Peasants and Peasantettes, please welcome…

18 May

Your new idiotic author, Jay in Ames. Dick, who obviously had way too much to drink tonight, gave out permissions before passing out.

I’d like to thank Jose Cuervo Black for this opportunity!

I suppose I should give y’all an updated pic, since my self portrait in my avatar is a little dated.

Put it near the floor, it’s useful for scaring away rodents, and cockroaches. Crickets, you’re on your own, since I’m sure we’ll hear plenty of them on this here post.

Be nice, I’m new!

114 Responses to “Peasants and Peasantettes, please welcome…”

  1. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 9:54 pm #

    This poat reeks of incandescent WIN!!!

  2. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 9:54 pm #

    And that is the sweetest homecoming story ever, Dick.

  3. roamingfirehydrant May 18, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

    Woot!

  4. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:01 pm #

    I had a last minute McGuyver school project for the little one to do, so I high-tailed it to Hobby Lobby.

    Helped her with the project, finished two loads of laundry, talked my mom off the ledge about her house in PR, and managed to fix my sister’s faucet.

    Yay…

  5. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 10:04 pm #

    Hello, Dr Phil Vila Maytag Lady!

  6. Dick May 18, 2011 at 10:04 pm #

    God damn, Aggie, you were on fire and heading straight for planet Earth!

  7. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:04 pm #

    Oh sure…new poat, and the poat writer takes off….

  8. Dick May 18, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

    Jay, enjoy and just remember those fateful words my father told me at a youthful age.

  9. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:06 pm #

    Sigh….nevermind!!

    Yes, I was on fire, but I have meds for that, Dick.

    *pours another glass of vino*

    Hello, Dr Phil Vila Maytag Lady!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Can you imagine the avatard to that??

  10. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 10:06 pm #

    Uh oh, I’m afraid to ask, but I must…

  11. Dick May 18, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

    You already know.

  12. roamingfirehydrant May 18, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

    **high-fives Aggie

    **hands over chocolate

  13. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:11 pm #

    **hands over chocolate

    Perfect, Roamy!! I’m wearing my chocolate molecule t-shirt 😉

  14. mrfixit May 18, 2011 at 10:14 pm #

    mmmm chocolate… maybe that will take away the pain of hocking my left nut for a new a/c unit for the house…

  15. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:16 pm #

    Howdy, mrfixit!!!

    Yeow… I saw that. If it makes you feel better, I paid $4500.

    Back in ’95…

  16. roamingfirehydrant May 18, 2011 at 10:17 pm #

    I made brownies for Mr. RFH’s birthday – it counts as cake. If you don’t have cake, the birthday doesn’t count.

  17. Dick May 18, 2011 at 10:18 pm #

    Goiles, hawt babes, milfs o’ plenty, and chiks I’d like to… play backgammon with,

    Have a wonderful evening.

    Guys, rub one out and forgetaboutit.

  18. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:18 pm #

    I thought brownies trump cake, Roamy?

    Or is that what Brad says?

  19. roamingfirehydrant May 18, 2011 at 10:19 pm #

    I had to get a new heat pump/gas furnace for the house earlier this year. Add on a service warranty, and it was $7K.

  20. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:20 pm #

    G’night Dick!!

    I’m still thudding, by the way….

  21. roamingfirehydrant May 18, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    Mr. RFH prefers pecan pie, but I didn’t have the time or energy for that.

  22. roamingfirehydrant May 18, 2011 at 10:25 pm #

    Good night, Dick!

    so who is mrfixit?

  23. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:26 pm #

    mrfixit is a regular at H&B, and very much Peasant material 😀

  24. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 10:29 pm #

    mmmm, Pecan pie. Haven’t had a good one in a while. Might have to find some pecans.

  25. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 10:29 pm #

    We went to the big city and increased the local employees owned supermarket chain by a c-note or so. Plus a few more items/stops…and saw the result of a nasty (not involving us) traffic accident. It’s not good when an SUV is on it’s side, by the side of the road.

    Jay in Ames, congrats!! Aggie you are a dervish in the mom department!! OH, and good night Dick…where ever you are!

  26. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

    Thanks Guy. I’m sure Dick will realize the error of his ways, and rescind.

    Then again, he’ll just leave me there, so I can clean up my own moderated comments. Winning!

  27. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

    I have pecans from my grandmother-in-law’s trees in my freezer. I can’t bring myself to eat them, because it’s the last thing she gave me before she passed away.

    Guy, sounds like you had quite the adventure. I assume a lot of gluten-free stuff was acquired?

  28. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 10:33 pm #

    Ok, this sinus infection is kicking me in the nads AND THAT MAKES HULK ANGRY!!!!!

    Seriously. I skipped church tonight because the lawn was in DIRE need of mowing, and it wasn’t raining, so I mowed. And now I feel like Alpo and my freaking hand is twitching.

    I hate being sick. But at least the neighbors will quit giving me the hairy eyeball.

  29. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 10:37 pm #

    Sinus infection and mowing? Not Winning!

    That sounds awful.

  30. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 10:38 pm #

    Oh, and tonight’s musical selections:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4jTTuxSHls

    and the classic:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=useIG8kOJxo

    Dance, Peasants, Dance!

  31. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 18, 2011 at 10:41 pm #

    A “Blast from the Past” – this was (is) the TiFW’s “song”; Mr. TiFW picked it out for me when we were dating….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56Fyep3H7vg

    Welcome, Mr. FixIt!

  32. Jewstin May 18, 2011 at 10:43 pm #

    But at least the neighbors will quit giving me the hairy eyeball.

    I’ll take over.

    *Gives BiW the stink eye.

  33. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:43 pm #

    I’m sorry you feel like Alpo, BisW.

    I’m dancing, if it makes you feel better.

  34. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 10:44 pm #

    *throws more beads

  35. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:45 pm #

    *throws more beads

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Roamy, here are your beads!!

  36. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 10:46 pm #

    Speaking of “blast from the past”…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVmyndyYBBs

  37. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 10:48 pm #

    I’ll take over.

    *Gives BiW the stink eye.

    Thanks, Jewstin. It’s nice to know that I can still count on some things. Any Texans give your uncovered nipples a twist yet?

  38. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 10:49 pm #

    Thanks Jay! Aggie, no gluten free tonight, but did pick up some ice cream…and, oh yeah, the beef and chicken broth are gluten free, so there is that. Coffee was the big thing, and cheese! Might have to do some watermellon later.

    Sorry to hear you are feeling like hammered fecal matter BisW, might be time for a hot rum toddy.

    And finally, in other news, Osama bin Ladin is still dead!

  39. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    *sips Asian Pacific, waits for someone to say something funneh*

  40. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    Roamy has to earn the beads!

  41. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    Sorry to hear you are feeling like hammered fecal matter BisW, might be time for a hot rum toddy.

    Yeah, I’d like that, but that nifty warning Vic Toza carries around with him says that he and Al Cohol would make my blood sugar crater if the two came together for a party, so I am crushingly, boringly sober these days, just because I’m not a big fan of comas…at least not for myself.

  42. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    *sips Asian Pacific, waits for someone to say something funneh*

    My momma.

  43. Jewstin May 18, 2011 at 10:54 pm #

    Any Texans give your uncovered nipples a twist yet?

    Well, yeah. But you probably wouldn’t like the pictures.

  44. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 10:54 pm #

    Roamy has to earn the beads!

    You have seen her picture, right?

  45. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 10:54 pm #

    Wait…who were the beads for?

  46. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

    Well, yeah. But you probably wouldn’t like the pictures.

    Hell no. I’m not into that kinky shit. From there, its just a hop, skip and a jump to piercing them, and dribbling candlewax, and all that stuff.

    But you might interest XBrad…

  47. Gmland May 18, 2011 at 10:58 pm #

    J’Ames? I did not approve this!

  48. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:00 pm #

    Well, look who is sober enough to comment!! 😉

  49. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 11:00 pm #

    J’Ames? I did not approve this!

    Quiet, you!

  50. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

    Well, look who is sober enough to comment!!

    How sober do you have to be to type?

  51. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:02 pm #

    Good point, my liege.

    *gives BisW a peeled grape*

  52. Gmland May 18, 2011 at 11:03 pm #

    Sober enough, perhaps…

  53. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    Good point, my liege.

    *gives BisW a peeled grape*

    I’m not stupid enough to be royalty.

    I was only stupid enough to go to law school.

    Twice.

  54. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    BisW…hmmm no booze for youse?! well, ya might try making a hot lemonade. Boiling water, quarter cup (pour to taste) reconstituted lemon juice, sweeten with sugar or honey. Mix it all up in a coffee mug. Drink it as hot as you can stand it. I usually start by sipping with a spoon. It helps to open the sinuses and doesn’t taste bad either.

    And nipples don’t need piercing … they need sucking, licking, teasing, tweaking, and the occasional bit of whipped cream.

  55. roamingfirehydrant May 18, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    **dances for beads

  56. MCPO Airdale May 18, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    I was in the right place, but it must have been the wrong time.

  57. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

    So you bellied up to the bar twice BisW?

  58. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

    Sober enough, perhaps…

    So I take it that Count is laid back and cool? You know, so he didn’t have to drop the whole bottle of roofies into your drink?

  59. Gmland May 18, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

    Met up with an old high school buddy tonight. Several Jack and cokes were destroyed in the making of this comment.

  60. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:06 pm #

    I’m not stupid enough to be royalty.

    Just STFU and eat the fucking grape, ok??

    Sober enough, perhaps…

    Translation: GML is on his fifth..

    And nipples don’t need piercing … they need sucking, licking, teasing, tweaking, and the occasional bit of whipped cream.

    And GuyS just achieved elite Peasant status.

  61. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 11:06 pm #

    *throws beads to roamy.

    Makes them more valuable, doesn’t it?

  62. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:06 pm #

    ~Beads my one and only love … and end this yearning~~

  63. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

    So you bellied up to the bar twice BisW?

    Three years for the J.D., and then, after I moved across the country, passed the bar, and then worked for a few years, I put in another year getting the LL.M.

  64. Gmland May 18, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

    Yea, Count was cool. He spoke highly of all you guys… My guess is he was really drunk and wasn’t thinking clearly.

  65. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 11:09 pm #

    Good to see you are in training, GMLand.

    And NYAH NYAH NYAH!

  66. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:09 pm #

    My guess is he was really drunk and wasn’t thinking clearly.

    More than a grain of truth in that.

  67. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 11:09 pm #

    Yea, Count was cool. He spoke highly of all you guys… My guess is he was really drunk and wasn’t thinking clearly.

    That’s the only explanation I can think of.

    But answer the only question that really matters: Was he gentle?

  68. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    Cmon, BiW, these are beads. There are RULES!

    Unbreakable! Written on the bannisters of many Bourbon Street hotels (I’m told).

  69. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    Elite Peasant status!!”

    *Tosses more beads than Carter has little liver pills, toward Aggie*

    Thank you! I will cherish this honor for as long as …oh look shinnies!!

  70. Jewstin May 18, 2011 at 11:11 pm #

    BiW, do you get to put Esq. after your signature?

  71. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

    LL.M is that before or after LL Bean?

  72. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

    Those better be pearly beads 😉

  73. Gmland May 18, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

    Gentle?

    So much so that it was actually kind of tickl….. NO!!!!

  74. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 11:14 pm #

    Those better be pearly beads

    There’s low hanging fruit, and then there’s low hanging fruit. This one you better get out an iron, cuz there’s gonna be a divot.

  75. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:15 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

  76. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 11:16 pm #

    BiW, do you get to put Esq. after your signature?

    Yes, but its more fun to put the LL.M. after it, not that I do either. But the LL.M. makes all the other lawyers insecure.

    My boss made me put it on my business card, though.

  77. MCPO Airdale May 18, 2011 at 11:19 pm #

    I get to put, “USN(ret)” after my name.

  78. MCPO Airdale May 18, 2011 at 11:21 pm #

    or, “Grumpy Old Asshole”, depending on my mood.

  79. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 11:22 pm #

    I get to put, “USN(ret)” after my name.

    Then you give them the look that lets them know you can still kick their asses.

  80. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:22 pm #

    Which one do you use more often, MCPO??

  81. Gmland May 18, 2011 at 11:22 pm #

    My official title is – Guy M. Land A.I.B.D./ T.I.B.D. / C.P.B.D.

    And,

    I have a cool watch!

  82. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:24 pm #

    MCPO, do the USN(ret) thang too. And GM, I don’t have a cool watch, but sometimes, if I am naughty, I get to watch.

  83. MCPO Airdale May 18, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

    Guy – Airdale, Skimmer or Bubblehead?

  84. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 18, 2011 at 11:28 pm #

    Alright, I’m gonna shower, and then watch tv for an hour before I fall asleep.

    Jay, with great power comes great responsibility.

    I don’t know why I wanted to tell you that.

  85. Jay in Ames May 18, 2011 at 11:30 pm #

    See ya, BiW!

  86. Gmland May 18, 2011 at 11:31 pm #

    Fauxlex!

  87. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:34 pm #

    BisW have a good night and a better tomorrow!!

    MCPO finest kind airdale (AT) although I also have the gold wreath for recruiting, and finished up with being a UAV pilot (Pioneer).

  88. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:37 pm #

    G’night, BisW. I hope you feel better 🙂

  89. MCPO Airdale May 18, 2011 at 11:38 pm #

    GuyS – Thank God! I thought you were gonna say, “AX”. Then, I would have to ask how many times you took an AW to the squadron Christmas party as your date.

  90. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:42 pm #

    “An AX is an AW with balls!” … is that what you were trying to say ? *snort* Did a few tours with VPs (50/30, both outta Moffet) , was just a c-hair away from being turned qualled on the old C-117, while stationed at NAS Kef. Ahhh those were the days.

  91. MCPO Airdale May 18, 2011 at 11:44 pm #

    C-117? HA! Luxury! Try it in a C-131!

  92. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:45 pm #

    If this works, read the article all the way through. It will warm the cockles of your heart!

  93. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:45 pm #

    Navy blog!!

  94. MCPO Airdale May 18, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

    Aggie – And your point is. . .?

  95. Gmland May 18, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

    Heartwarming indeed, Guy.

  96. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

    *Won’t be a real Navy blog until you get to watch your chow slide to your port side and then starboard…the trick is to grab a bit while it passes by, and to avoid any “extra food” supplied by your shipmates whose constitution is not quite so strong.”

  97. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 18, 2011 at 11:51 pm #

    Squids talking shop again?

    Time for this old gal to turn in for the evening – we’re heading out tomorrow for a road trip.

    We’re leaving the 2 middle daughters at home in charge of Rebecca – we’ll see who is left standing at the end of the weekend….

    Our money is on Rebecca.

  98. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:51 pm #

    Not the new 117’s but the converted DC-3s. And have flown on the 130, but not the 131. (Also flew on C-118s, at least they had four engines.)

  99. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:51 pm #

    I was CHEERING, MCPO.

    Damn, but you are grouchy tonight.

    *gives MCPO a juicebox and pain meds*

  100. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:52 pm #

    Have a good nights rest Teresa, and safe journey tomorrow!

  101. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:56 pm #

    G’night, Teresa. Have a great trip. And yes, I think Rebecca will be the lone survivor 😉

  102. MCPO Airdale May 18, 2011 at 11:56 pm #

    Aggie – I’ve been grumpy before, but it was so bad tonight, Herself went out and got me a banana split. I haven’t had one in a couple of years. It did put a smile on my face.

  103. GuyS May 18, 2011 at 11:57 pm #

    *Slips MCPO some “torpedo juice”, this outta cheer you right up!*

  104. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:57 pm #

    Awwwww, that is so sweet of Herself to do, MCPO.

    She is a treasure.

  105. Gmland May 18, 2011 at 11:58 pm #

    Heading back to TN in the morning. Looking forward to filling up the tank twice for just under $200…….. Hug a nut Obama.

  106. LC Aggie Sith May 18, 2011 at 11:59 pm #

    Heading back to TN in the morning.

    Hope you have a safe trip, and don’t run into any bad weather.

    And remember next time, SA is THIS WAY!!

  107. MCPO Airdale May 19, 2011 at 12:01 am #

    GuyS – When I was on Saratoga, we found a void with 25 sonobuoy containers, all topped with condoms. Somebody had a serious operation underway!

  108. roamingfirehydrant May 19, 2011 at 12:01 am #

    I put AGNLH after my name.

  109. LC Aggie Sith May 19, 2011 at 12:01 am #

    Time for me to get to bed. Y’all have a great evening 😀

  110. GuyS May 19, 2011 at 12:04 am #

    Night Aggie!!!

  111. GuyS May 19, 2011 at 12:08 am #

    MCPO wonder if that was remnants of a shellback initiation gone awry?

  112. GuyS May 19, 2011 at 12:15 am #

    Damn I kilt it!!!

  113. Dick May 19, 2011 at 7:43 am #

    New poat!

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