Jazz is in for an awful long day!

12 May

Not one fucking bit of this motherfucking post is workfuckingsafe, so don’t fucking ask, ya stupidfuckingdouchenozzle. M’fucking’kay?
Good Morning, Jazz!!! As well as the rest of you miscreants.

What’s that spell?

Country Joe has a pubik service message for us all.

And yes, we did sing this song to cadence when I was in.

And who could forget this classic? [Aggie]

When you fucking care fucking enough to fucking send the very fucking best.

Jazz, Arnold has something to tell you.


Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

Just because.

188 Responses to “Jazz is in for an awful long day!”

  1. Dick May 12, 2011 at 7:42 am #

    Good morning, wiener sniffers!

  2. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 8:00 am #

    This poat reeks of fucking awesomeness!!

  3. Dick May 12, 2011 at 8:15 am #

    Fuckin’ A, it does. That’s for fucking sure!

  4. Dick May 12, 2011 at 8:17 am #

    Damn, ya have to click of the bottom pic to make it go full gif…
    Bummer.

    • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 8:26 am #

      I see what y’all are doing.

      Fucking good morning to you, too 🙂

  5. Dick May 12, 2011 at 8:36 am #

    Ladies, transsexuals, and homophobes, I’m off to see the wizard, aka work my ass off.
    Have a safe one!

    Jazz, what’s on your fuckin’ mind?

    • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 8:40 am #

      Have a fucking good day today, Dick.
      I’m having a fucking hard time fucking waking up this morning.

  6. Car in May 12, 2011 at 8:39 am #

    Morning fuckers.

  7. Car in May 12, 2011 at 8:40 am #

    You can put a comma in there. or not.

    Your choice.

    • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 8:42 am #

      Carin, you should do a fucking wakey fucking wakey

  8. Car in May 12, 2011 at 8:40 am #

    Me too PA. I used the wrong pillow last night and my head hurts.

    Ugh.

    Why do I do that?

  9. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 8:55 am #

    Where the fuck is my WAKEY WAKEY???

  10. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 8:55 am #

    Jazz is going laugh his fucking ass off. Or fucking break.

    One of the fucking two.

  11. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:07 am #

    I have to wonder where the fuck Dick gets his gifs and videos…

  12. Car in May 12, 2011 at 9:10 am #

    Sorry.

    Wakey fucking Wakey.

  13. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:15 am #

    Nice fucking post!

    Good fucking morning, Jazz? How’s your fucking day?

  14. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:15 am #

    I have to wonder where the fuck Dick gets his gifs and videos…

    I don’t want to know. No fucking way.

  15. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:33 am #

    I fucking hear ya, J’Ames.

  16. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:33 am #

    I kilt it fucking dead! *dances on post’s dead carcass

    • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 9:35 am #

      Im fucking lurking, j’Ames.

  17. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:35 am #

    Ya spoke too fucking soon, J’Ames 😛

  18. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:35 am #

    Why is it that every time someone posts a “kilt it” comment someone manages to get a fucking comment in before it?

    How is this statistically fucking possible?

  19. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:35 am #

    See, it fucking happened again!

  20. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:37 am #

    Using the word fuck sure makes you seem confrontational, doesn’t it?

    • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 9:42 am #

      Who’s fucking counting?

  21. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 9:41 am #

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    *twitch*

    😀

  22. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:42 am #

    Fuckin’ A it does, J’Ames.

    *gives J’Ames a fucking cookie*

  23. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 9:42 am #

    I’ve got a f@#% jones already!

    Good morning!

    This might be the funniest post ever. 😀

  24. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 9:43 am #

    This IS the funniest post ever! 😀

  25. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:44 am #

    Ok, who’s starting the pool for when

    1) Jazz fucking snaps
    3) Jazz drops an F bomb
    6) J’Ames shuts the fuck up

  26. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:45 am #

    I had a comment that was up disappear. Did someone delete it?

  27. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 9:46 am #

    Since I hang on your every word, Aggie, there’s not a chance in Hades it was me.

  28. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 9:47 am #

    You guys are pushing me to Puritanical policing of my language.

  29. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:47 am #

    Actually, I think it was J’Ames…

    *glares at J’Ames while mentally using the word “FUCKER!!”*

    • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 9:50 am #

      I can’t wait for Teresa to drop the “fuck” word 😉

      • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 9:52 am #

        If she does, then Jazz has truly won the intertubewebnets.

        • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 9:55 am #

          Aggie, I’m sure the comment deletion was a mistake. *fucking glares*

  30. xbradtc May 12, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    Fuck you, you fucking fucks!

  31. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    There is a fair chance Jazz will stroke out or snap as soon as he starts hitting his news links.

  32. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    Just to clarify, I am not upset that my comment was deleted, since it wasn’t a big deal.

    But I would like a heads-up before that happens 😉

  33. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:50 am #

    Fuck you, you fucking fucks!

    HA!! Fucking make me!!

    There is a fair chance Jazz will stroke out or snap as soon as he starts hitting his news links.

    I vote for “snap” 😀

  34. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 9:51 am #

    good morning, xbrad. 🙂

  35. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:52 am #

    Teresa dropping the F bomb will be EPIC 😀

  36. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:54 am #

    I am not an admin, so I do not have fucking delete powers.

    So fucking there!

  37. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    HA!!! Found my fucking comment and fucking RESTORED IT!!! 😛

    *victory lap around kitchen island*

  38. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    TiFW will not drop an F bomb.

    Bet me.

    • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 9:57 am #

      J’Ames, if she quotes any of us, she’s technically not drooping one but it will still count.

  39. xbradtc May 12, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    I’ve been up for an hour already. It’s taken me this fucking long to get out of bed, turn on the laptop,and get a cup of coffee…

    I’m like a fucking fireball in the morning…

  40. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:56 am #

    I do not have fucking delete powers.

    So fucking there!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Weirdly, it was there one minute, and then it was placed in the trash. I think Askimet is being a fucking bitch today.

  41. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:56 am #

    Slow the fuck down, xbrad. Don’t want to fucking overdo it.

  42. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:58 am #

    I think Askimet is being a fucking bitch today.

    Today? Hi, I’m the Internet, are you fucking new here?

  43. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:58 am #

    It’s way too fucking early for you, Brad.

    Was Dolly rough on you??

  44. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:59 am #

    J’Ames- 24, Aggie- 0

  45. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 10:00 am #

    J’Ames, if she quotes any of us, she’s technically not drooping one but it will still count.

    True, PA. But she’ll fucking edit it.

    And if she misses one, she’ll go BACK and fucking edit it. So we better get a fucking screen shot.

  46. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    I think J’Ames fucking wins for Best Jazz Impersonation.

    At least until Dick fucking gets back here.

  47. xbradtc May 12, 2011 at 10:03 am #

    Dolly got the night off. She’s in the desert, I’m in Irvine.

    Sox, however, decided that I needed to be jumped on a few times, particularly right on my bladder.

  48. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    Awwwww, Sox has fucking missed you, Brad. Cut him some slack.

    *gives Brad a chocolate brownie*

  49. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    I think J’Ames fucking wins for Best Jazz Impersonation.

    At least until Dick fucking gets back here.

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    This is starting to feel like a Dean Martin roast. 😛

  50. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 10:08 am #

    This is starting to feel like a Dean Martin roast.

    As long as it doesn’t turn into a William Shatner roast. That thing get fucking MEAN!

  51. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 10:09 am #

    And what is it about cats and their crotch ‘n boobs radar? Fucking things pick out the soft spots, don’t they?

  52. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 10:13 am #

    crotch ‘n boobs radar

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 10:19 am #

      I’m fucking speechless.

      • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 10:23 am #

        J’Ames, I have much more faith on Teresa than you do. She’ll figure out a fucking way. Just you wait and see.

  53. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 10:43 am #

    $100K lifeguards – represented by unions, of course.

    http://tinyurl.com/3ptu87k

    http://tinyurl.com/6hhsmvd

    http://tinyurl.com/6koklud

  54. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 10:43 am #

    Sorry, went to the fucking garage to fucking clean it out and fucking organize it, because there’s a motherfucking storm headed this way, with hail, and had to fucking put hubby’s car in the fucking garage to fucking protect it.

    I hope the motherfucking hail takes my fucking van out.

  55. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 10:44 am #

    HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

    It just started!!!

  56. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 10:46 am #

    I love this guy:

    “The biggest enemies of poor people and people in general is the United States government — that is making rules and regulations that systematically handicapped people.”

  57. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 10:48 am #

    Aggie, hail started, or the car?

    Let’s be fucking clear.

  58. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 10:49 am #

    I’ve always liked Walter E Williams. He’s great when he guest hosts for Rush.

    Not as fucking good as Mark Fucking Steyn, but the bar’s pretty fucking high, on that issue.

  59. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 10:50 am #

    Warm your hands and dry yourself by the white-hot heat of this stupid:

    “I think that that was seminal event in their lives, you know? This is the big deal for them growing up. And so I think that there is just a feeling now, not just with young people but getting over this feeling that maybe America’s kind of a loser. And now that we’re a winner, I think it’s very important.”

  60. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 10:51 am #

    Aggie, hail started, or the car?

    Fucking YEAH 😛

  61. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 10:51 am #

    Dana Loesch gets Uncivil, and the lefty reporter plays an offended “Miss Manners”: http://tinyurl.com/45xbgca

  62. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 10:52 am #

    I like Walter better than Mark Steyn. Walter’s disposition suits me better, and his voice doesn’t sound like someone’s stepping on Donald Duck.

  63. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 10:53 am #

    Well, if there’s one fucking thing Jan Schakowsky would know, it would be losers. Her husband was in prison, now a presidential advisor, she’s a shifty Chicago politician.

    I think she found something she’s extremely fucking good at.

  64. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 10:59 am #

    dear lord, i’m sweating and have tremors. I don’t know if I can do this.

    In the small town of Orcutt, California, a private association has raised donations to erect a flagpole and monument between a highway exit and a park-and-ride lot, at the entrance to the community’s Old Town section. The pole would hang the American flag, encircled by five pillars, one each for the U.S. Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard. The California Department of Transportation (CalTrans), however, has stymied the effort, calling it an impermissible act of “public expression.”

    http://tinyurl.com/3hpt8mz

  65. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:02 am #

    I’m surprised eddiebear hasn’t found us. The trap is baited. He should be here like a moth to a flame, a bear to honey, or xbrad to dolly.

  66. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:08 am #

    *TWITCH*

    Lawyers and bank consultants say regulators and the Obama Administration are scrutinizing financial institutions for a practice that last drew attention before the rise of subprime lending: redlining. The term dates from the 1930s, when the Federal Housing Administration drew up maps using red ink to delineate inner-city neighborhoods considered too risky for lending. Congress later passed laws banning lending discrimination on the basis of race and other characteristics. “The agencies have refocused on redlining because, in the wake of the subprime explosion and sudden implosion, they are looking at these disadvantaged neighborhoods and not seeing any credit access,” says Jo Ann Barefoot, co-chair at Treliant Risk Advisors in Washington, D.C., which consults with banks on regulatory issues.

    So, in the wake of the subprime mortgage meltdown, Obama is forcing banks to make . . . subprime loans.

    My charity is worn thin – and that comment is only tangentially directed at the subprime borrowers. Ghetto-nomics are killing us.

  67. GMLand May 12, 2011 at 11:15 am #

    this is one For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge’ing funny poat.

    There’s a way around everything Jazz!

  68. xbradtc May 12, 2011 at 11:15 am #

    Jazz, I saw that about Orcutt and CalTrans. And while CalTrans is fubar’d, they’re not really the ones to blame. They know the 9th Circuit has already ruled on the substance of the mater, and they are in a lose/lose position.

    The 9th Circuit should be abolished,and the current members shunned by society, polite and otherwise.

    • PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 11:17 am #

      Guy, don’t be a fucker.

  69. GMLand May 12, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    PA – your not my pimp!

  70. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:19 am #

    xbrad, I understand how CalTrans got to its position. I’m just marveling at the absurdity of it.

  71. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:21 am #

    GML, you’re not using the password, and if you don’t take up the cause, you will be shunned. I, apparently, am the only one not carpeting this joint with f-bombs today. Get with the program, Pokey.

  72. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 11:23 am #

    Jazz check your fucking email.

    Guy, get with the fucking program 😛

  73. GMLand May 12, 2011 at 11:23 am #

    Fuck On!

  74. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:25 am #

    Neato:

    Remember Fukushima? The exploded nuclear power plant that everyone was talking about two months ago and now the media has imposed a complete blackout on, because out of print/page views, means out of radioactive spewage, right? Wrong. According to the latest update from a now government funded TEPCO, “fuel rods are fully exposed in the No. 1 reactor at its stricken Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear plant, setting back the utility’s plan to resolve the crisis. The water level is 1 meter (3.3 feet) below the base of the fuel assembly, Junichi Matsumoto, a general manager at the utility known as Tepco, told reporters at a briefing in Tokyo. Melted fuel has dropped to the bottom of the pressure vessel and is still being cooled, Matsumoto said.

    http://tinyurl.com/3gy7kbc

  75. GuyS May 12, 2011 at 11:27 am #

    Good morning all fuckers and fuckettes!!! Aggie, hope you got the hubbies vehicle in the garage before the hail hit. We are about 1500 miles north of you (as the fucking crow flies) and even we are supposed to be getting some pretty fucking big t-storms later today. We shall see.

    Did intercept a prank phone call this morning. Looks like some one was trying to prank call my father in law. Trying to scam him out of a few bucks, ain’t gonna happen on my watch.

  76. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 12, 2011 at 11:27 am #

    Morning, fornicators!

    *curtsies and skips off*

  77. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:27 am #

    Steny Hoyer (D-MD.), House Minority Whip and the second-ranking member of the Democratic Leadership, has parted ways with President Obama. Hoyer told reporters that he was “not in agreement with the administration” and that he didn’t think such disclosure “ought to be a requirement.” Hoyer echoed fears expressed by Republican members of Congress that this would bring political considerations into government contracting, saying that “The issue of contracting ought to be on the merits of the contactor’s application and bid and capabilities.” Hoyer added that there “are some serious questions as to what implications there are if somehow we consider political contributions in the context of awarding contracts.”

    http://tinyurl.com/6huf39m

  78. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:29 am #

    Ron Paul sucks dog balls.

  79. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 11:30 am #

    MOM, TIFW WON’T DROP AN F BOMB!

    Fucker.

  80. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 12, 2011 at 11:30 am #

    Wow – one of Steny’s big-money contributors must rely on government contracts…..

  81. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 12, 2011 at 11:32 am #

    Bite me, J’Ames.

    Start at my neck and work your way down….

  82. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:32 am #

    We are in some dire economic times right now, and we have an activist government that is saying one thing but doing another. It is telling us how critical jobs are to our economy on the one hand while, in two very important examples, doing everything in their power to discourage large American companies from creating them.

    This is nothing more than political payback and cronyism. At risk are the lives and livelihoods of thousands of Americans, put at risk to satisfy a political agenda. The oil industry is not a favored industry of the left, so the administration and Democrats are doing their level best to drive it off, just when untold amounts of new fossil energy has been discovered (shale). Boeing, on the other hand, isn’t serving a favored constituency as the administration and Democrats would prefer. So they have attacked that company as well.

    http://tinyurl.com/6gvzsel

  83. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:34 am #

    Post-Rapture pet-care:

    Bart guarantees that if or when the Rapture comes he or one of his 44 contractors in 26 states will drive to your home within 24 hours, collect your dog, cat, bird, rabbit or small caged mammal, and adopt it. (Rapture rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys are limited to New Hampshire, Vermont, Idaho and Montana.)

    The cost is $135, plus $20 per additional animal. Payable upfront, of course, and good for 10 years.

    http://tinyurl.com/44rtqww

  84. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 12, 2011 at 11:36 am #

    PA – your not my pimp!

    PA has the strongest fecking pimp hand here.

    You can get with the fecking program, or she’ll beat you down in front of everyone, and then put your ass back on the fecking corner where it belongs.

  85. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:40 am #

    Rick Perry beats on Barry-O:

    “This is a president who is more interested in trying out for Saturday Night Live it seems like….the guy’s a stand up comic, and that was what he was playing to. The fact of the matter is, Americans don’t want a stand-up comic for the President of the United States….Anyone who knows what’s happening on the border of Texas and Mexico, or for that matter the southern border of the United States with Mexico realizes this is not comedy, there are people’s lives in jeopardy every day.”

    The clip is BRUTAL. Perry takes it to Obama like The Sisters to Andy Dufresne.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkVT9Xn_05M

  86. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:43 am #

    From Watts Up With That:

    [T]he poor siting of a significant number of climate reference sites (USHCN) used by NOAA’s National Climatic Data Center (NCDC) to monitor surface air temperatures has led to inaccuracies and larger uncertainties in the analysis of multi-decadal surface temperature anomalies and trends than assumed by NCDC.

    http://tinyurl.com/3r5v8zu

  87. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:45 am #

    #$@% you, unions!

    If we were to use a conservative figure of $50 per month for union dues, in 2010, unions collected $735,000,000 per month in union dues from America’s unionized workers. Multiply $735,000,000 by 12 months and you get a whopping $8,820,000,000 that was collected in union dues in 2010.

    Divide $8,820,000,000 by $33,227 and you’ll find that if unions did not take union dues from workers in 2010, 265,447 workers’ jobs could have been supported.

    http://tinyurl.com/422hm5z

  88. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 11:52 am #

    Hahahahahahahahah!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j4TjdEuJJg

    Background: http://tinyurl.com/3ez6efw

  89. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm #

    Herman Cain is picking up steam?

    http://tinyurl.com/3mx9flx

  90. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

    You know what? I’m convinced that when Mitch McConnell does something right, it’s purely a the result of random chance. What a chucklehead.

    Today, McConnell named Burr to Finance giving a highly valuable position to a guy whose Senate career is marked by being pro-amnesty, pro-TARP, and an author of S-CHIP.

    http://tinyurl.com/3mzwyj7

  91. Car in May 12, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

    Herman Cain is picking up steam? </em?

    That's impossible. Hugh Hewitt told us he wasn't a serious candidate

    OMG, my dog just farted and it smells like she just took a big (fucking) dump right next to me.

  92. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

    Jim Lehrer is retiring.

    http://tinyurl.com/3slaewq

    Good riddance.

  93. Car in May 12, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    FUCK YOU HTML

  94. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

    Top ten powers in Congressional redistricting: http://tinyurl.com/3k3fu2t

  95. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    Jazz, I was quite upset with the Prez’ SNL skit in El Paso. His remarks about the moat left me furious. I was screaming at the TV:

    HEY, FUCKTARD!!! WE ALREADY HAVE A MOAT!!! IT’S CALLED THE RIO GRANDE RIVER, ASSHOLE!!!!

    I was not happy yesterday…

  96. GuyS May 12, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    If you can’t fight the facts with fantasy and wishful thinking, change the facts to fit your fantasy!!

    “…Faced with the embarrassing fact that sea level is not rising nearly as much as has been predicted, the University of Colorado’s NASA-funded Sea Level Research Group has announced it will begin adding a nonexistent 0.3 millimeters per year to its Global Mean Sea Level Time Series. As a result, alarmists will be able to present sea level charts asserting an accelerating rise in sea level that is not occurring in the real world.”

    With a big h/t to Soylent Green for being the first one to pick up on this fucktardedness. Who do these cumbubbles think they are fooling?

  97. HTML May 12, 2011 at 12:10 pm #

    Fuck you right back, Car-in!

  98. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:11 pm #

    Not only is the timing transparent, the message is recycled and the rhetoric stale.

    President Barack Obama is preparing a fresh outreach to the Muslim world in coming days, senior U.S. officials say. . . Mr. Obama, who has made outreach to the Muslim world a cornerstone of his presidency, plans to describe the Islamic world as at a crossroads, said U.S. officials, making the case that bin Laden represented a failed approach of the past while populist movements brewing in the Middle East and North Africa represent the future.

    http://tinyurl.com/3qzhk6x

    Boilerplate tripe. I can see the AP Mad-Lib form:

    Mr. Obama, who has made ______________ a cornerstone of his presidency, plans to describe ___________ as at a crossroads, said U.S. officials, making the case that __________ represented a failed approach of the past while __________ represent the future.

  99. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 12:12 pm #

    Just tell me this. Who is the RNC backing? That way I’ll know who not to support.

    I’m liking Cain. I want to believe.

    Fuck the RNC.

  100. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 12:12 pm #

    Who do these cumbubbles think they are fooling?

    Hm….ecowackos with money to burn?

  101. GuyS May 12, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    Aggie, why in the hell didn’t some real Texans kick his immigrant ass (our half Kenyan Usurper in Thief) over the border while he was down there spinning tall tales. As much as he loves his Mexican butt buddy, Felipe Calderon, you would think he would feel right at home there.

  102. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

    More Presidential gutsy calls, courtesy of Ann Coulter:

    Last week, Obama made the gutsy call to threaten public schools that are asking students for proof of residency. The memorandum warned school districts that it’s illegal to ask students for proof of citizenship or legal residency status.

    http://tinyurl.com/yv2x6

  103. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

    HEY, FUCKTARD!!! WE ALREADY HAVE A MOAT!!! IT’S CALLED THE RIO GRANDE RIVER, ASSHOLE!!!!

    You know what the Rio Grande needs?

    Alligators.

  104. GuyS May 12, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    Jay, the more I see, read, and hear about Cain, the more I like him. Perhaps have either West, Bachmann, or Rubio as his running mate, and we would have a ticket almost impossible to beat!

  105. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 12:19 pm #

    why in the hell didn’t some real Texans kick his immigrant ass (our half Kenyan Usurper in Thief) over the border while he was down there spinning tall tales

    Because he made sure to go to a city where the illegals outnumbered citizens by 3 to 1.

  106. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:19 pm #

    Imperious Rex (The Emperor King):

    As you will recall, the beginning of the end of liberty in Rome commenced with Augustus Caesar who compromised the authority of the Senate through the force of arms and basically the Senate became a facade. America is poised with this proposed bill, to morph immediately from a Republic into an empire with the privileged eunuchs of the Senate as window dressing and a dictator – the first American Caesar – at the country’s helm.

    http://tinyurl.com/3hmxau8

  107. GuyS May 12, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    And I thought we had more Asians/Eastern Europeans illegally entering this country in either equal or larger numbers then (specifically) the Mexicans. Unless, of course, the media/government are being racist (no…..really??? [/sarc]) by lumping all Hispanics together.

  108. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 12:21 pm #

    Cain/Palin would be my choice. But seeing how 50% of Republicans are fucking idiots, they probably wouldn’t vote for her. So I’m all for Bachmann.

    A black guy, and a woman. It would cause a time rip which would swallow at least 2 special interest groups.

  109. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:21 pm #

    Howard Fineman is worried.

    Even in the midst of the supposed bounce President Obama got after U.S. troops killed Osama bin Laden and Liberals are declaring the 2012 election over, Howard Finemen does not want Obama judged on his performance. That says they are worried about his chances for re-election

    http://tinyurl.com/6csdq2f

  110. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:25 pm #

    Remember NY-26 and Dido Scuzzyfavor? More shenanigans in the wheelhouse: http://tinyurl.com/3m5jt6z

  111. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    I’m as excited about the prospect of a Gingrich presidency as I am about the prospect of a long night with a toothless, geriatric, herpes-ridden, HIVed-up, midget-amputee hooker.

  112. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 12, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    I was talking with my pator last night, and I told him that I honestly think that this administration is trying to give us “outrage fatigue”.

    When he said he wasn’t sure he understood me, I told him that we are in a place where it isn’t even one story a day about the government doing or saying something that would have brought a stunned silence or stare years ago, its the cascade of 2, 3, 4 such events a day. Add to that a President who clearly cannot stop himself from lying almost every time he opens his mouth, and a press that simply allows him to do so unchallenged, and it just feels like the equivalent of trying to get us to that last child stage of parenthood from the first one. You know, how with the first child, it is “You can’t date until you’re 25, and with the last one, it is “Don’t do heroin in the living room.”, only instead, it is trying to take us from the ideal that government is to serve us by performing specific duties in an efficient and economical manner, to assuming that government is corrupt, bloated, dishonest, and mendacious, and hoping against hope that if we keep our heads down and just keep quiet, that it won’t steal all our money and might let us continue to believe that we are its masters and not the other way around.

    He said “You could drive a person to drink, you know.”

  113. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 12:30 pm #

    re: Gingrich president

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/teducation/2691785531/

    Enough fucking said.

  114. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    He said “You could drive a person to drink, you know.

    -25,456,589,734,258 Nobels for not dropping an f-bomb.

    And don’t drink and drive.

    You’re welcome. 🙂

  115. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:33 pm #

    Interesting. Can I believe any studies put out by academics, though?

    The Daily Mail reports a study consisting of 83 experiments led by a Swiss researcher found that cell phones placed beneath hives caused bees to fly erratically, then die.

    Bees also got — to use a scientific term — noticeably more pissed off when the cell phones made or received calls, amping noise in the hive up to 10 times normal levels.

    http://tinyurl.com/3qhe523

  116. GuyS May 12, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

    Perhaps if the bees had call forwarding and or call awaiting they would be somewhat more mellow? *snort*

  117. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

    Lowering the stupid bar:

    The City University of New York, which has already outraged Israel supporters with its decision to honor anti-Israel playwright Tony Kushner, will also be taking the unusual step of flying a Palestinian flag at the upcoming commencement for City College, a spokesperson for the university told me today.

    “The City College flies all of the flags that are flown at the United Nations,” the Vice President for Communications Mary Lou Edmondson told me. “It has nothing to do with foreign policy.”

    But there’s one problem—the United Nations doesn’t fly the Palestinian flag. It only flies the flags of its 192 member states.

  118. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    Enough fucking said.

    That should have been his final farewell tour.

  119. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

    I have been on the phone with BAMC all this time. Why? Because I can’t make it to my mammogram appt, and they seemingly can’t accommodate me.

  120. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    OBAMA: Let me just first of all say that workers like you, for the federal, state, and local governments, are so important for our vital services. And it frustrates me sometimes when people talk about ‘government jobs’ as if somehow those are worth less than private sector jobs. I think there is nothing more important than working on behalf of the American people.

    FEDERAL WORKER: I thought I would be more important and secure.

    OBAMA: I agree with you.

    http://tinyurl.com/627h65r

    If you can stomach it, watch the clip.

  121. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:49 pm #

    WSJ beats on Romney:

    In reality, his ostensible liberal allies like the late Ted Kennedy saw an opening to advance their own priorities, and in Mr. Romney they took advantage of a politician who still doesn’t seem to understand how government works. It’s no accident that RomneyCare’s most vociferous defenders now are in the White House and left-wing media and think tanks. They know what happened, even if he doesn’t.

    ***
    For a potential President whose core argument is that he knows how to revive free market economic growth, this amounts to a fatal flaw. Presidents lead by offering a vision for the country rooted in certain principles, not by promising a technocracy that runs on “data.” Mr. Romney’s highest principle seems to be faith in his own expertise.

  122. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:51 pm #

    Because I can’t make it to my mammogram appt, and they seemingly can’t accommodate me.

    I happen to have an opening in my schedule for titty-squeezin’. No more than an hour, though. I do have other stuff to do.

    Just offering. 😛

  123. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

    Anyone here own or ever owned an Audi? They strike me as the German K-car, and I’ve never appreciated their styling. That said, I’m really curious about them. Anyone have anything good or bad to say about Audis?

  124. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    lunching. be back around 2.

  125. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 12, 2011 at 1:01 pm #

    I had a client who owned a TT.

    I think it was a really rough ride, and since it was a convertible, it was noisy as Hell, too.

  126. GuyS May 12, 2011 at 1:01 pm #

    Building a “manufactured” bookcase, will be in and out of here, as breaks and time permit.

  127. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    I happen to have an opening in my schedule for titty-squeezin’

    Well, I would take you up on it, but you are a bit too far away.

    Mw Audi no likey. I never owned one, but we had tried them out while car shopping, and every time, it felt too uncomfortable to drive. As a passenger it was fine, though.

  128. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:04 pm #

    Well, I would take you up on it, but you are a bit too far away.

    That’s good. I was really uncomfortable saying that to a married woman.

  129. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  130. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 12, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    Its cool. She has a machete, you know.

  131. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    Ok, I need idea for a new poll at H&B.

    Start fucking spewing.

  132. Car in May 12, 2011 at 1:19 pm #

    Jazz, Rush had that on his show.

    Unbelievable.

  133. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:19 pm #

    Cool. I’m a HUGE Floyd fan.

    On September 26th, a remastered Dark Side of the Moon will be released both as a six-disc “Immersion” box set, as well as a two-disc “Experience” set and a vinyl LP. Fourteen remastered Pink Floyd albums will also be released at that time, both separately and as a box set. Then, on November 7th, Wish You Were Here will be released in five-disc and two-disc versions, along with the single-disc collection, A Foot in the Door: The Best of Pink Floyd. And on February 27th, The Wall will appear in a seven-disc “Immersion” version and a three-disc “Experience” set.

    The set includes a “Wish You Were Here” demo with Stephane Grappelli wailing on violin, which Mason greeted with wonder upon hearing it. “That is just fantastic,” he said. “I had assumed it was lost. The incredible thing is that [classical violinist] Yehudi Menuhin was there as well, but he never went in to play, because he felt that he couldn’t improvise.”

  134. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:22 pm #

    Photo essay: Decaying military monuments in the former Yugoslavia

  135. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:28 pm #

    Unbelievable.

    Not for a shitweasel socialist.

  136. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    An interesting account and analysis of arguments in the 11 Circuit Court of Appeals hearing on the ObamaCare appeal.

    http://tinyurl.com/6kg3vtt

  137. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:33 pm #

    Speaking of ObamaCare,

    [I]n an unusual rebuke, an umbrella group representing premier organizations such as the Mayo Clinic wrote the administration Wednesday saying that more than 90 percent of its members would not participate, because the rules as written are so onerous it would be nearly impossible for them to succeed.

  138. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    That Republican FCC Chair whose departure to lobby for Comcast is raising some eyebrows was appointed by Obama.

    Baker joined the FCC in July 2009, around the same time that Obama nominated Democratic commissioner Mignon Clyburn, and the Senate confirmed current FCC chairman Julius Genachowski.

    If she was chosen by Obama, we can be assured that Baker was a RINO, and this should be no surprise.

  139. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:41 pm #

    Irony, thy name is Hypocrisy.

    Hipocracy, thy name is Irony.

    Both you guys, meet Julian Assange and WikiLeaks:

    Today, the New Statesman can reveal the extent of [WikiLeak’s] legal eccentricity as we publish a copy of the draconian and extraordinary legal gag that WikiLeaks imposes on its own staff.

    Clause 5 of this “Confidentiality Agreement” (PDF) imposes a penalty of “£12,000,000 – twelve million pounds sterling” on anyone who breaches this legal gag.

  140. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 1:44 pm #

    Holy fucking shit…TWELVE MILLION POUNDS, STERLING???

  141. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 12, 2011 at 1:45 pm #

    I’m back!!!!
    Had to get a permanent filling on top of the root canal, and then took the van in for its routine maintenance.

    DD#2 is back from school, and we are at loggerheads already – it’s gonna be a LOOOONG summer….

    And why does Jazz get to skate by quoting other people using the F-word, but I don’t get to?

    It’s almost like you guys are the media and I’m a Republican officeholder –

  142. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 12, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    The last box set I put the money down for was Steely Dan Citizen

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD_DyoB4Cjs

  143. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 1:47 pm #

    From Baker’s bio:

    Ms. Baker was Vice President at the firm of Williams Mullen Strategies where she focused on telecommunications, intellectual property, and international trade issues. Earlier, she held the position as Senior Counsel to Covad Communications from 2000 to 2002, and Director of Congressional Affairs at the Cellular Telecommunications Industry Association (CTIA) from 1998 to 2000. Ms. Baker worked at the U.S. Court of Appeals Fifth Circuit in Houston and later at the law firm of DeLange and Hudspeth, L.L.P. From 1990 to 1992, she worked in the Legislative Affairs Office of the U.S. Department of State in Washington.

    RINO is too kind a term, Jazz.

  144. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

    Hahhaha- I’ve avoided even writing the f-bomb until this story. Normally, I’d have lots of nice things to say about all things Texas, but Dallas is wrong on this, and it knows it. I dropped the f-bomb twice when I read about what the city is doing, but this news introduces a sweet subplot to the story:

    http://tinyurl.com/66q9cya

    If you want to see the exegesis of my disdain:

    http://tinyurl.com/3zqt7jw

    Expeshully – EXPESHULLY – that turdburglar cop’s statement. Sgt. Corporal Kevin Jance is a bleeping blowjob artist.

    TiFW, quoting the f-bomb doesn’t count.

  145. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    The last box set I put the money down for was Steely Dan Citizen

    Eric Clapton’s “Crossroads” for me.

  146. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 12, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

    Now I’m waiting for the Blue Rodeo box set.

    It will likely cost $800.00 and contain 40 discs, but the auralgasms will make it all worth it.

  147. xbradtc May 12, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    Fuck you, Jazz.

  148. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 2:28 pm #

    Dallas is liberal, Jazz. In fact, most large cities in Texas are. Katrina refugees tipped the balance in some areas, but I am conforted by the fact that that young woman’s family came here from CO to get a better life.

  149. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm #

    Dallas is liberal, Jazz. In fact, most large cities in Texas are.

    FIFY

  150. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 2:41 pm #

    J’Ames, I can always fucking count on you 😀

  151. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 12, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

    Jazz May 12, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    TiFW, quoting the f-bomb doesn’t count.

    Nay, not so, fair sir! I refer you to Exhibit A:

    PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 9:50 am
    I can’t wait for Teresa to drop the “f***” word

    LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 9:52 am
    Teresa dropping the F bomb will be EPIC

    PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 9:52 am
    If she does, then Jazz has truly won the intertubewebnets

    And we can’t have that…..

    Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 9:55 am
    TiFW will not drop an F bomb.
    Bet me.

    See, up until this point, I thought I’d be able to skate by just quoting what other people wrote. Then PattyAnn had to go and define the rules of the game:

    PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 9:57 am
    J’Ames, if she quotes any of us, she’s technically not dropping one but it will still count.

    SHIT.

    Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 10:00 am
    True, PA. But she’ll f***ing edit it.
    And if she misses one, she’ll go BACK and f***ing edit it. So we better get a f***ing screen shot.

    So, I had an out – by editing the words in question, I would still be able to hold to the letter of my self-imposed f-word ban.

    PattyAnn May 12, 2011 at 10:23 am
    J’Ames, I have much more faith on Teresa than you do. She’ll figure out a f***ing way. Just you wait and see.

    Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 12, 2011 at 11:27 am
    Morning, fornicators!
    *curtsies and skips off*

    I am nothing, if not creative…..

  152. Dick May 12, 2011 at 2:46 pm #

    How in the FUCK is everybody today?

    Me? I’m doing great cause I just received a letter from Donny! (He misses Kelly’s banana pudding)
    They went through Marlinspike as a team and scored the highest in the division!

  153. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 2:46 pm #

    I am nothing, if not creative…..

    Teresa FTW!!!

  154. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

    They went through Marlinspike as a team and scored the highest in the division!

    WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Congrats to Stinky!!!

    And I’m fucking fine 😀

  155. Dick May 12, 2011 at 2:51 pm #

    I’d type out this letter he wrote, but it’s a fucking four pager.

  156. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 2:54 pm #

    Dick, we got a massive cell come through here and drop a serious amount of rain. Had to cancel the mammogram appt, and those fuckers couldn’t fit me in until almost July.

    GAH!!!

  157. Dick May 12, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    Don’t sweat it, Aggie. I can now do mammograms simply by using email.

    Glad ya got the rain you wanted.

  158. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 3:02 pm #

    I can now do mammograms simply by using email.

    Doc Dick??

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  159. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 3:15 pm #

    I’m back. It’s hot and sticky here today. I’m hot, sticky, sweet from my head to my feet. Woa-oh.

  160. Dick May 12, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    I’m hot, sticky, sweet from my head to my feet. Woa-oh.

    That’s only good when you’re with a woman.

  161. Dick May 12, 2011 at 3:17 pm #

    Jazz, how’s the fuck-a-thon going?

  162. Dick May 12, 2011 at 3:19 pm #

    Aggie, I’m a doc/bricklayer.

  163. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    I must congratulate you on avoiding an f bomb, TiFW.

    But I will note, no one bet me! I knew you had it in ya!

  164. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 3:23 pm #

    A Doctor of Masonry? That’s also an MD, right??

    I’m hot, sticky, sweet from my head to my feet.

    Def Leppard wants royalties 😀

  165. Jay in Ames May 12, 2011 at 3:24 pm #

    Aggie, I’m a doc/bricklayer.

    See, more Star Trek jokes. I love this fucking place.

  166. LC Aggie Sith May 12, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    But I see Dick being more like Khan 😀

  167. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 3:32 pm #

    Jazz, how’s the fuck-a-thon going?

    It’s not. I am tentatively proud of myself. Almost.

  168. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX May 12, 2011 at 3:35 pm #

    F-Word Nazi here –
    Jazz is technically in violation of his one-day f-bomb ban:

    https://uncivilpeasants.wordpress.com/2011/05/12/jazz-is-in-for-an-awful-long-day/#comment-15997

    Straighten up and fly right, young man…..

  169. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 3:36 pm #

    I have to say, I’ve thought the word incessantly throughout the day. The only place I’m not dropping the f-bomb is in writing.

    Self-improvement sucks.

  170. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

    Jazz is technically in violation of his one-day f-bomb ban:

    Au contrere! Jazz made this decision and set the rules for himself before anyone joined in. Everyone else is a poseur, and the rules they make do not apply to him. Think of it as an almost federal relationship: I’m federal property governed by the Constitution, y’all are 10th Amendmenters and can do whatever your States allow. But if your rules conflict with mine, mine win!

  171. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 3:44 pm #

    The Cali legislature is covering important issues of the day:

    That’s the weighty question facing the California Legislature, which is considering a bill that would regulate what type of sheets can be used on hotel bed mattresses across the state.

  172. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 12, 2011 at 3:51 pm #

    Think of it as an almost federal relationship: I’m federal property governed by the Constitution, y’all are 10th Amendmenters and can do whatever your States allow. But if your rules conflict with mine, mine win!

    *chambers round*

  173. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    *chambers round*

    Under my rules, you are free to do that. The 2nd Amendment is unimpaired in my world.

  174. Dick May 12, 2011 at 4:07 pm #

    Think of it as an almost federal relationship: I’m federal property governed by the Constitution, y’all are 10th Amendmenters and can do whatever your States allow. But if your rules conflict with mine, mine win!

    Come to Texas and say that shit, then you’d best run for your life.
    On the other hand, if I’m the nigga behind the trigger, your ass is gonna die very tired.

  175. Jazz May 12, 2011 at 4:09 pm #

    From an Ed Morrissey piece at HotAir:

    I still think Obama’s was gutsy as well. The evidence supporting bin Laden’s presence in the Abbottabad compound was not cut and dried, as former Bush-era CIA Director Michael Hayden explained a few days ago; instead, it was entirely circumstantial.

    I have real problems with this characterization. The media, entertainment, and defense lawyers all denigrate the value of “circumstantial evidence.” Direct evidence is not inherently trusworthy: Witness recollections can be colored by time and memory loss or distortion; eye-witnesses are often among the most unreliable witnesses, because at the time a crime is committed, many, many witnesses’ ability to process information is being impaired by natural reaction of shock and surprise. Cameras are limited by perpsective, optics, and lighting. Circumstantial evidence is often more reliable and a better indicator of guilt that so-called firsthand, direct evidence. And with bin Laden, I don’t think it’s been any secret that an element of the Packies’ military-intelligence community has been sabotaging efforts to find bin Laden. If there’s poop and bones piled outside of a hole, you can safely bet that something carniverous inhabits the hole as a lair. Same thing with bin Laden: If good circumstantial evidence showed he was there, a decider shouldn’t second-guess his decision based on the kind of evidence one has. And the value of that evidence is not necessarily impaired because of it’s circumstantial nature.

    That was muddled. I hope you got it.

  176. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere May 12, 2011 at 4:13 pm #

    New outrage poat.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: