last straw where she is concerned. I’m not sure how to handle this.

    This kind of shit would never happen at the Hostages.

    😆

  100. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 10:23 pm #

    I think I will activate my empty blog.

    I shall call it….

    SITHY THINGS 😀

  101. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 10:25 pm #

    This kind of shit would never happen at the Hostages.

    PLEASE do not go there. I may be forced to fly up to Sea-Tac with my machete in tow.

  102. Dick May 22, 2011 at 10:28 pm #

    Guy, I got to tell some Arab asshole to go fuck himself this morning on a business call. (that prick quickly found out who he didn’t want to hire)

  103. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 10:28 pm #

    What happened, Dick???

  104. Dick May 22, 2011 at 10:30 pm #

    I think I will activate my empty blog.

    I shall call it….

    SITHY THINGS 😀

    Good move.

  105. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

    Aggs,

    My honest advice for a response is this:

    There are parts of my life that I have kept private for specific reasons. If you really are a friend, then you can understand that not every communication I choose to make is meant for you, and if that content was something I wanted to share with you, I would have already done so. Please respect my wishes, and stop asking me to make public something that was perhaps never private, but certainly intended for a specific audience.

  106. Dick May 22, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

    Not much, Aggie. Some asshole called the other day and asked for a price. When I gave it to him he told me I was a thief and I told him to call somebody who gave a shit.

    This morning, the same asshole calls again, not realizing I’ve already placed him on my shit list.
    He found out really, really fast.

  107. Dick May 22, 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    BiW, your tongue is purtier than a $20 whore.

  108. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    Dick,

    Why do you hate the rock-worshipping man?

  109. Dick May 22, 2011 at 10:36 pm #

    Why do you hate the rock-worshipping man?

    I hate all men, BiW, not just those morons.

  110. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 10:38 pm #

    BiW, your tongue is purtier than a $20 whore.

    The $20 one is the one who wipes her hand off before giving you a handjob, right?

  111. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm #

    I hate all men, BiW, not just those morons.

    After all that we’ve shared?? Really? You?

    Why don’t you just call me cheap next time?

  112. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm #

    But I have a special place in my heart for the rock worshipers, used to work for those folks…never again. Government contracted work sucks sometimes…it really does!

  113. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 10:44 pm #

    BiW, your tongue is purtier than a $20 whore.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  114. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 10:49 pm #

    PLEASE do not go there. I may be forced to fly up to Sea-Tac with my machete in tow.

    That would be the best offer of a good time that I’ve had in weeks.

  115. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    That bad, BisW???

  116. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 10:52 pm #

    BiW – good advice.

  117. Dick May 22, 2011 at 10:52 pm #

    Gentlemen, I’m calling it an evening.
    Aggie, slay anyone who thinks they can judge you or barge into your personal life.
    Cast their lifeless bodies into the woods, and allow nature’s creatures to find nourishment among the carcasses.

    G’night!

  118. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 10:56 pm #

    Later, Dick.

  119. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 10:56 pm #

    You are funny, Dick… I don’t leave bodies. Have a goodnight, dear!

    *smooches*

  120. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 10:57 pm #

    Not much time for excitement with wound up children and being sick.

  121. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 22, 2011 at 10:59 pm #

    Never leave bodies. That’s what quicklime is for.

  122. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 11:06 pm #

    All this talk about 20 dollar whores is getting me a tad friskey, So on that note I will bid you all a good evening and a very good Monday to you all.

    Oh, and MCPO here is a pic of one of our C-117s it was taken a year after I left. But she was a good ol gal, and I still miss em.

    http://gmail.airliners.net/photo/USA—Navy/Douglas-C-117D/1903722/&sid=4900aef359c89a9136edcde07dc63549

  123. MCPO Airdale May 22, 2011 at 11:09 pm #

    GuyS – Had many a ride between Kenitra and Rota on a Goony that looked just like that.

  124. GuyS May 22, 2011 at 11:29 pm #

    I remember 171 (in the pic) and 920. We had another, but her number escapes me. Also had a C-118. Now all of them are history. Either in a boneyard somewhere, or have long since been sold as scrap.

    What was really something…all of them had airframes over 40 years old when we had them back in the mid 70’s. They really don’t make em like that anymore.

    And on that note. Good night to you all!

  125. LC Aggie Sith May 22, 2011 at 11:56 pm #

    G’night, Guy!

    I’m sorry you are still sick, BisW. I hope it passes soon.

  126. Dick May 23, 2011 at 8:34 am #

    New poat!

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