Sunday Morning Boner

15 May

I haven’t had one this hard since seventh grade.

Then again, there was that morning in ’78…

190 Responses to “Sunday Morning Boner”

  1. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 9:28 am #

    You can tell this is a Dick poat 😀

  2. Dick May 15, 2011 at 9:28 am #

    Best poat evah!

  3. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 9:29 am #

    It does have a certain charm!!

  4. Car in May 15, 2011 at 9:44 am #

    Morning.

    Finally.

    I’ve been up by myself for HOURS.

  5. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 9:45 am #

    So, last night I hosted a ThirtyOne party, where you have a consultant show organizational totes and bags and crap like that. I thought maybe I would get about $200 in sales (the stuff isn’t expensive, but you would think women have bags and totes by now).

    They spent $1000, and now I have to figure out how to use my “rewards”.

    Oh, and for the serious WTF moment, my sister tells me my niece, who is 21, is hosting a “naughty” party next week at my sis’ house. I’m still in shock.

  6. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 9:46 am #

    I’ve been up since 6, Carin. But I had to finish cleaning up because my OCD sister is stopping here on her way back to her home in Arkansas.

  7. Dick May 15, 2011 at 9:56 am #

    Oh, and for the serious WTF moment, my sister tells me my niece, who is 21, is hosting a “naughty” party next week at my sis’ house. I’m still in shock.

    Please, Auntie Car in. You have a bellybutton piercing.
    Maybe za niece is just trying to get the edge back.

  8. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 9:58 am #

    Please, Auntie Car in. You have a bellybutton piercing.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    No, Dick…My niece 😉

  9. Dick May 15, 2011 at 10:03 am #

    Sorry Aggie, my mistake, but now you have to get your bellybutton pierced.

  10. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    now you have to get your bellybutton pierced.

    Fuck no!!

  11. Car in May 15, 2011 at 10:15 am #

    I’ve got no nieces. Only nephews.

  12. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 10:20 am #

    Remember reading the Thor comics, as a kid, oldest genetic hostage saw the movie about a week ago, said it was fucking awesome, and most of the reviews I’ve seen said it was not a bad little summer flick.

    *And now back to the regular poat, already in progress…*

    Heading out to see Mom today (about a 2 hour drive). Her sister and oldest daughter are out visiting from California (Mom’s other sister, who lives nearby, and her husband, are both pretty close to deaths door… combination cancer/Parkinson’s/ and old age are taking their toll). And my oldest has flown in from Az, so it will be quite the family gathering at Mom’s today.

    Will pop in later tonight, when we get back. Ya’ll have a great day.

    Oh, and Dick, the only time I have ever regretted having “morning wood”, was when I was home on leave, and mom decided to pop up to the bedroom and see if I was awake for breakfast. It was summer time, and the one light sheet I had covering me was kicked off durring the night. Needless to say, I was asleep on my back…well except for one particular part of my anatomy…”he” was pointing proudly up at the ceiling. After I came down to the kitchen, for the morning coffee and such, the conversation was rather brief…”Son, you might want to make sure you keep your door shut at night. Followed by something about me no longer being her “little boy” any more. Guess it is a good thing we didn’t live in the hills of Tenn or WVA.

  13. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 10:24 am #

    Guess it is a good thing we didn’t live in the hills of Tenn or WVA.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  14. Dick May 15, 2011 at 10:27 am #

    I’ve got no nieces. Only nephews.

    Auntie Car in’s nephew is having a Naughty Party!

  15. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 10:27 am #

    Thanks for the laugh this morning, Guy!

    There are lots of things they don’t tell you about in the “Mom manual” – I think we’ve all had our share of blushable moments….

  16. Dick May 15, 2011 at 10:28 am #

    Guy, enjoy your day, and try not to let them find out you hang out with a serious perv on the internet.

  17. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 10:29 am #

    Oh, and for the serious WTF moment, my sister tells me my niece, who is 21, is hosting a “naughty” party next week at my sis’ house. I’m still in shock.

    Y’know, there are some things that I would rather NOT know about “what my kids are doing”….

    Frankly, I don’t think any of my girls would WANT me to know that they were having that kind of a party –

  18. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 10:30 am #

    If you had met anyone from moms side of the family, hell, you’d fit right in! (Back in the day, mom’s mom made “bathtub gin for the Capone gang, to help make ends meet.)

  19. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 10:31 am #

    In keeping with the theme of today’s post, Rebecca is watching “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”. Overheard just now:

    “Is that a rabbit in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

    Truly, one of the classic movie lines –

  20. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 10:31 am #

    I think I was more in shock about my sister letting her do it, than my niece attending it.

    My sis (love her to death) prefers to be her daughters’ best friend, if you get my drift.

  21. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 10:34 am #

    (Back in the day, mom’s mom made “bathtub gin for the Capone gang, to help make ends meet.)

    I bet there are some really awesome stories in your family, Guy! Hope you have a great visit 🙂

  22. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 10:51 am #

    I agree, Teresa. My eldest and I have had our moments because she wants me to treat her the way my sis treats her daughters. And I just can’t do that. I am a mom first, and until they are out on their own, the “friend” thing won’t fully develop.

  23. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 11:02 am #

    Your daughter will appreciate that so much more, Aggie. She may not realize it now, but she will later on. I’ve lost count of the number of time that DD#1 has told me that over the past couple of years….

    And we have a great relationship now!

  24. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:11 am #

    I hope so, Teresa. I give her more responsibilities now, and I think it’s helping 🙂

  25. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 11:19 am #

    Aggie, if it helps any, just know that girls turn into perfectly lovely human beings after they turn 18. (Some days, that was the only thing that kept the middle two girls alive – I had DD#1 to remind me it would all get better!)

    Those teen years are rough, but as I told hubby, “If we’re NOT yelling at each other, then something is wrong…”

    One of the book titles that still makes me laugh is “Get Out of My Life! But First, Could You Take Me and Cheryl to the Mall?”

    And DD#1 warned her sisters NEVER to make the mistake that she did – telling mom that “If you had a REAL life, you’d understand!”

    That was an hour of her life that she never got back…

  26. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:26 am #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    Yeah, eldest made that mistake too 😉 She is still lamenting it!

  27. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 11:30 am #

    Still rounding up the indians to head down the road.

    Regarding teenagers; the oldest here has a friend who was sent to his father’s house for about a week after he happen to tell his mom she was “unsympathetic”, durring one of their more animated interactions. We still get a hoot outta that one.

    On the plus side, after two have left the nest, Deb is far more flexible with the two remaining genetic hostages (being the step-dad, I just keep score….it’s safer that way). Guess you do adjust and learn to adapt from previous teen encounters.

    Also, perhaps showing my age here, my parents were never my friends. We had lots of good times together, and they would listen (usually much more than was warranted), but dad was dad and mom was mom. There were lines you did not cross if you had any wits about you at all.

  28. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:34 am #

    Guy, same here. My parents as friends?? INCONCEIVABLE!!

    And I do know what that word means 😉

    To this day, I can’t drink any alcohol at their home. I don’t cuss (ZOMG!!!), and if I do go out with Hubby somewhere, we are back in the house two minutes before 10 PM. That was my curfew growing up 😀

  29. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 11:37 am #

    Oh dear God! Aggie!! The ex and I, the first time we were at the folks house, after we got married…slept upstairs, almost directly above the folks bedroom…no sex that night!! And the first time I ever cussed in the presence of the parents, got a pass, cause we thought the Russians may have started WWIII (WGN played the wrong Early Warning System tape one Sat morning, and hilarity ensued.)

  30. Dick May 15, 2011 at 11:43 am #

    So I guess taking Donny to a strip club for his 12th birthday was an error, huh?
    Oh well…

  31. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 11:45 am #

    Dick, that is not being a friend, that is a father properly training his son to appreciate the female form in all its glory…and learning the fine art of what a dollar is really worth!!

  32. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:47 am #

    So I guess taking Donny to a strip club for his 12th birthday was an error, huh?

    Are you fucking kidding?? Look at that young man!! I hold him as an example to my son.

    *makes plans to take son to strip joint after school lets out*

  33. Dick May 15, 2011 at 11:51 am #

    If I had a daughter, it would’ve been a complete fail.
    http://tiny.cc/sq2h5

  34. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:54 am #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

    omigod….

  35. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 11:55 am #

    Well hell, everyone knows you don’t poll dance that close to an electrical outlet!! Safety first!!

  36. Dick May 15, 2011 at 12:01 pm #

    Call me picky, but plastic truck bedliners are complete dogshit.
    I seriously need to pull this pos out and have a spray in liner shot into it.

  37. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 12:02 pm #

    Is it giving you trouble, Dick?

  38. Dick May 15, 2011 at 12:02 pm #

    Sad part is that’s it’s factory and standard equipment so I’m pretty much just pissing away money.

  39. Dick May 15, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

    Aggie, they have a tendency to set about an inch away from the sidewalls to absorb shock, which in turn pretty much covers up the bed tiedowns.
    So less bedspace, and tiedowns I have a hard time getting to.

  40. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 12:12 pm #

    If it makes your job easier, it will pay off in the long run, Dick.

  41. Car in May 15, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    It’s rainy and cold. All our stuff has been canceled for the day (soccer). Husband has decided to play video games with the kids ALL DAY LONG.

    I’m bored.

    SUNDAY FAIL.

  42. Dick May 15, 2011 at 12:22 pm #

    Carin, we’re gonna do nekkid Twister here.
    Good timing.

  43. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 12:34 pm #

    Wow! A poat about me!

    You guys are the best!

  44. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 12:36 pm #

    I tell you…when I think about the times that I’ve been “exposed”….I’ve had more camera time than Paris Hilton’s twat.

  45. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 12:36 pm #

    Hmmm – perhaps Dick and Car in would be up for a game of Nekkid SKYPE Twister?…..

  46. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    People complain about me popping up from time to time…then they want me to do push ups…which is still ok, although some of the places they’d have me work out aren’t exacty “springtime fresh” if you get my meaning.

    I don’t even mind throwing up at the end, unless one of you bastards puts me in that wet suit. How’d you like to be trapped in your own vomit, huh?

  47. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 12:41 pm #

    Mornin’, wood –

  48. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    On the plus side, after two have left the nest, Deb is far more flexible with the two remaining genetic hostages (being the step-dad, I just keep score….it’s safer that way). Guess you do adjust and learn to adapt from previous teen encounters get tired after a while and just say “Screw it”.

    FTFY.

  49. Dick May 15, 2011 at 12:49 pm #

    MOM!!!!!!!Teresa’s having a conversation with a penis, again!!!!

  50. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 12:50 pm #

    And you dudes with the unsubtle girlfreinds?

    WTF?

    I’m not a loaf of bread to be kneaded, and squeezing Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb like one of those stress reliever thingies? You fellas need to grab here love bean and yank really hard, so she gets the point. I’ll always give you my best, fellas, but my best ain’t up to par when you let her grab me like that.

  51. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 12:56 pm #

    I love it when PHSL shows up.

    What?

  52. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

    Nekkid Twister on Skype?

    Hm….

  53. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 15, 2011 at 1:03 pm #

    Someone’s been popping the Levitras like Chicklets again.

  54. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 15, 2011 at 1:05 pm #

    Kinda like OBL.

    Still, that I get. You know how it is…the wives just didn’t have that special look in their eyes that the goats and camels used to get.

    But then the ladies learned early on that there was nothing to fear from small bones…

  55. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 1:05 pm #

    Good morning, BisW!!

  56. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 1:06 pm #

    Dave was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

    One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit $200 million.”

    Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

  57. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

    MOM!!!!!!!Teresa’s having a conversation with a penis, again!!!!

    Mr. TiFW never seems to mind….

  58. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 15, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

    Yep.

    Moanin’, Aggs.

  59. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

    three days later, she became his stepmother.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  60. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 15, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

    Who’s making breakfast?

  61. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

    Well, PHSL is already “up” this mornin’, IYKWIM.

    I vote he makes breakfast.

  62. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

    Moanin’, Aggs.

    So, you’re the one with the Levitra??

  63. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 15, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    Well, PHSL is already “up” this mornin’, IYKWIM.

    I vote he makes breakfast.

    He’s only good for fertilized eggs.

    I was thinking more about some Texas biscuits and gravy, coffee, tomato juice, and some crispy roast beef hash.

    So if one of you would be a dear…

    Thankseversomuch.

  64. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    *gives BisW Eggs Benedict, sliced strawberries, and hot coffee*

    I’m having lunch already.

  65. Dick May 15, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    The phone’s charged and just maybe I’ll get a call from Donny today.
    That would make my day even though I really don’t expect it to happen.

  66. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 15, 2011 at 1:13 pm #

    So, you’re the one with the Levitra??

    Did I write the poat about bedsnakes standing at attention?

  67. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Sorry, BisW. That was the special at Chez Aggie.

    I do hope he gets a chance to call, Dick. That would put you over the moon.

  68. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Did I write the poat about bedsnakes standing at attention?

    No, but you were moaning 😉

  69. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 15, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    That woud do fine, Aggs.

  70. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

    So…. are we up for a Tejas Meat Up?

    Inquiring mind in SA wants to know…

  71. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 1:36 pm #

    Hehhehhehhehheh…..

    Aggie said “up”…..

  72. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

    Aggie said “up”…..

    You are not as innocent as you claim to be 😉

  73. dick May 15, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    The only issue I’d have with a Texas Meat Up is Pat and Bear. Both of us couldn’t travel overnight.

  74. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    I do have a backyard, and my dogs are friendly, Dick.

    But if it’s an issue I can certainly travel up north-a-ways.

  75. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 2:36 pm #

    Yay!! I am POATKILLA!!!

  76. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 2:51 pm #

    You are not as innocent as you claim to be

    Did I ever claim to be innocent?
    It’s not my fault people make assumptions….

  77. dick May 15, 2011 at 3:02 pm #

    Aggie, we have a separate bedroom and bath anytime you’d like to come up.
    In the past, Donny could watch the pups, but that’s kind shot now…

  78. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 3:03 pm #

    Heh, good point!!

  79. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 3:12 pm #

    Thanks, Dick. I might take y’all up on it 🙂

  80. dick May 15, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    Lovely, just managed to belt myself in the mouth with a ladder while putting it in the truckbed.
    Now I have a fat lower lip. How special.

  81. dick May 15, 2011 at 3:32 pm #

    And Aggie, I’m not sure about mixing Bear with any other dogs besides Pat. He’s fairly aggressive.

  82. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

    Now I have a fat lower lip.

    You need that TLC’ed, stat!

    I’m not sure about mixing Bear with any other dogs besides Pat

    Well, then I guess a trip up there would be infinitely easier for me than for y’all. Which means I would leave the kidlets in my sister’s care.

    Yes, I’m looking for a downside, but can’t seem to find it.

  83. dick May 15, 2011 at 3:47 pm #

    Oh, this looks hawt… not.

  84. dick May 15, 2011 at 3:48 pm #

    I haven’t had a fat lip, ever. Until now.

  85. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 3:50 pm #

    Ironic in all your years in the service, that it took a measly ladder to give you a fat lip 😉

  86. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    The burning question is…

    Will there be an update with a pic??

  87. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 4:15 pm #

    Because it’s getting to be that time of year, the hauntingly beautiful “Summertime”:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7-Qa92Rzbk

    (One of the loveliest versions I’ve ever heard)

  88. dick May 15, 2011 at 4:15 pm #

    Just tried and took a couple of pics but it doesn’t show up other than the impact area. If it turns purple I’ll get a pic up.

  89. dick May 15, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

    Oh, I lied about the fat lip. When my buddy shot me in the face, I kinda had a fat lip then.

  90. dick May 15, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

    The ex-inlaws had a couple of black labs named Porgy and Bess.
    No…. They weren’t racist./sarc

  91. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 4:19 pm #

    When my buddy shot me in the face, I kinda had a fat lip then.

    You are buddies with DICK CHENEY???

  92. dick May 15, 2011 at 4:26 pm #

    Wasn’t everybody at one point or the other?

  93. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

    Maybe you’re right, Dick…

  94. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 5:28 pm #

    POATKILLA!!!!

    I am that good

  95. roamingfirehydrant May 15, 2011 at 5:59 pm #

    You don’t want your shit, neither do we.

    http://tinyurl.com/3n79bhw

    I understand people wanting to help, but we have plenty of stained, ragged clothes to go around already. Dayum.

  96. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 6:03 pm #

    That’s why I sent cash donation to the Salvation Army, Roamy.

  97. roamingfirehydrant May 15, 2011 at 6:06 pm #

    Thank you, Aggie, you’re awesome.

  98. dick May 15, 2011 at 6:11 pm #

    After looking over southern Delaware real estate for the better part of a couple of hours this afternoon, I’ve come to a couple of conclusions.

    One: People are fucking stupid beyond help if they really believe somebody’s gonna buy their dogshit house at the prices they’re tossing out.

    Two: People are stupid not to snatch up a few of the unreal bargains I’ve come across that have been sitting there empty for going on three years now.

    I only hope a few of these deals are out there when we’re ready to pull the trigger.

  99. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

    Dick, a lot of people aren’t as construction savvy as you are. That may explain why some bargains go for years without an offer.

    Roamy, it really was the very least I could do, since I live way the fuck over here.

  100. dick May 15, 2011 at 6:20 pm #

    My favs are the 3br/1ba farmhouses with no a/c that are 100yrs. old or better.
    I am sooooo snagging one of those classics when the time comes.

  101. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 6:26 pm #

    Older is better, IMO. Sometimes it looks like some homes are built like disposable dollhouses.

  102. dick May 15, 2011 at 6:35 pm #

    Most of them are these days judging from a lot of the work I end up doing.

  103. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

    Homemade chicken and rice soup, homemade bread rolls, and fresh-baked brownies for dessert. WIN!!!

  104. dick May 15, 2011 at 6:53 pm #

    Kelly’s doing spaghetti with homemade sauce, meatballs, and sausage.
    Should be pretty damn good.

  105. roamingfirehydrant May 15, 2011 at 6:59 pm #

    for the serious WTF moment, my sister tells me my niece, who is 21, is hosting a “naughty” party next week at my sis’ house

    Those are fun, but I imagine there’s a weirdness factor when relatives are involved.

  106. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

    Extremely weird, Roamy. It’s one thing to do it if you are out on your own, but with your mom and aunt???

    Oh, and she has text me her invite. Told me I should come so I can get a few “toys” since Hubby is gone.

    THE FUCK????????

    Literally…

  107. roamingfirehydrant May 15, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    Yikes…

    I know one of the ones I went to was weird enough. It was a bridal shower (!), and the mother of the bride was explaining anal lube. I couldn’t stop giggling.

  108. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 7:07 pm #

    BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

  109. dick May 15, 2011 at 7:09 pm #

    Little Levonne was close to his mother.
    http://tiny.cc/9xhxl

  110. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

    I get an “image doesn’t exist” with that link, Dick.

  111. dick May 15, 2011 at 7:15 pm #

    Probably better that way, Aggie.
    But then again…
    http://tiny.cc/1885c

  112. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 7:17 pm #

    Shit, same thing, Dick.

    But if it’s better that way…

  113. MCPO Airdale May 15, 2011 at 7:26 pm #

  114. dick May 15, 2011 at 7:31 pm #

    Here, Google this with the safe search off in photos.

    parenting-fails05

    Nice young black mother and her son.
    It’s safe for anything.

  115. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 7:36 pm #

    Holy fucking hell, Dick.

    WTF was she thinking??

  116. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 7:49 pm #

    Can’t find the rest of that episode – it had the TiFWs on the floor, we were laughing so hard…

  117. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

    I am still a hostage to Disney, Teresa. I hadn’t even heard of that show 🙂

  118. dick May 15, 2011 at 8:32 pm #

    Now we’re watching some old Top Gear episodes.

    Aggie, glad that was informative for ya.

  119. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 15, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

    Found a synopsis of the episode, but it really doesn’t do it justice:

    When Robin tries to take the gift out of the pile, the future nun stops her. Older Ted – “As many times as Robin told this story over the years, she would never quite be able to explain the logic of her next move.” Robin exchanges the card from another gift packaged with the same wrapping paper.

    At the wedding shower, the future nun hands Lily Robin’s present and the card states that it from Lily’s grandmother. Older Ted – “Okay, something you need to know. Grandma Lois thought she was giving her granddaughter an antique sewing machine. And we’re back in.” Lily’s grandmother explains how generations in her family have used what she is getting as a present.

    Then Lily’s grandmother is tells her all of the different things she and her sister used to do with the gift she was giving her and how the men even used it once in a while.

    Lily opens the present and when Lily sees it, she is shocked because of all of the stories that her grandmother told her (at this point, no one else can see it).

    Her grandmother offers to show her how to use it, but Robin stops her from taking it out of the package and explains herself. Lily’s family gathers around to see what it is and when Lily’s mother sees it, she brings up Sex and the City and how it was like the one they had on the show.

    Older Ted – “And then the night became a whole new kind of uncomfortable.” Lily’s mother even asks Robin where to get one.

  120. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 9:28 pm #

    Enough already! I’m gettin’ raw here, people!

  121. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 9:32 pm #

    BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    *gives PHSL an icepack*

    *chortles*

  122. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 9:36 pm #

    Look, the label doesn’t say “For an erection lasting longer than four hours, abuse until your testicles shrivel up from being pumped dry.” and it doesn’t say “Make it so you can test the latest skin ointment to see how good it is on friction burns.”

    Dayum, people.

  123. dick May 15, 2011 at 9:38 pm #

    For erections lasting over four hours, find as many willing participants as possible.

  124. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 9:44 pm #

    I always thought that was a feature, not a bug.

  125. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    Dinner time? Great!

    What?

    NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    Not tacos again!!!!

  126. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

    For erections lasting over four hours, find as many willing participants as possible.

    Oh, sure…. it isn’t like you’re doing any of the work.

    Do you know how dark it gets in there?

  127. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    I bet PHSL hates “pie” too!

  128. dick May 15, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

    Mr. PHSL sounds a bit gay to me.

  129. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 9:53 pm #

    Just spent the shank of the day with mom, my Aunt (mom’s sister from California), my cousin (also from CA), two sons (one with his girlfriend), my sister and two of her kids, and my lovely wife with our youngest son in tow. Good food, good conversation, and a good time were had by all. The only objection, it was far too short of a time well spent together.

  130. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 9:53 pm #

    Besides, all the time I’ve been in service, I’ve always been the tip of the spear. Always ready for action, and I’ve always come when called. I’ve been in some tight places, and I’ve been where every man has been before, but I’ve always made it out in one piece, even when I’ve been squuezed until I couldn’t take it anymore. Even with this successful record of loyalty and erect service that any dickhead would be proud of, do you think I’ve ever earned a promotion? Hell no. I’m still just a private.

    It ain’t right, I tell ya.

  131. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 9:55 pm #

    And whatever happened to that chick who used to clean me regularly? Man, what she could do with her tongue…

  132. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 9:59 pm #

    I know one of the ones I went to was weird enough. It was a bridal shower (!), and the mother of the bride was explaining anal lube. I couldn’t stop giggling.

    What’s to explain? If you see it on the nightstand, you’re gonna take a journey that will be like a vacation in Hell. The best you can hope for is that it is a chick your own has you sphincter-spelunking.

  133. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 10:01 pm #

    Oh, I get it. You’re gonna leave me here all by myself, huh? Fine. See if I help you out the next time you come home at 2 am, liquored up and looking for love. I’ll be sleeping it off before you.

  134. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

    I’m serious. If you guys don’t come back, I’m gonna go party with your hair, and you ain’t gonna have any idea where I went.

  135. dick May 15, 2011 at 10:03 pm #

    Damn, a penis with attitude!
    My kinda unit!

  136. dick May 15, 2011 at 10:07 pm #

    Guy, I go over to my Dad’s house at least three times a week, and always hang out with the ol’ man a couple of hours each time. Yet I always feel like I’m not getting enough time in, even though I know I am.

  137. dick May 15, 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    Oh my God! I done kilt it!

  138. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    Attitude? I just tell it like it is.

    By the way, you know she’s just faking the orgasm, right?

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

    Just kidding. I know that you don’t believe in female orgasm anymore than you do the Tooth Fairy.

    Still, I had you going for a second…

  139. dick May 15, 2011 at 10:13 pm #

    Just kidding. I know that you don’t believe in female orgasm anymore than you do the Tooth Fairy.

    Mmmm…. Okay, Shorty.

  140. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 10:16 pm #

    Alright, I’m spent.

    (Get it?)

    Besides, this blog is only big enough for one dick, and I ain’t as good at it as he is. But I’ll come back for visits…usually when you have a headache, or need to spend the evening washing your hair.

  141. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 10:16 pm #

    After one argument with a psycho chick from the past, she asked just whom did I think I was going to satisfy with that (pointing at my member). With nothing to lose, I gave her the only honest and truthful answer there is …. “ME!!”

  142. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 10:17 pm #

    So PHSL is all “Petered out” is he?

  143. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 10:19 pm #

    After one argument with a psycho chick from the past, she asked just whom did I think I was going to satisfy with that (pointing at my member). With nothing to lose, I gave her the only honest and truthful answer there is …. “ME!!”

    An expert cocksman’s answer.

  144. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 10:19 pm #

    Damn! Now I kilt the poat!!

  145. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 10:21 pm #

    Psychochicks are always more fun in memory.

    Time tends to dull the feeling of that blade she threatened to use on me.

    Life wouldn’t have been enough for that Bobbitt chick.

  146. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 10:28 pm #

    Sweet Jehosephat… I go to take a bath, and shit gets serious.

  147. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 10:30 pm #

    Just Dicken around here Aggie!

  148. dick May 15, 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    Every young man needs to date at least one psycho chick in his youth. If nothing else, in order to prepare him for marriage.

    Prank caller! Prank caller!

  149. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 10:36 pm #

    They’ve made a complete cock-up of this poat.

  150. dick May 15, 2011 at 10:39 pm #

    Why yes we have. What be up, Xbad?

  151. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 10:39 pm #

    Every young man needs to date at least one psycho chick in his youth.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Brad, is that better than a cockdown??

  152. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 10:40 pm #

    I spent the day sitting by the pool sipping vodka tonics, and being fed great Southern cooking. I also made a new friend on FB, a hawt chick that is going to be on Top Shot Season 3.

  153. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 10:41 pm #

    Or in the case of Newt Gingrich, marry the beych.. http://tumblr.com/xsu2gpml74

  154. GuyS May 15, 2011 at 10:44 pm #

    Well, been a long day. Time to head toward the bed, watch a bit of the tube, and annoy the spousal unit. Night all!

  155. Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love May 15, 2011 at 10:46 pm #

    Being cockblocked isn’t always a bad thing.

    You may wear the beer goggles, but I don’t.

  156. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 10:47 pm #

    Brad is wining, dining and schmoozing with famous people.

    You need to get out of CA, dude…

  157. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    I spent enough time in Houston I thought I’d PCS’d.

  158. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

    Houston?? No one PCS’es there.

    Shoulda gone through SA. Just sayin’

  159. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 10:57 pm #

    Sorry, Aggie.

    You can’t get me as a babysitter that easily.

  160. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

    Oh, please…one bottle of MM and you would volunteer.

  161. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:02 pm #

    One bottle of MM, and I’d need a babysitter.

  162. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

    I would pay to see you being babysat 😉

  163. Dick May 15, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

    I also made a new friend on FB, a hawt chick that is going to be on Top Shot Season 3.

    Which just proves the point that wannabes will suck up to anybody.

  164. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    She’s a friend of my cousin.

    She’s smokin’ hawt, and she shoots. What’s not to like?

  165. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

    Aggie,

    You do realize there’s a whole genre of babysitter pron, right?

  166. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:14 pm #

    You do realize there’s a whole genre of babysitter pron, right?

    Forget I said anything! Just take the fucking bottle!!

  167. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:15 pm #

    Is there anything that they don’t make pr0n from??

  168. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:16 pm #

    Is that a nipple on the bottle?

  169. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:18 pm #

    http://tinyurl.com/4x7uw8y

  170. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:23 pm #

    Rule 34…of course.

    You want a nipple on the bottle? Doesn’t having a breast there impede drinking?

  171. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:25 pm #

    If there’s a breast there, I don’t think I’ll be worried about the drinking…

    I usually drink because of the lack of bewbage.

  172. Dick May 15, 2011 at 11:26 pm #

    Friends of cousins get passes as barbers do.

    G’night folks. I’m beat down and done.

  173. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

    G’night, Dick!

  174. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

    I usually drink because of the lack of bewbage.

    So, how’s your liver?

  175. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:34 pm #

    My liver sued for divorce on the grounds of intolerable cruelty.

  176. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:37 pm #

    Can’t hardly blame it, eh??

  177. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:41 pm #

    I hurt because I love…

  178. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:42 pm #

    Awwww….

    Nothing cures a broken heart like….

    *gives Brad chocolate brownies*

  179. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:44 pm #

    Actually, I grabbed a whole platter of left-over brownies from teh reunion.

  180. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:50 pm #

    Your tummy must be very happy right now 🙂

  181. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:52 pm #

    My tummy has been very happy since we (finally) made it to Alabama.

  182. LC Aggie Sith May 15, 2011 at 11:55 pm #

    Guess you don’t need a tummy rub 😉

  183. xbradtc May 15, 2011 at 11:57 pm #

    Need? No.

    Want? Yes.

    And with that, I’ll bid you adieu.

    And away to bed I go!

  184. LC Aggie Sith May 16, 2011 at 12:00 am #

    G’night, Brad!

    Turning in meself!

  185. Car in May 16, 2011 at 7:51 am #

    wakey wakey

  186. roamingfirehydrant May 16, 2011 at 8:24 am #

    Good morning, Carin.

    Well, after months of warning, my nephew finally cut off my batshit ex-SIL’s wireless and computer. She’s been running up bandwidth and minutes (usually complaining about my nephew’s wife) without any regard as to the overrun cost, and now it’s her problem. ‘Bout damn time.

  187. Car in May 16, 2011 at 8:26 am #

    Morning Roamy.

    are we a go this morning?

  188. roamingfirehydrant May 16, 2011 at 8:37 am #

    Looks like it, Carin.

  189. Dick May 16, 2011 at 8:52 am #

    New poat!

  190. roamingfirehydrant May 16, 2011 at 9:06 am #

    Successful launch! YAY!!!!!

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