Quips ‘n Quotes

5 Apr

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

Not all ethical questions can be answered with stabbing or arson.

The taint of ignorance is right behind the balls of arrogance.

If at first you don’t succeed skydiving is not for you.

The only thing that tastes better than free liquor, is stolen liquor.

269 Responses to “Quips ‘n Quotes”

  1. Dick April 5, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    I lurves me an Aggie Gurl.

  2. LC Aggie Sith April 5, 2011 at 9:00 pm #

    I think I found MCPO…. 😆

  3. MCPO Airdale April 5, 2011 at 9:02 pm #

    Where?

  4. LC Aggie Sith April 5, 2011 at 9:04 pm #

    MCPO!!!!!!

    *smooooches*

    Where have you been???

  5. Dick April 5, 2011 at 9:06 pm #

    Chief!

  6. Dick April 5, 2011 at 9:07 pm #

    I’m fairly certain, Stinky’s getting his ass kicked.

  7. beasn April 5, 2011 at 9:11 pm #

    That’s okay Dick, he’s gonna need a few callouses.

  8. MCPO Airdale April 5, 2011 at 9:11 pm #

    I’m at the Wyndham Resort in Myrtle Beach. Played 36 holes yesterday and 27 today. . . boy, does my liver hurt!

  9. beasn April 5, 2011 at 9:12 pm #

    Aggie, my pigs are doing okay. Both are clean of stones per this last x-raying.

  10. Dick April 5, 2011 at 9:13 pm #

    Beasn, he’s already got plenty of those from working for me.
    I still figure they’re gonna wear his young ass out.

  11. MCPO Airdale April 5, 2011 at 9:13 pm #

    Dick – Stinky will be fine! You know, once the sleep deprivation and first completed ass-chewing.

  12. Dick April 5, 2011 at 9:13 pm #

    boy, does my liver hurt

    Drink something!

  13. Dick April 5, 2011 at 9:16 pm #

    I don’t remember but one ass chewing in basic. Accidentally called a Drill Sergeant “buddy” as in “Hey, Buddy” cause i didn’t see any rank.
    I paid for that for two fucking days.

  14. MCPO Airdale April 5, 2011 at 9:18 pm #

    My Recruit Company Commander believed in ass-chewings, just on general principle.

  15. MCPO Airdale April 5, 2011 at 9:19 pm #

    Gotta run – later, ‘taters!

  16. LC Aggie Sith April 5, 2011 at 9:21 pm #

    Glad to hear they are doing ok, Beasn.

    Loved the pics at FB 🙂

  17. Dick April 5, 2011 at 9:23 pm #

    They liked to slap our helmets and on our backs, guts, and chests as hard as they could.
    That way they could honestly say they never touched us.
    We believed.

  18. Dick April 5, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

    What’d ya shoot, Chief?

  19. Dick April 5, 2011 at 9:36 pm #

    Here, go laugh your asses off.

    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=cae_1301969332

  20. LC Aggie Sith April 5, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

    Dick, that video made me very happy.

    We’re talking deep, commitment kind of lust here.

  21. Dick April 5, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

    Aggie, ya gotta love grunts.

  22. LC Aggie Sith April 5, 2011 at 10:06 pm #

    I do, Dick…much to Hubby’s chagrin 😉

  23. Dick April 5, 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    What’s up with these fags?

    http://hotair.com/archives/2011/04/05/video-dear-woman/

  24. LC Aggie Sith April 5, 2011 at 10:25 pm #

    The spirituality of the Divine Feminine???

    CharlietittyfuckingSheen….

  25. Dick April 5, 2011 at 10:45 pm #

    Night Aggie, and other indigent creepers.

  26. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 5, 2011 at 10:46 pm #

    So I see we’re still close in Wisconsin. Dammit.

  27. LC Aggie Sith April 5, 2011 at 10:52 pm #

    So I see we’re still close in Wisconsin.

    Not surprising, considering who is digging up the votes.

  28. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 5, 2011 at 11:25 pm #

    Lady Aggies – 76
    Lady Irish – 70

    WHOOP!!!!!!!!!!!
    The Maggies are NCAA Women’s Champions!!!!!!!!!

  29. LC Aggie Sith April 5, 2011 at 11:28 pm #

    HULLABALOO, CANECK, CANECK!!!!

    NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!!

    WHOOP!!!

  30. Car in April 6, 2011 at 8:25 am #

    Morning everyone.

  31. roamingfirehydrant April 6, 2011 at 8:33 am #

    A quick good morning, then off to work for me. Teh bosses are wound up over possible shutdown. (sigh)

  32. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 8:59 am #

    Good morning.

    That sucks, Roamy.

  33. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 9:19 am #

    Other uncle passed around 4:30 this morning. Three funerals on Saturday. Two, we’ll be attending. Both sides of families are doing well as can be expected.

  34. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 9:30 am #

    My condolences, PattyAnn. I pray for you and yours.

    *hugs*

  35. agiledog April 6, 2011 at 9:33 am #

    So sorry to hear it, PattyAnn. My thoughts are with you.

    Try to find an upside – you’ll get your money’s worth for getting all dressed up on a weekend for a change. 🙂

  36. agiledog April 6, 2011 at 9:34 am #

    And congrats to the Aggie ladies on the win.

  37. Jay in Ames April 6, 2011 at 9:35 am #

    Mornin, everyone.

    Sorry to hear the sad news, PA.

  38. Jay in Ames April 6, 2011 at 9:42 am #

    Nice job, Aggies. Way to represent the Big 12!

  39. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 9:45 am #

    I’m just glad we beat Notre Dames 😉

  40. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:01 am #

    Good morning!!

    Hahahahahah! Guy’s last post last night slayed me. He just showed up out of nowhere and said “181th,” followed up with “Cripes!”, and then he disappeared again. WTF?

    Hahahahahahahahahahaahahaha!

    I doubt he intended the kind of funny I got from it, but hell, I’ll take it anywhere I can get it. Classic!

  41. Car in April 6, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    Sorry PA :((

    What a week.

  42. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:07 am #

    More Hahahs!!!!!! From FoxNews:

    Fired NPR CEO Vivian Schiller spoke Tuesday at the Paley Center for Media in New York and lashed out at the videographers who exposed the bigotry in her organization, calling the undercover sting an “abomination.” She admitted the rest of the establishment is “terrified” of being the next NPR, Planned Parenthood or ACORN…and speculated that the goal of these stings is to instill fear. “It’s terrifying,” Schiller said, that’s their “objective.”

  43. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:09 am #

    Bitter Eric’s Gitmo Trials and Tribulations: http://tinyurl.com/3pd2w2l

  44. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 10:11 am #

    speculated that the goal of these stings is to instill fear.

    No, you fucktardic twatwaffle. The goal is to expose you for the socialist scumbags you are.

  45. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:13 am #

    Good God, PA!!!!!! I’ve never, ever seen anything like what you’re experiencing. More prayers and condolences coming your way. Feck, this sucks. BTW, as your friend, I’m telling you that I’m checking my own expiration date right now, and it appears as if it’s a long way off – you can cross me off your “worry list.”

  46. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:15 am #

    More hahahas: Ohio man charged with barking at dog.

    His explanation is CLASSIC!

  47. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:18 am #

    Apparently, when Planned Parenthood is not murdering children, it’s fleecing the taxpayers.

    Planned Parenthood’s annual reports show more than $2 billion in government income between 2003 and 2008. The GAO report could account for the expenditure of only $657 million of that amount, relying on information provided by Planned Parenthood in its own Single Audit Act reports. That leaves a huge question mark over the remaining $1.3 billion.

  48. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:20 am #

    President Obama’s new anti-American Secretary of State: http://tinyurl.com/3mxfmzz

  49. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:23 am #

    That’ll have to hold you for now. Work schedule now looks like it’ll be Monday before I can return to my regular newsgathering. The good news is that the end of the project is a hard date, meaning that there will be no excuses accepted for an incomplete or deficient job. I WILL be done by Monday.

  50. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 10:37 am #

    Thanks for the resources Jazz! You always make me look so smart on facedong!

  51. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:44 am #

    Stanley Kurtz with a much better take on Obama’s new Sec of State nominee:

    A member of the president’s National Security Council who shares Noam Chomsky’s foreign-policy goals? An influential presidential adviser whom 1960s revolutionary Tom Hayden treats as a fellow radical? A White House official who wrote a book aiming to turn an anti-American, anti-Israel, Marxist-inspired, world-government-loving United Nations bureaucrat into a popular hero? Samantha Power, senior director of multilateral affairs for the National Security Council and perhaps the principal architect of our current intervention in Libya, is all of these things.

  52. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:47 am #

    For those interested in things legal, a very interesting essay on the mosaic theory relating to the Fourth Amendment. It’s a very easy-to-read essay about warrant requirements and searches, and if you’re unfamiliar with the mosaic theory, it’s described there, too.

    http://tinyurl.com/3bdd5to

  53. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:49 am #

    The head of the UT Tea Party issues a warning to Orrin Hatch and Governor Bob Herbert: http://tinyurl.com/3zcoebg

  54. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:51 am #

    Megan McCardle’s thoughts on the Ryan Plan:

    it’s no longer credible to complain that the GOP has not put forward any sort of meaningful solution for the budget. At this point, they’re the only ones who have put forward a detailed outline; the Democrats still seem to be hoping that if they kind of mill around long enough, eventually an angel will float over the horizon and deposit a plan that doesn’t annoy anyone (and/or allows them to pay for the entire thing by raising the marginal tax rate on the Koch brothers and Richard Mellon Scaife to 110%).

  55. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:54 am #

    Courtesy of Insty, a $25 radio controlled helicopter!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/3cp4e9v

    I just might have myself a new toy. These are the kinds of toys science nerds like. 🙂

  56. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 10:55 am #

    Jazz, thanks for all the linkies this AM.

    Samantha Power is a perfect fit for Obama, seeing she’s married to Susstein.

  57. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 10:55 am #

    Althouse with an interesting pic and a more interesting obervation:

    http://tinyurl.com/3gcm95v

  58. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 11:00 am #

    Lindsey Graham gets his ass handed to him. This lady is PISSED, and she gets all up in his colon. Moreover, she’s motherfucking right:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qeyrp-V3Jvc

    Watch the fucking vid. You will want to repost it.

    “Lindsey Graham, understand that if you pick a fight with me the only way it ends is with you sobbing in the men’s room.”

  59. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 11:02 am #

    If you don’t look at ANYTHING else I posted today, watch that fucking lady’s vid fisking Graham. Watch it watch it watch it.

  60. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 11:07 am #

    Thank you, everyone.
    We are in an irreverent state here. For our sanity. Last thing John said when he left for work was “Please don’t let anyone else die today”.
    This was in the last email the uncle who died this morning sent to John. http://i56.tinypic.com/19xx03.jpg His good humor lasted his entire life.

  61. Car in April 6, 2011 at 11:11 am #

    Planned Parenthood’s annual reports show more than $2 billion in government income between 2003 and 2008. The GAO report could account for the expenditu

    A few weeks ago I was researching something and come across some of the salaries of these folks. They have an incredible executive pay scale.
    here.
    They’re making upwards of $250,000 and more (plus benefits). These are REGIONAL positions not national, so you can spread that shit across the country

  62. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 11:12 am #

    PattyAnn, that is just priceless. I had to steal it, because I have plans to make that official 😀

  63. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 11:12 am #

    We are in an irreverent state here. For our sanity.

    Which is why I included my own health report, PA. 😀

    My family’s funerals are some of the most fun gatherings I’ve ever attended: Drunkenness, stories, good food, some really nice people, some total assholes, and some good fights. The only person usually missing is our deceased, and he or she is only missing in spirit – we’ve got the corpus.

  64. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 11:13 am #

    WATCH THAT FUCKING LADY’S VIDEO.

  65. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 11:14 am #

    Jazz, I saw that video at FB and just about had a hernia laughing.

    Carin, these are the same folks who bitch and moan about private corporations and their salaries.

  66. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    WATCH THAT FUCKING LADY’S VIDEO.

    YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!!!! 😛

  67. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 11:20 am #

    Barnhart continues her tirade against Graham by reading from the Koran (complete with bacon bookmarks) and then burns the pages as she reads through the quotes.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LCLDjPNpf4

  68. clintbird April 6, 2011 at 11:38 am #

    My bride is away from home (Me!) for the next 16 days. Which one of you wimmens iz gonna feed me so I don’t starve?

  69. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 11:47 am #

    *serves CB pot roast, crash potatoes, and green beans*

    *pours CB a beer*

    It’s 5 o’clock in Baghdad…

  70. beasn April 6, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    I’m depressed. Do we not have any spines on our side? When the dem thugs cheat OUT THEIR ASS, do you here one peep out of ‘our’ leaders? Do we have any leaders?

    Every time Bush took a breath, bug eyes and the cryptkeeper put their mugs in front of every camera. Why can’t our guys do that?

    Regarding Wisconsin, were there any ads against Kloppywhathercommiename?

  71. beasn April 6, 2011 at 11:52 am #

    Clint, you are either going to have to start reading and performing recipes your own self or go buy those frozen dinners. Marie Callendars always look yummy.

  72. beasn April 6, 2011 at 11:55 am #

    I’m also depressed in that we paid more taxes this last year than I earned. How in hell do we save like hell for our retirement if I am paying for everyone else’s retirement?

    *thinks of retired teacher down the street making 78K plus benefits for the rest of her life. She retired 5 years ago and is now 64*

  73. beasn April 6, 2011 at 11:57 am #

    That is 78K plus benefits, per year.

    *thinks of county and personal property taxes*

    *head explodes*

  74. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

    I watched both vids, Jazz. My favorite line was “give him one of my balls and I’ll still have two left” hahaha.
    Then I read this article CB posted on his FarceBook http://is.gd/Pw6IGd

    Beasn, what a crock that you pay more taxes than you earned? No wonder your head is exploding.

  75. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 12:08 pm #

    Beasn, how do you pay more in taxes than you earned??

    There has to be something wrong there.

    As regards spines, some of our current leaders do. Unfortunately, they are freshmen and in the minority, or have been blackballed out of leadership like Bachmann was. I hope the establishmentarians like Boehner see the writing on the wall.

    I never saw ads for the libidiot, but I wasn’t looking, either.

  76. beasn April 6, 2011 at 12:17 pm #

    Beasn, how do you pay more in taxes than you earned??

    We file jointly. Fed + state + property + personal property = more than I earn.

    Not even going to think about the taxes on gas, electric, water, sewer, etc..etc..

  77. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

    Aggie, I just fume at the thought of career politicians. This was never meant to be! Along with voting in our Senators! And term limits! We need term limits!

    *climbs off box

  78. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

    1. Hang in there, PA.

    2. My thermos rocks. Every cuppa I pour from the thing is STEAMING hot.

    3. Heir No. Two whacked his finger in the bathroom door this morning. Much crying, wailing, and knashing of teeth. I had to help him get dressed. He refuse tylenol and ice, but when I put a band-aid on it, he regained his composure, at least as much as he could for having just mashed his finger in the door. When he got in Nana’s van this morning, he was showing her and she was telling him that it was going to hurt for a while. He said “Yeah, but Daddy made me feel better.”

    That made being late to work worth it.

  79. beasn April 6, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    HAHAHAAHA, bandaids are the cure-all for almost everything with little kids. Gotta love ’em.

  80. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    If we had term limits, we never would have had a Daniel Webster. Or Henry Clay. Or John Quincy Adams. Or John C. Calhoun.

    Politics is Hollywood for ugly people.

  81. beasn April 6, 2011 at 12:29 pm #

    You are a good daddy, BiW.

    We need more of your kind. It is heartbreaking that so many kids are denied that life treasure.

  82. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    I’ll see your Daniel Webster, Henry Clay, John Quincy and John C. Calhoun and raise you a Murtha, Kennedy, Reid, Thurman and Biden.
    *starts moving chips to my pile*

  83. Dick April 6, 2011 at 12:36 pm #

    Peasants, how are we doing today?

  84. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 6, 2011 at 12:50 pm #

    PA, sincerest condolences on all of your losses – they say these things come in 3’s, so I’m hoping you’ve met your quota for quite a while!

    I sincerely hope that someone is already talking to Ms. Barnhardt about running for political office. What is it about Conservative women that most of them have more raw courage than most of the men (and liberal wimmen) who are in office today? Lord knows, that’s what we need right now….

  85. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

    I am fuming like BisW’s java.

    Just took Hubby’s car to get inspected, because it had expired in January and had been sitting in the garage. He asked me to drive it yesterday, and BAM!! Get pulled over. Luckily, the officer let me go after he found out it was Hubby’s car and he was deployed.

    Anyway, took it in, and the wait for inspection is three hours. And then I find out, he needs an oil change, too. So, fuck that, I’ll do it early in the AM.

    Oh, and just found the electricity bill which one kid used to draw on, due today, so off I go.

    I’m doing fine, Dick 😀

  86. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 6, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Despite all these disadvantages, and regardless of who ultimately prevails in this election, the reformers fought big labor to a virtual draw. Perhaps the most powerful collection of special interests in the country gave their best, and all they managed was to do was (maybe) eke out a photo finish win in a purple state with disproportionate union membership and under mostly favorable circumstances.

    ….success against public employees unions will severely limit their ability to do further damage, rather than merely angering them. Clearing a hornet’s nest can be challenging, but it is better in the long run than constantly dealing with hornets…and last night showed that big labor’s sting is less painful than many feared.

    http://legalinsurrection.blogspot.com/2011/04/whoever-wins-wi-supreme-court-election.html

  87. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 6, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    Aggie, been there, done that, got the T-Shirt. You’ll get through it….
    *slides a brewsky from the Dixie Chicken down*

    On the plus side, the Lady Aggies are National Champions!!!!!

  88. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

    True, Teresa, true 😀

    I’ll have to pass on the brewsky. I gave it up for Lent.

    *shakes fist at Lent*

  89. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 6, 2011 at 1:36 pm #

    Sorry about the brewsky, Aggie – howze about a nice glass of sparkling red grape juice from the Messina Hof Winery (in Bryan) instead? It’s better than the stuff that Welch’s makes…

  90. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 1:36 pm #

    SCHADENFREUDE!!!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  91. Jay in Ames April 6, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    What is this Lent you speak of?

    *looks it up in Lutheran Book of Worship, doesn’t find it.

  92. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    howze about a nice glass of sparkling red grape juice from the Messina Hof Winery

    Lurve that stuff, as do the kids. I get it for New Year’s, so they think they are grown-ups 😀

  93. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

    J’Ames, it is a test of my willpower, that’s what it is.

    It is also a test of strength, as in “Lord, give me the strength to NOT choke my kid…”

  94. Dick April 6, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    Aggie, if you wanna test your willpower, help BiW shave his back.

  95. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    if you wanna test your willpower, help BiW shave his back.

    I’ve given pedicures to women who wear plastic shoes in summer. I can handle BisW.

  96. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

    Messina Hof has nothing on Manischewitz!

  97. Dick April 6, 2011 at 2:11 pm #

    I gotta get Stinky’s car ready to sell.

  98. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 2:12 pm #

    What kind of car, Dick?

  99. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 2:15 pm #

    The Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain performs “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLgJ7pk0X-s

    It sounds like a joke, but I think they might be better than – or at least as good as – the original soundtrack recording.

  100. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 2:23 pm #

    Jazz, they were awesome!!!

  101. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 6, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    Oh, dear holy God.
    This is beyond parody:

    http://www.redstate.com/melissaclouthier/2011/04/06/insipid-dear-woman/

    Yeppers, those are my kind of men right there…..

  102. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 6, 2011 at 2:31 pm #

    I LOVE the Ukulele Orchestra! I’ve got several of their YouTube videos saved; unfortunately, they don’t get down our way EVER (not that I didn’t put a bug in Bass Hall’s ear a couple of months ago….).

  103. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

    Saw it yesterday, Teresa. I didn’t make it past 3:12, and that’s with my anthropology background.

  104. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 6, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

    Okay – the article is good; I meant the video that inspired the column.
    Geez Louise – the only gals those guys are going to attract are the ones that the manly men wouldn’t take if you paid them to…..

  105. beasn April 6, 2011 at 2:42 pm #

    I watched about 15 seconds of that video and wanted to choke them with their pigtails. Sissies.

    Can’t stand sniveling girlie men. You just know that if sharia comes knocking they would be the first in line to let it in in order to put their widdle feets on our neck. I have a sneaking suspicion….no…I know lefty libby men despise women.

  106. agiledog April 6, 2011 at 2:44 pm #

    Jazz, I just got back to a PC that has sound, and watched that lady’s video. Out-fucking-rageous! I think I got smarter just watching her. I’ll save part two for tomorrow – only so much I can take in one day, especially if part two has bacon.

    Great find!

  107. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

    Oh, dear holy God.
    This is beyond parody:

    That makes my pussy hurt.

  108. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAH! Cool, AD!!!

    I think wiser’s going to make a full-blown post with both vids over at H2. I’m not sure, though, how that squares with HHD. The bacon part is RIGHTEOUS, though. As is the flaming koran part.

    koran with a little “k”, BTW. It has invited my denigration.

  109. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 2:49 pm #

    I forwarded TiFW’s link to a friend. His response:

    “Dear Woman, We are pansies who can’t compete with real men, but we’d like to get laid anyhow.”

  110. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 6, 2011 at 2:51 pm #

    Total with 3629/3630 Precincts reporting 2:42 p.m. ET

    D. Prosser (i) 739,508 50%
    J. Kloppenburg 739,714 50%

  111. beasn April 6, 2011 at 2:57 pm #

    Nothing personal Teresa, but…..

    *shoots Teresa with a cannon*

    I’m very edgy right now with all this cheating and loading our courts with f*cking communists.

    I NEED ME SOME HOME MADE CINNAMON ROLLS!!!!
    (gave up junk for Lent)

    *twitches*

    Oh, husband took half a day and is driving me batty.

  112. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    From Melissa:

    This nonsense needs to be rejected and ridiculed. Our culture and civilization cannot continue if we turn out wussified failure-at-trying-to-be-female types. Men can be brutal. Thankfully. Put that nature to good, civilized use and you have the Chrysler building and the Hoover Dam. Put that nature to good, civilized use and you have the sacrifices of World War II. Put that nature to good use, you have a kid who learns how to suck it up and get back on the damn bike.

    Ms. Clouthier gets it. Those little eunuchs in the video don’t ride bikes, don’t serve in the armed forces, and don’t build shit. They don’t do ANYTHING useful. This is what they do (I’m sorry I could only find the poorest quality clip to illustrate my point):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY1KiiOmAmY

  113. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    “Men can be brutal. Thankfully.”

    Dude, that is my eternal get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s good that I’m a brute!

  114. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 3:02 pm #

    *perk

    What kind of car, Dick? *glares at Aggie

  115. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 3:03 pm #

    Only for the sake of being the first to introduce this here, I’ll post this: The ACLU is now urging women to “incorporate” their uteri.

    http://tinyurl.com/42f5q3b

    If you notice, the effort is being led by a man and will offer men the chance for men to incorporate their own “honorary uteruses” – while they all hold hands and sing along to “Lesbian Seagull.”

  116. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 3:10 pm #

    That video could be used as defense for willful slaughter of all hippy men.

  117. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 3:10 pm #

    Since y’all are such fans of the ukelele, here’s virtuoso Jake Shimabukuro performing The Beatles/George Harrison’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puSkP3uym5k

    His talent gives me chills. At times, he sounds like two simultaneous and separate performers.

  118. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 3:14 pm #

    More Jake, this time playing flamenco uke: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqaYmQZgrB4&NR=1

  119. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    That video could be used as defense for willful slaughter of all hippy men.

    There’s a better one.

    “He needed killin’.”

  120. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    Chicken and sausage piccolini for lunch.

  121. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 6, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    Total with ALL Precincts reporting 3:12 p.m. ET

    D. Prosser (i) 739,886 50%
    J. Kloppenburg 740,090 50%
    http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/files/elections/2011/by_county/WI_Supreme_Court_0405.html?SITE=AP&SECTION=POLITICS

    Kloppenburg up by 204 votes; recounts must be requested by April 20th.
    http://www.wfrv.com/news/wisconsin/119320019.html

  122. beasn April 6, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    Complete control over one’s body is a bit different than committing infanticide.

  123. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    “He needed killin’.”

    “He shouldn’ta oughta decorated his bar with my friend.”

    “He should have armed himself if he’s going to decorate his saloon with my friend.”

  124. Dick April 6, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    ’05 Kia Rio 4 dr, auto, a/c 4cyl 30mpg 116K miles tan/tan cloth.
    0 – 60 mph time… whenever.
    Good little ride I bought for him last year when he totaled his old car. Bought this one at the Manheim auction. It was a repo from East Texas.
    Now that I’ve cleaned it up I’m gonna take photos and stick it on Craig’s List for $2750 or best offer.

  125. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 3:34 pm #

    PattyAnn, no need to glare at me!

    I was just curious! I don’t need a car 🙂

  126. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm #

    Incorporation of uteri?

    Gag…

  127. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 3:46 pm #

    Gag…

    You’re doing it wrong. You’re supposed to gag on Penis Inc. /Ink

    /I LOVE homophones. 🙂 I’m no homophonophobe.

  128. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 3:58 pm #

    Oh, you were asking for me ’cause you know I’d want to know 🙂 Thanks, Aggie!

    Dick, I’ll check it out once you get it posted. Don’t know that I’d ever talk John into a Kia…but…

  129. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

    You’re supposed to gag on Penis Inc. /Ink

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  130. Dick April 6, 2011 at 4:09 pm #

    Don’t Patty. I refuse to sell cars, appliances, or computers to friends. It leads to nothing but trouble.

  131. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 4:09 pm #

    Okay, Dick. I agree with you 🙂

  132. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

    I refuse to sell cars, appliances, or computers to friends.

    But your love is for sale to the highest . . . well, any bidder.

  133. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:12 pm #

    I keep watching the uke orchestra. I love that version of GBU!

  134. Dick April 6, 2011 at 4:14 pm #

    Jazz, I just wanna get rid of the car so I can drop the insurance coverage on it. Stinky’s on his own now.

  135. agiledog April 6, 2011 at 4:19 pm #

    **Simon says that telling lawmakers that your body is a business “is really the best way to get them to leave it alone pay your asking price.”**

    FTFT

  136. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:20 pm #

    Dick, I’m just having some fun with you. You’re a stand-up cat and a GREAT dad – I can tell by the way you talk about your boy. This is a great day for you – your progeny has kicked you to the curb! That said, I rib my friends mercilessly. If I overstep my bounds, gimme a heads-up, and I’ll rein it in a bit. I’m not getting that vibe from you now, BTW, just covering bases.

  137. agiledog April 6, 2011 at 4:22 pm #

    Dick, why don’t you drive it over the border, sell it under the table, and then report it stolen and collect insurance?

    What? Don’t look at me like that. I saw it on TV.

  138. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 4:23 pm #

    Did I mention that I got taken out for drinks yesterday by 2 particularly sassy young ladies? No? Well I did!

    Winning!

  139. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:24 pm #

    You’re supposed to gag on Penis Inc. /Ink

    Gives “corporate tool” a brand new meaning.

    Wait till the advertising division gets ahold of that one. (See what I did there?)

    Penis, Inc. Size Matters™!

    Penis, Inc. We’re Swell Guys™!

    Penis, Inc. Always Ready To Make Our Contribution to the Future™!

  140. MJ April 6, 2011 at 4:30 pm #

    Hello. Is this thing working?

  141. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    Hello.

    I don’t know.

    What is that thing supposed to do?

  142. MJ April 6, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    Apparently enlarge penis size. Not that I need it. It’s for my…friend.

  143. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    Hello. Is this thing working?

    No doubt another satisfied customer of Penis Inc.

    Penis Inc. You get the thrust of it.™

  144. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX April 6, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    *guesses that the 2 sassy young ladies GML is referring to are either related to him, or are friends of ladies he’s related to*

    BiW, you crack me up….

    Penis,Inc. – Watch Us Grow!

  145. MJ April 6, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

    Penis Inc. Don’t be a pussy.

  146. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:35 pm #

    Penis Inc. Bigger is a way of life here.™

  147. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:37 pm #

    Penis Inc. Toothpicks to 2 x 4s, its all about the wood.™

  148. Dick April 6, 2011 at 4:37 pm #

    Jazz, you can’t offend me. I have no soul.

    Dick, why don’t you drive it over the border, sell it under the table, and then report it stolen and collect insurance?

    I like sleeping well, plus Amica is a great insurance company. Not to mention, I bet they got some great PI’s working for them.

  149. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

    Penis Inc. Aggressively growing market share since 2011™

  150. Dick April 6, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

    Okay, it’s on Craig’s List now.

    http://dallas.craigslist.org/mdf/cto/2309414503.html

  151. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:41 pm #

    Penis Inc. If you’re gonna be accused of being a dick, at least give them good cause.™

  152. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

    Penis Inc – “For when you want to get the lead out.”

  153. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

    Penis, Inc. 2012 Are You In?

  154. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

    Penis Inc. Do you think we care if your pussy hurts?™

  155. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:43 pm #

    Penis Inc – “With the imitation look of real wood.”

  156. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:43 pm #

    And what would Penis Inc. sell?

    Penis Inc. Curtain Wipes

  157. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:43 pm #

    Penis Inc. Ensuring that women fail as engineers since 1971.™

  158. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 4:43 pm #

    Hey! Wait a minute! That car looks great! 😉

  159. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

    Penis Inc – “Not a hint of taint”

  160. MJ April 6, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

    Penis Inc, hanging around with two nuts.

  161. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

    Hey, MJ!!!! 😀

  162. MJ April 6, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    Hey Jazz! Hope you guys don’t mind me crashing the party for a bit.

  163. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    Penis Solutions™

  164. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    Another great sack lunch brought to you by Penis Inc.!

  165. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

    Hell, no, MJ – been missing your company, bro.

  166. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

    Sup MJ!

  167. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

    Wow, Guy: PeniSol.

    Hahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!

    It’s like Pine Sol, except it smells like musky dick.

  168. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

    Penis, Inc., Just call us Dicks

  169. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

    Hey Jazz! Hope you guys don’t mind me crashing the party for a bit.

    Its an equal opportunity whorehouse. Just don’t pick the one with the dildo. She bites.

  170. Dick April 6, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

    Christ… Already getting calls on the car. Maybe I ought to raise the price.

  171. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    *waves to MJ. Takes back his goat and pussy 🙂

  172. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    Penis Solutions™

    BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

  173. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

    I’m laughing so hard it hurts.

    Howdy, MJ!!

  174. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

    Dick, I think they go for $5,000

  175. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

    = I think that year/make/model/mileage is going for $5,000

  176. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    Just don’t pick the one with the dildo. She bites.

    That would be Carin….

  177. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    PenisLogistics – Finding New and Better Ways to Make your Penis Work for You!

  178. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    Penis Inc. Always looking for a few good jerks.

  179. MJ April 6, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    Hey! That’s my goat. I won her fair and square in the Coliseum. I’ve missed you guys too. But in a manly way.

    Don’t worry about the dildo, chick. She’s all yours BiW.

  180. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 4:53 pm #

    Penis Inc., Kinetic Fucking Action

  181. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 4:53 pm #

    Penis Solutions™

    BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    – – – –

    throws tsunami at BiW

  182. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:53 pm #

    Penis Solutions™

    BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    yeah, GML! That was a Democrat’s answer!

    /I laughed 😀

  183. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

    Penis Inc. Taking you places you’d never go if you were sober.™

  184. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:55 pm #

    Penis Inc., Kinetic Fucking Action

    hahahaha – now I’ve got a GI Joe with KFA Grip image in mi cabeza.

  185. MJ April 6, 2011 at 4:55 pm #

    Penis Inc., Kinetic Fucking Action
    ————–
    Hahahaha. I said to Mrs Mj a few days ago, “are you ready for some Kinetic Sexual Disappointment?” She didn’t get it.

  186. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:55 pm #

    Penis Inc. More than a mouthful is wasted.

  187. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 4:56 pm #

    Penii R Us™

    ……

    The image that evokes is disturbing…

  188. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 4:56 pm #

    She didn’t get it.

    She wasn’t the only one who was disappointed, was she? 😀

  189. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 4:57 pm #

    PhallicPhunctions™

    Supplying the Best Dick Jokes since 1972

  190. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

    Penis Inc. Offering free rides to intoxicated women since 1990™

  191. MJ April 6, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

    She wasn’t the only one who was disappointed, was she?
    ——————
    Hahahahaha. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

  192. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    Penis Inc. Offering magic candy to beautiful women.

  193. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

    Penis Inc. Let us do your thinking for you.™

  194. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

    Penis, Inc., The Other Organ Meat

  195. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    Don’t look at me like that. Somebody had to say it.

  196. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    Penis Inc. You knead us.™

  197. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:05 pm #

    Penis Inc. The quality goes in before the name goes on.™

  198. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    Penis, Inc., For High Quality Protein That Builds Muscle.

    *aggie goes to hell*

  199. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the guy: “Hey bud, you’ve got a steering wheel down your pants.”

    The guy replies “Yeah I know. Its driving me nuts!”

  200. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:07 pm #

    Penis, Inc., The Other Organ Meat

    Companion to

    Penis Inc. Protein supplements are our specialty.™

  201. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:07 pm #

    Penis, Inc: More Passion, More Protein.

  202. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    Penis Inc. Four hours? Pshaw!

  203. Jay in Ames April 6, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    Rubix Penis: The longer you play with it, the harder it gets.

  204. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 5:11 pm #

    Rubix! HAHAHA

  205. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:12 pm #

    Rubix Penis

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  206. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 5:12 pm #

    Rubix Penis: The longer you play with it, the harder it gets.

    – – – – –

    + 769 dildos!

  207. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:15 pm #

    + 769 dildos!

    Kinda stingy, aren’t you??

  208. Jay in Ames April 6, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

    Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can’t see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

    “Honey,” she signs, “Why don’t we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time.”

    The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, “Great idea. Now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times.”

  209. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:17 pm #

    If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Goes for every man 😀

  210. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 5:18 pm #

    Now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times.”

    Aggie, what he means is, she would be jacking him off if she didn’t want to have sex with him…. thus the humor.

  211. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:19 pm #

    Penis Inc. We specialize in giving you a good hard time.

  212. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

    Aggie, what he means is, she would be jacking him off if she didn’t want to have sex with him…. thus the humor.

    *hones machete*

    You’ll be in Texas, when, GML?

  213. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

    Penis Inc. Because skin flute is an instrument any woman can play.

  214. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 5:21 pm #

    Ummm, Guy? I think any woman who populates this joint gets that joke. Just sayin…

  215. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 5:21 pm #

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    GML’s on A ROLL!

  216. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    Oh he damn well knows we get the joke, PattyAnn.

    He doesn’t get the action, though 😀

  217. Dick April 6, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    Sold! I rock.

  218. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:23 pm #

    Because skin flute is an instrument any woman can play.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

  219. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:23 pm #

    Penis Inc. Because no Guy wants the Bobitt treatment, Lorena.

  220. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:23 pm #

    Sold! I rock.

    DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!

  221. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 5:24 pm #

    I thought GML’s humor was on display like a flasher’s prize.

  222. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 5:25 pm #

    Dick, that’s proof positive you gave that fucker away! Still, a penis in the hand can fit in two bushes.

    Or whatever.

  223. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 5:27 pm #

    Another quality product from Penis Inc:

    The Penis Inc. Penis Sink. Check out the “Tongue Bath” model.

  224. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:28 pm #

    I think this thread has petered out.

  225. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:29 pm #

    a penis in the hand can fit in two bushes.

    Is this experience talking??

  226. Dick April 6, 2011 at 5:30 pm #

    Jazz, I got what I wanted out of it, so I’m happy.

  227. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:30 pm #

    a penis in the hand can fit in two bushes.

    Is this experience talking??

    And if so, whose penis?

  228. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:31 pm #

    Penis Inc. Cocksure has a new name.

  229. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 5:32 pm #

    I thought GML’s humor was on display like a flasher’s prize.

    – – – – –

    Jazz gets me.

    *awards a penis in the hand*

  230. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:32 pm #

    Where did MJ go? Is he hiding, or just looking for his goat?

  231. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:34 pm #

    Jazz gets me.

    *awards a penis in the hand*

    Jazz! Don’t do it! You don’t know where that thing’s been!

  232. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 5:35 pm #

    Jazz! Don’t do it! You don’t know where that thing’s been!

    – – –

    Relax, there’s enough to go around.

    *see what I did there?*

  233. agiledog April 6, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

    Where did MJ go? Is he hiding, or just looking for his goat?

    I think he is cleaning the Men’s room at Penis Inc.

  234. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

    Relax, there’s enough to go around.

    Are we talking English, or Metric?

  235. Jay in Ames April 6, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

    *awards a penis in the hand*

    Aww, it looks like a penis, only smaller!

    *different direction than GML was going

  236. agiledog April 6, 2011 at 5:40 pm #

    Penis Inc. Self-satisfaction is Job One.

  237. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:41 pm #

    Are we talking English, or Metric?

    You know what a fish story is, right?

  238. agiledog April 6, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

    Penis Inc. What can dick do for you?

  239. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 5:43 pm #

    I thought GML’s humor was on display like a flasher’s prize.

    – – – – –

    Jazz gets me.

    *awards a penis in the hand*

    Dude – I said it was LIKE a flasher’s prize, not that I WANTED the flasher’s prize.

  240. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:43 pm #

    You know what a fish story is, right?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  241. Jay in Ames April 6, 2011 at 5:45 pm #

    You folk are corrupting me. I gotta go, protect my sensibilities.

  242. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 5:45 pm #

    Penii are red,
    Penii are blue,
    Guy is obtuse,
    and so are you!

  243. agiledog April 6, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    Later, folks.

    Time to go run some Massholes off the road on my trip home.

    Hope to be on later.

    Good job on selling the car, Dick. To do it that fast, you must have been on the low side. But like you said, not your problem anymore….

  244. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    a penis in the hand can fit in two bushes.

    Is this experience talking??

    And if so, whose penis?

    The question that’s really gonna bake your kugel is, “Whose bushes?”

    /Stay outta Buttbush – it’s dirty in there

  245. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    That slam you heard was PattyAnn crushing GML.

    See ya later, J’Ames!

  246. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 5:47 pm #

    Dude – I said it was LIKE a flasher’s prize, not that I WANTED the flasher’s prize.

    *takes back prize from Jazz*

    J’Ames, guess what?

  247. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:47 pm #

    See ya, AD!!

    “Whose bushes?”

    Inquiring minds want to…oh, fuck that.

  248. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 5:48 pm #

    bwahahahahahaha!!!

    I’m laughing out loud here in the office, GML. 😀

  249. agiledog April 6, 2011 at 5:48 pm #

    Last note: Nice poem, PA. Figures you’d know the plural of penis.

  250. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:49 pm #

    A white man was hired to work on a native fishing boat on Lake Superior.

    After an afternoon of pulling, and pulling, and pulling, and pulling to get the nets back out of the deep, icy waters in silence, he and the native deckhand finally got all the nets in.

    Shortly after, the other deckhand was taking a leak off the side. The man saw the opportunity to rib his stoic co-worker, and joined him.

    After about a minute, he shivered, and said “Man! This water is COLD!”

    Without looking up, his coworker nodded and said “And DEEP.”

  251. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

    Penii are red,
    Penii are blue,
    Guy is obtuse,
    and so are you!

    – – – – –

    I’m thinking PA….. I’m thinking.

  252. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

    What? Now it’s more penis jokes?

    (Dick–Congrats on the car sale! Somebody got a good deal 🙂

  253. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

    Curse of the reverse baseball cap:

  254. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere April 6, 2011 at 5:52 pm #

    You folk are corrupting me. I gotta go, protect my sensibilities.

    Isn’t that like the town slut accusing her latest of taking her virtue before he even pulls out?

  255. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 5:52 pm #

    Guy, are you thinking with the little head or the little head? 😉

  256. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:53 pm #

    Without looking up, his coworker nodded and said “And DEEP.”

    RAAAAAAAAACIST!!!

  257. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

    I accidentally hit the “send me email updates to this thread” box before I hit submit a while back, and now I’ve got 42 fucking emails from this joint. I don’t know how to shut it off. I might have to ride this out until a new thread.

  258. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Your poem had me laughing,
    I have a penii for you!

  259. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    Did you unclick the box below the comment area, Jazz?

  260. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 5:57 pm #

    Guy, are you thinking with the little head or the little head? 😉

    – – –

    half a dozen one way,
    8.25 the other 😉

  261. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 5:58 pm #

    A penii for me?
    A penii for you.
    A tit for tat;
    Beat that, you dude.

  262. PattyAnn April 6, 2011 at 6:00 pm #

    I’ll bet your feet are big, too.
    (alternate ending for previous poem)

  263. GMLand April 6, 2011 at 6:04 pm #

    Heading home cool cats… thanks for the belly laughs!

  264. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 6:12 pm #

    I can’t unclick the box, Ags – the box is gone

  265. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 6:13 pm #

    That’s odd….maybe close the site and reopen a window?

  266. Jazz April 6, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    Driving. Have a good night, y’all.

  267. LC Aggie Sith April 6, 2011 at 6:30 pm #

    NEW POAT!!!!!!!!

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