Hey Dick!

21 Apr

This girl I met, she says she knows you.

See her in the pic? Back over by the telephone pole…

125 Responses to “Hey Dick!”

  1. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 3:44 pm #

    “I come from a land down under,
    where woman glow and la la la,
    can’t you hear can’t you hear the thunder?,
    something something la la la”

  2. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 21, 2011 at 3:52 pm #

    From last poat:

    That story is full of liberal win TiFW.

    Yeah – I guess only the Democrats would pee in their own cage, huh?

    Which got me to thinking – when they were talking about Libya (and really, most countries over in the Middle East), they said that the people who are able to hold power over there are the ones who find enough “common ground” to bring together the most tribes.

    Doesn’t that sound a lot like the Democrat Party? It’s really nothing more than a whole bunch of special interest groups who all have their own agenda – “To Hell with what those other groups want, as long as I get mine” – all cobbled together and led by whichever person can manage to wrangle all of them.

    They won’t ever be able to work together, because they aren’t fighting for a common cause. Eventually, they’re going to split apart and then regroup.

    I guess we need to come at this whole “Defeat the Democrats” from a foreign policy/military angle. As the Israelis always say, “If you want to win a war, fight Arabs”….

    I’m thinkin’ the Dems are essentially the political equivalent of the Arabs.

  3. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 3:55 pm #

    Guy – Djew make up that song?

  4. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    listening to my 80’s station on Pandora, that group led by the guy with Walleye vision came on… never was able to pin down the lyrics.

  5. Jay in Ames April 21, 2011 at 3:58 pm #

    Hmm, I’ve got a craving for vegemite, and I’ve never tried it. From what I’ve heard, I would not like it.

  6. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

    “Guy just smiles
    and gives J’Ames
    the/a vegemite sammich”

  7. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 4:01 pm #

    “Dying in a den in Bombay
    With a slack jaw, and nothin’ much to say
    I said to the man, “Are you trying to tempt me
    Because I come from the land of plenty?”

  8. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 21, 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    Get a room, you two (Guy and J’Ames) – there’s some things polite folk don’t wanna know about.

    “Going Brokeback” is one of ’em….

  9. Jay in Ames April 21, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

    I met a strange lady, she made me nervous.
    She took me in and gave me breakfast.

  10. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

    “Do you come from a land down under?
    Where women glow and men plunder?
    Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
    You better run, you better take cover.”

  11. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 21, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

    Who can it be now?

  12. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 4:14 pm #

    Who can it be knocking at my door?
    Go ‘way, don’t come ’round here no more.
    Can’t you see that it’s late at night?
    I’m very tired, and I’m not feeling right

  13. Dick April 21, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

    All I wish is to be alone;
    Stay away, don’t you invade my home.
    Best off if you hang outside,
    Don’t come in – I’ll only run and hide.

  14. Dick April 21, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

    Guy, if I remember correctly, I nailed her in (insert any town’s name here).

  15. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 4:20 pm #

    Dick – WTF is Stinky’s story?

  16. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 4:21 pm #

    I can’t get to sleep
    I think about the implications
    Of diving in too deep
    And possibly the complications

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iuhQ2QWjKA

    Best version EVER. Way better than the original.

  17. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 4:22 pm #

    Guy, if I remember correctly, I nailed her in (insert any town’s name here).

    – – – – –

    Cut N’ Shoot?

    (for you non-Texans, that is a real town… just north of Conroe)

  18. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 4:28 pm #

    Hahahahah! Futbol players are silly!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXxSuzRpTps

  19. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 4:28 pm #

    Jazz – Good tune – excellent version.

  20. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 4:29 pm #

    There is a very good chance that I will be keeping up with you slugs on my shiny new iPad this weekend. Of course, there is a possibility that I won’t either…

  21. Jay in Ames April 21, 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    GMLand, don’t tell Car in. It will rub the shine right off her new iPhone.

  22. Dick April 21, 2011 at 4:32 pm #

    Don’t forget Gun Barrel City and Muleshoe.

  23. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    did you get inside her in Vidor?

  24. Dick April 21, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

  25. Dick April 21, 2011 at 4:35 pm #

    Naww… The postal workers in that shit town wanted their turn.

  26. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

    The only thing that sucks worse than an iPhone is the company that makes it.

    That is all.

  27. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

    Jazz – But, appletinis?

  28. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    Appletinis are the work of a very queer devil, but queer != suck. It’s a pretty safe bet, of course, but not necessarily true.

  29. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 4:53 pm #

    For a young man, Jazz is a grumpy old fucker!

  30. Dick April 21, 2011 at 4:53 pm #

    Apple is the devil as far as I’m concerned.
    No way in hell they’ll ever knowingly get a penny from me.

  31. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 4:55 pm #

    just for clarification – it will be a gift from dear mother in law!

  32. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

    I come back to this??

  33. Dick April 21, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

    Guy, I hold no ill will toward owners of Apple products.

    *crosses Guy off hawt lesbian Hanukkah porn list*

  34. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

    Dick, Hubby’s grandparents hail from Malakoff, so we are quite familiar with Gun Barrel City. And of course, Tool. The city, not the group.

  35. Dick April 21, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

    Where have you been, young lady?

    *impatiently taps watch bezel*

  36. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

    I swear I will use for devious purposes, just please don’t cross me off that list!!!

  37. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    Am I still on that list, Dick? Because I have an old iPhone….

    But in my defense, Hubby bought it. Not me.

  38. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

    I had a scrapbooking class today, and another tomorrow, Dick.

    But here’s your tequila.

    *slides Cuervo Black over*

  39. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

    Guy, I don’t harbor any ill will to my friends that own Apples. Of course, I don’t have any. 🙂

    Seriously, I have an iPhone, and I hate the fucking thing. Since this is a repeated screed and I’m just realizing it, I won’t belabor the point, but I’m not speaking from ignorance. Apple sucks anal dew.

  40. Dick April 21, 2011 at 5:04 pm #

    I could care less what other folks buy, unless Apple suddenly comes out with a three piston asshammer.
    Then I’ll have issues.

  41. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 5:05 pm #

    You can bet your middle eye it would be a “green” three piston asshammer that ran on unicorn farts and dreams.

  42. Dick April 21, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    I used to be a slave to a Blackberry. Loved and hated it at the same time.
    Now I have a dogshit (free) flip phone. It, I really love.

  43. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    J to the Azz – we have 2 of the debblish iPhones in our house as well. I am BB man, through and through.

  44. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 5:08 pm #

    The only green Apple I know is Granny Smith, Guy.

    Apple would make sure the three piston asshammer would run on a battery that would need a replacement after two months use, and hold only a 3 hour charge.

  45. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    I am BB DD man, through and through.

    Fixeted 😀

  46. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    You can bet your middle eye it would be a “green” three piston asshammer that ran on unicorn farts and dreams.

    Another reason to hate Apple – it’s a liberal’s Harley Davidson, i.e., status symbol. Hierarchy is important in the gutter.

  47. GMLand April 21, 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    BB, DD… FF, through and through!

  48. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 21, 2011 at 5:12 pm #

    No iTampons in my house.

    The Mrs. got a Crackberry when she started her new job, though. I have a fairly simple flip phone. I see no point in owning an appliance that is smarterer than I am, and that could be used to spy on me at that same time. But isuckers don’t seem to mind. I’m happy for them.

  49. Dick April 21, 2011 at 5:15 pm #

    Almost bought a Harley Fatboy about ten years back on my lunch break. Then the salesman started telling me what a piece of shit Jap bikes were.
    Dumb ass lost a sale.

  50. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

    I want to get rid of my iPhone, but unfortunately, have to wait until Hubby returns.

  51. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 5:21 pm #

    I will only buy classic motorcycles now, and nothing less than 25 years old in general. I won’t buy Japanese less than 30 years old (I go back to the point where I last appreciated their styling). My focus right now is on acquiring a 1945 Indian Chief. I’ve found one, but it won’t be for sale for another year yet, which is good for me. 🙂 I also have my eye on a 1927 Indian Scout and a 1934 Harley Davidson VL and a 1942 Servi-Car.

  52. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 5:23 pm #

    I want to get rid of my iPhone, Ags, but I have to wait until I have the money to both pay my monthly bill AND pay the sign-up fees for another service provider (I’m done with AT&T, but I’m on month-to-month). I have other obligations that tie up my free money, though, so I’m constantly waiting one more month.

  53. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 5:29 pm #

    Fucking timely news about iPhones: http://tinyurl.com/3fa8gge

    Apple is a shitbag, disgusting company. That kind of shit peeves. Fuck Apple. I love corporations, but this kind of shit is replete through companies like Apple and Google.

  54. Jay in Ames April 21, 2011 at 5:29 pm #

    Jazz, Evo Android on Sprint.

    Just sayin.

  55. Dick April 21, 2011 at 5:30 pm #

    Jazz, you couldn’t pay me to own one of those bikes.
    Art pieces they are, but as far as ridability, no.
    Mine get rode like the dirty tramps they are and put up wet.

  56. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 5:32 pm #

    That’s where I’m headed, J’Ames. Plus, it has a Flash player, which Appfuckingle refuses to install on it’s merch.

    Did I say FUCK APPLE? ‘Cause if I didn’t, FUCK APPLE.

  57. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 5:32 pm #

    Interesting…I heard the exact opposite about Google and Android that they claim in that article.

    But yes, that is the main reason I want to get rid of the phone.

  58. Dick April 21, 2011 at 5:32 pm #

    Chicago area has had record cold temps for April.
    I bet Stinky’s loving boot camp.
    Coming in on the end of week 2 out of 8.

  59. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 21, 2011 at 5:32 pm #

    That’s OK, Jazz. I’m sure the MSP doesn’t have the slightest interest in where you go when they take the data off your phone at traffic stops.

  60. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 5:34 pm #

    Fuck Microsoft!!
    Fuck Dell!
    Fuck Lonovo!
    Fuck IBM!
    Fuck Motorola!
    Fuck LG!

  61. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 5:35 pm #

    I loved my old shovelhead, Dick. I had an ’82 FLHS that shook like an epileptic washing machine, but it was fucking FUN (and I didn’t have to ride on the back where the vibration was most noticeable). It smoothed out at about 70, too, and I usually drive a bit faster than that through my neighborhood. 😉

  62. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 5:37 pm #

    Fuck LG!

    I *almost* misread that 😉

  63. Jay in Ames April 21, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

    Journolist fight! Daily Caller: Wonkette post mocking Trig Palin drudges up Journolist feud

    Weigel is in the crosshairs again. Can we get a collective “awwww” from the crowd?

  64. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

    Hey Aggie!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72n3mooTJh8

  65. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    Getting arrested for contempt of cop: http://tinyurl.com/3eqzr99

  66. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    J’Ames, I love it when they turn on their own kind 😀

    MCPO, *smooooch*

  67. Dick April 21, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    Jazz, I rode my old CB900 from Ft. Lewis, Washington to Dallas back in the day. The trip took two days and every night at the end of the ride, I couldn’t feel my hands or ass. They were both that numb from the vibration.

    Back in ’02 I rode my ’01 model Vulcan Classic from Dallas to Daytona in one straight through ride. Actually felt pretty good when I finally climbed off the last time.
    To be fair, I had an aftermarket Mustang seat on the Vulcan cause the factory Kawasaki seats are shit.

  68. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    I never ride for more than three hours at a time, Dick. I have a scoliosis and some neck problems that make that kind of stationary sitting nigh on unbearable after that amount of time. My back just can’t take it. I’ve never hit the point where the vibrations where so severe that they impaired my riding. Three hours isn’t all that long, though, either.

  69. Jazz April 21, 2011 at 6:03 pm #

    driving!

  70. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 6:12 pm #

    I can’t imagine riding a motorcycle.

  71. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 6:34 pm #

    I was at a loss as to what to cook, so I sauteed onions and mushrooms in butter, and then added sliced sirloin, and some onion soup.

    Pretty good served over rice.

  72. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 6:49 pm #

    Looks like I am threadkiller today.

  73. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 21, 2011 at 6:54 pm #

    Mississippi shows the rest of the country how it’s done:

    A couple of days before, one of them (Westboro protestors) ran his mouth at a Brandon gas station and got his arse waxed. Police were called and the beaten man could not give much of a description of who beat him. When they canvassed the station and spoke to the large crowd that had gathered around, no one seemed to remember anything about what had happened.

    Rankin County handled this thing perfectly. There were many things that were put into place that most will never know about and at great expense to the county.

    Most of the morons never made it out of their hotel parking lot. It seems that certain Rankin county pickup trucks were parked directly behind any car that had Kansas plates in the hotel parking lot and the drivers mysteriously disappeared until after the funeral was over. Police were called but their wrecker service was running behind and it was going to be a few hours before they could tow the trucks so the Kansas plated cars could get out.

    A few made it to the funeral but were ushered away to be questioned about a crime they might have possibly been involved in. Turns out, after a few hours of questioning, that they were not involved and they were allowed to go on about their business.

    http://thehayride.com/2011/04/westboro-baptist-church-goes-to-mississippi-and-loses/

  74. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 7:02 pm #

    Mississippi shows the rest of the country how it’s done

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  75. Dick April 21, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

    Aggie, I couldn’t access the page for thirty minutes, so I looked at Catholic porn.

  76. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 21, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

    I was at a loss as to what to cook, so I sauteed onions and mushrooms in butter, and then added sliced sirloin, and some onion soup.

    Pretty good served over rice.

    After the previous comments about sharts, that doesn’t seem so appealing.

  77. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 7:18 pm #

    Jeez, BisW, what were you reading??

    And Dick, I take it it’s an extensive site? 😉

  78. Dick April 21, 2011 at 7:20 pm #

    HQ photos no less.

  79. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 21, 2011 at 7:28 pm #

    Aggie, check out the previous thread.

  80. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 7:31 pm #

    You know what, BisW? I will PASS 😛

    I liked dinner!

  81. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 21, 2011 at 7:35 pm #

    Your loss. Jazz had a funny story.

  82. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 7:52 pm #

    I’ll read it tonight, after everything is settled 🙂

  83. leoncaruthers April 21, 2011 at 7:55 pm #

    Aggie, I couldn’t access the page for thirty minutes, so I looked at Catholic porn.

    Link?

  84. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 7:58 pm #

    Leon!!

    *smooches*

  85. leoncaruthers April 21, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

    Hi Aggie. What did you give up for Lent?

  86. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 8:11 pm #

    I gave up liquor, sweets, fats, and junkfood.

    Along with 14 pounds 🙂

  87. leoncaruthers April 21, 2011 at 8:14 pm #

    I gave up coffee, wheat, and liquid food (including alcohol). I managed to mostly stick to it, with total abstinence for coffee and liquor. No weight movement, though

  88. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

    Wow…tough giving up coffee. I couldn’t do it.

    I tried once, and Hubby forced it down my throat because he couldn’t take the whining anymore 😀

  89. leoncaruthers April 21, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    I reallllllly miss coffee. I can’t wait for my thermos on Monday.

  90. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    I miss chocolate. Can’t wait for Easter….

  91. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 8:56 pm #

    I never understood the Beatles/Stones argument. The Rolling Stones have always been a blues band. The Beatles started out as a pop band and grew into rock band.

  92. leoncaruthers April 21, 2011 at 8:57 pm #

    I meant to get chocolate this week to make a cool low-carb recipe that I found, but I completely forgot to grab it when I was at the store.

  93. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 9:18 pm #

    So, my failure to understand the Beatles/Stones thingie kilt it?

  94. PattyAnn April 21, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    What argument, MCPO? The Beatles are the Beatles and the Stones are the Stones.

  95. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

    I’m with PattyAnn.

  96. PattyAnn April 21, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

    ^ And we are having fun, fun, fun!

  97. PattyAnn April 21, 2011 at 9:57 pm #

    Dammit. My poker is sprained. (FYI, my last 2 comments are not related)

  98. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 21, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

    I give up coffee pretty easily.

    I haven’t had a cup in two weeks.

    The thermos of piping hot tea every morning is doing the trick.

  99. leoncaruthers April 21, 2011 at 10:01 pm #

    It’s been 42 days. I’m sick to death of tea.

  100. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 21, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

    I’m used to the tea. And it does better things for my blood pressure. It allows me to read more news on the interwebs before I creep up into the red…

  101. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 10:10 pm #

    CHOCOLAAAAATE….

    *said in zombie voice*

  102. PattyAnn April 21, 2011 at 10:15 pm #

    *shoots Aggie Chocolate Brains

  103. MCPO Airdale April 21, 2011 at 10:18 pm #

    I’m going to have massive amounts of booze this weekend.

  104. LC Aggie Sith April 21, 2011 at 10:20 pm #

    Awww, thanks, PattyAnn.

    I haven’t forgotten to post the recipe, by the way. My mom is going to recite it to me tomorrow so I can type it at FB.

    I love my mom 😀

  105. PattyAnn April 21, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    I did forget, Aggie! But I would have remembered eventually. Thank your mother for me 🙂

  106. clintbird April 21, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

    How’d you strain your poker, PattyAnn? Hahahahahahaha!

  107. roamy April 21, 2011 at 11:44 pm #

    Teresa, your link about the Westboro assholes getting their due in Mississippi did my heart good.

  108. Dick April 21, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

    This dump is deader than the US economy.

  109. PattyAnn April 22, 2011 at 12:00 am #

    You KNOW how, CB!

    Goodnight, all.

  110. gmland April 22, 2011 at 12:21 am #

    Ah, the smell of Illinois…

  111. Car in April 22, 2011 at 6:20 am #

    MORNING FINE PEOPLE.

    It’s Good Friday. That means no snacking today.

  112. Car in April 22, 2011 at 6:23 am #

    s at a loss as to what to cook, so I sauteed onions and mushrooms in butter, and then added sliced sirloin, and some onion soup.

    that was me at lunch yesterday. So I took some plain (organic @@) yogurt, frozen blueberries (from last summer), whey protein powder (chocolate) and milk. Made a smoothie. Boy, hit the spot.

  113. Car in April 22, 2011 at 6:24 am #

    Teresa, I like the story (up there) but I sure hope those asshats don’t bury them in litigation for it.

    They’re all lawyers, aren’t they?

  114. roamy April 22, 2011 at 8:08 am #

    Good morning, Carin and any lurkers out there.

  115. gmland April 22, 2011 at 8:26 am #

    Farm fresh eggs, bacon, orange juice and coffee!

    “Faaaarm living is the place for me”
    *greenacres reference*

  116. Car in April 22, 2011 at 8:43 am #

    Fresh eggs are the bomb.

    My chickens need to pick up their production. They have been slacking and they’re barely making quota.

  117. Car in April 22, 2011 at 9:36 am #

    you guys are useless to me this morning.

    Guess I’d better go do chores.

    THANKS FOR NOTHING

  118. Jazz April 22, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    Good morning!

    I’m not grumpy today, but I am mildly and temporarily irritated: Today is DONUT day (we all take turns bringing donuts on Fridays) and the office pig brought fagels. Goddammit. I’m not Jewish, and I have a fucking sugar jones. BRING ME MY DONUTS.

    🙂

  119. Jazz April 22, 2011 at 10:04 am #

    Oh – and I ran out of my stomach meds on Sunday. I called the scrip in, but I never went to get it. MISTAKE. I now own the second largest super-volcano in the world, and it’s conveniently located in my gut. I think mi estomigo is going melt out of my body.

  120. PattyAnn April 22, 2011 at 10:21 am #

    Sorry, Carin, I’ve been too busy trying to calm down reading about Obama’s investigations into oil price gouging and market speculation. WTF?
    D.R.I.L.L.

  121. PattyAnn April 22, 2011 at 10:23 am #

    Jazz, go pick up your Rx!!

  122. PattyAnn April 22, 2011 at 10:27 am #

    *slides Jazz a bacon maple long john.

  123. Jazz April 22, 2011 at 10:32 am #

    Hi, PA!!!! I LOVE LONG JOHNS!!@ 😀

    /I picked up the scrip on my way to work this morning and already dosed, but it’ll be tomorrow before I feel any benefits from it.

  124. Jazz April 22, 2011 at 10:32 am #

    Oh – NEW POAT

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