Everyone, please remain calm!

30 Mar

In a world gone mad, at least you don’t have cars flying by your head.

In the comments section of this magnificent tribute to mediocrity, please elaborate on your chronic ailments, recipes for road kill and favorite Barry Manilow tunes.

Knock, Knock…

Who’s there? Falcon Punch, that’s who!

 

ARMAGEDDON!

183 Responses to “Everyone, please remain calm!”

  1. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 11:07 am #

    First Place!

  2. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:09 am #

    First Place in mediocrity? I thought the goal was Last Place??

  3. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:14 am #

    Hm….favorite Barry Manilow tune?

    Whichever one drives islamotards batshit.

  4. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 11:19 am #

    Long overdue update added.

  5. Car in March 30, 2011 at 11:19 am #

    “Could it be Magic”.

    wut?

  6. Car in March 30, 2011 at 11:21 am #

    Or, “Weekend in New England.”

  7. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:26 am #

    Falcon Punch??

    *wonders about GML’s mental health*

  8. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:29 am #

    Mandy….

    Ready to Take a Chance Again….

    omg….

    COPACABANA!!!!!

    Wait….favorite, or most hated? Because I went with most-hated.

  9. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 11:30 am #

    I WRITE THE SONGS!

    *falcon punches self for humming the tune*

  10. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:31 am #

    *falcon punches self for humming the tune*

    *does it to GML twice again for reminding us*

  11. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 11:35 am #

    “I write the songs that make the whole world sing,
    I write the songs of love (retch) and special things,
    (retches again)I write the songs that (retches blood) make the whole world cry,
    I write..(retches a lung, shoots self in head)

  12. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:37 am #

    ..(retches a lung, shoots self in head)

    Thanks for saving me the .17 cents, and the trouble 😉

  13. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 11:40 am #

    *lines up falcon punch*

  14. clintbird March 30, 2011 at 11:40 am #

    Just one fucking day, I’d like to go throught it in its entirety without having pResident Asswipe appear giving a bullshit speech!

  15. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 11:43 am #

    *tosses CBird Manilow’s greatest hits CD, with all 4 songs on it*

  16. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:48 am #

    CB, the way I look at it, the more he speechifies, the more he exposes his radicalism.

  17. clintbird March 30, 2011 at 11:53 am #

    Hey, GM, are you ready to watch UK win it all this weekend?

  18. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 11:53 am #

    Manilow’s “Bandstand Boogie” and “Jump Shout Boogie” are good songs. Groovy disco Manilow? “It’s a Miracle” Or “Looks Like We Made” or “Daybreak.” I don’t particularly like Manilow, but I don’t hate him, either. My mom listened to him, and his tunes remind me of two things: a) Being a kid around my mom, and b) A time when melodies and vocal tracks were discernible, not overproduced, and not auto-tuned, sampled, or funked up. My associations with the music seem to overshadow the quality of the music itself.

    I remember when Manilow was touring with Paul Williams on the “Magic Felching” tour. It was an apocryphal Raggot and Armageddon experience, from what I’ve heard…

  19. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 11:54 am #

    I have money on UK!!!!

  20. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 11:55 am #

    70s rarity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XY4XbMQZtc

  21. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 12:02 pm #

    love ARS!

  22. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 12:11 pm #

    Me, too, GML. I almost went with “Champagne Jam,” “Imaginary Lover,” and “So Into You.” In fact, here’s “Champagne Jam,” too (the others tend to get more airplay).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juQz_i2mxEk

  23. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 30, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

    I first heard that clip about Andrew Kiki Farnum back in lawschool.

    I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. When Mrs. BiW asked me why I was laughing, I played it for her…I still couldn’t talk. Her only response was to say “Sick. And you friends are sick too.”

  24. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 30, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    Ladies and gentlemen (looks around) oh, right…everybody, I give you THE WORST COVER SONG EVER™!!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUgQpUNDHcg

    The original which it shamelessly defiles:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXFUr0sEgMI

  25. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 12:22 pm #

    Best (non)Manilow song since, “Mandy”!!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuRDMu87tl0&feature=related

  26. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 12:22 pm #

    “Sick. And you friends are sick too.”

    High praise indeed 😉

  27. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

    The Raggot/Armageddon story is right up there with this one. I think I peed myself laughing at this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_habakm5sw

    WARNING: Liberally administered profanity

  28. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    A routine Arizona traffic stop:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjfO66la7jw

  29. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_habakm5sw

    WARNING: Liberally administered profanity

    – – – –

    Hufsmith/Korrville road… holy shit – about 5 minutes from where I used to live in North Houston!!!

  30. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

    about 5 minutes from where I used to live in North Houston!!!

    So, friends of yours??

  31. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 12:44 pm #

    I NEED A BAMBULANCE!!!!

  32. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 12:46 pm #

    So, friends of yours??

    – – –

    *throw’s Tiny Tim lp at Aggie*

  33. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

    *throw’s Tiny Tim lp at Aggie*

    *wonders why GML would own a Tiny Tim LP…*

  34. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    The French are flying the A-7 Corsair II and the F-8 Crusader??!?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YUfErI381o&feature=feedrec_grec_index

  35. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 12:56 pm #

    “And his evening’s not complete without some meat up in the seat!”

    http://www.123video.nl/playvideos.asp?MovieID=452105

  36. Jay in Ames March 30, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    *plays ukelele

    Tiny Bubbles!

  37. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 1:06 pm #

    *gives Jazz a slice of hell*

    *gives J’Ames another*

  38. Dick March 30, 2011 at 1:13 pm #

    Two little jobs and eight C-notes later, I’m done for the day.
    The downside? Tomorrow looks like suckage.

  39. Jay in Ames March 30, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Tiptoe, Through the Tulips!

    *just warming up

  40. Jay in Ames March 30, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Just in time for the Tiny Tim singalong, Dick.

  41. Dick March 30, 2011 at 1:15 pm #

    A lil’ Tiny Tim action, huh?
    I’m gonna hang around this dump.

  42. Jay in Ames March 30, 2011 at 1:17 pm #

    Watch your head though, i don’t think Aggie’s a fan.

  43. Dick March 30, 2011 at 1:18 pm #

    Aggie’ll live. Just don’t pick her up by her ears like a puppy.

  44. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 1:19 pm #

    Dick!!! *smooches*

    It’s not that I’m not a fan, J’Ames…

    I just prefer my screeching to be done while inflicting pain.

  45. Dick March 30, 2011 at 1:21 pm #

    The City of Dallas gave Jake a trash truck for his birthday.

  46. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 1:24 pm #

    *gives Jazz a slice of hell*

    All for a some Frank Zappa? That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?

  47. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    That was a very nice thing for the Sanitation Dept to do, Dick.

  48. Dick March 30, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    Jazz, are you being picked on?

  49. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 1:27 pm #

    A recycling truck? Jake’s a little socialist-in-training planning for the New World Order.

  50. Dick March 30, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    Just wait til the new book hits ground, Aggie. I want it to become the everyday terrorist’s guide to taking down a nation.

  51. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

    Jazz, are you being picked on?

    I don’t know…. If I am, I’m not sure I dislike it. Aggie’s sweet and nice, and she lacks the deft-yet-heavy-handed touch of some of our less graceful peers.

    /That’s a compliment, BTW, Aggie.

  52. Dick March 30, 2011 at 1:33 pm #

    Aggie’s sweet and nice, and she lacks the deft-yet-heavy-handed touch of some of our less graceful peers.

    *wonders if Aggie’ll take plastic*

  53. Car in March 30, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

    The letter inside said, “The Al-Qaeda organization has planted 160 nuclear bombs throughout the U.S. in schools, stadiums, churches, stores, financial institutions and government buildings.” It also said, “This is a suicide mission for us.”

    160 ?

    I don’t think so. Try a lower number. A plausible number.

  54. Dick March 30, 2011 at 1:44 pm #

    I don’t think so. Try a lower number. A plausible number.

    Oh come on, Car in! I believe it! (snicker)

  55. Car in March 30, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    But, in case it’s true:

  56. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 1:48 pm #

    *blushes*

    You are too kind, Jazz *smooch*

    *sheaths machete*

    *wonders if Aggie’ll take plastic*

    No, but I’ll settle for a shot of tequila. I’m cheap that way.

  57. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 1:50 pm #

    I believe 160. Not hard to do a dirty bomb.

  58. Jay in Ames March 30, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    Mmmm, tequila. Patron Anejo here, please!

  59. Car in March 30, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    I say no way. Those idiot. One? Maybe. 160? No way.They’re backwards asshats. Skimming from the bottom of the genetic pool.

  60. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    All I’m saying is that any idiot can access the how-tos on the internet, Carin.

    Either way, the threat should be taken seriously. Better safe than sorry 😉

    Patron Anejo here, please!

    *slides bottle to J’Ames*

  61. Car in March 30, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    Oh, I’m not saying the threat shouldn’t be taken seriously. For no better reason than the letter writer should have the shit kicked out of them.

    But, my guess is that the letter write has issues.

  62. Jay in Ames March 30, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    I agree with Car in. Nuclear Bomb Dirty Bomb. Completely different things.

    Of course, they might be US public school educated, so they might not know the difference.

  63. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 30, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

    They’re backwards asshats. Skimming from the bottom of the genetic pool.

    No moreso than the Community Organizer In Chief, the Radical Envoronmentalists, the CommuSocialists, and the Anarchists.

    Besides, your derision of the theory is reliant upon the assumption that the rock-worshipping savages made/provided the necessary hardware themselves.

    Not everyone who hates the US is from outside the country.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1sf2CzEq0w

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNdOsL4Xe7Q

  64. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    Not everyone who hates the US is from outside the country.

    Looking at the current administration and the people who voted for the current resident of the White House, I’m inclined to agree wholeheartedly.

  65. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 2:27 pm #

    Poll question:

    Should UP have a blogroll?

  66. Dick March 30, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    I say let the lil’ bastards set them off. First off, I could care less, and second, every (and I mean every) motherfucking raghead in the US would be dead meat.

  67. Dick March 30, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    The blogroll matters not to me, Aggie. Set it up if you like.

  68. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Hey, this ain’t that kinda pla….

    oh, yea. Blogroll, sure.

  69. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 2:53 pm #

    * hang in there little poat, hang in there *

  70. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 2:54 pm #

    *gives poat mouth-to-mouth*

  71. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 3:01 pm #

    peasantettes, we only have one shot at saving it – quickly you girls rub your bewbs on it.

  72. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 3:03 pm #

    quickly you girls rub your bewbs on it.

    *looks at self*

    *sobs quietly*

  73. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 3:04 pm #

    Hah!!! BiW, Dweezil has been doing a tour for the past couple of years called “Zappa Plays Zappa,” wherein he plays his father’s music. I saw him last year, and he’s pretty damn good. He’s not his dad, but he’s as close as one can get without having FZ right there, and he does some very passable FZ guitar licks. The voice, too – he’s got that Zappa timbre and tone. I’ll see him again any time.

    BTW, I saw FZ on his last American tour. I had front row center stage seats in 1988, IIRC, at Muskegon’s Frauenthal Theater (which I DO recall correctly). It was such a good show that I’ve put it in a category by itself: I’ve never seen a collection of more talented musicians on one stage together at one time, and most were (and remain) relatively unknown.

  74. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 3:26 pm #

    *pats poat on cheek*

    He was a good little poat and never peed on the carpet.

  75. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    He was a good little poat and never peed on the carpet.

    You forget, this is GML’s poat.

    *sprays Resolve*

  76. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    *humps Aggie’s leg*

    *pees on kitchen floor*

  77. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 3:32 pm #

    *zaps GML with cattle prod*

    *videotapes convulsions*

    *uploads to youboob*

  78. Dick March 30, 2011 at 3:33 pm #

    *has A10 overfly poat and strafe it*

  79. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 30, 2011 at 3:48 pm #

    Jazz, I used to have the Dwezill Zappa album back in the day. I loved “My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama”. I agree. He is a very good guitar player.

    *has A10 overfly poat and strafe it*

    One of the things I love about living so close to several military installations? I was driving to work today, and the license plate frame on the car in front of me said “My other ride is a WARTHOG”.

  80. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 30, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

    http://www.theblaze.com/stories/turkeys-photo-of-the-year-is-a-bleeding-israeli-soldier/

    Mustafa Kamal Attaturk was unavailable for comment.

  81. Dick March 30, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

    BiW, you would’ve liked our old Infantry business cards.

    “Wars Fought”
    “Governments Overthrown”
    “Bars Overturned”
    “Virgins Converted”
    “Nonbelievers Convinced”

  82. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 4:14 pm #

    Turkey’s Photo of the Year

    Fucktardic twatwaffles only pretend at having a democracy.

  83. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

    Let’s face it, there are only about 100,000 “moderate” mooselimbs willing to speak up against the fundies. The rest have been converted or cowed. It’s the same in Turkey as it is in Gaza, Iran, Libya, etc., etc.

  84. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

    Really. Who names a country after a Thanksgiving entree?

    Silly Islamites.

  85. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 30, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

    Well, Israel knew that the sand was almost to the bottom of the hourglass when I Won EmptyArmani was victorious in November 2008. I’ve been amazed that they haven’t reached out and touched Iran’s nuclear program in the time since. Kinda makes me wonder what they have ready for the lil’ savages when they do decide to make their move…

  86. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 30, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    Fucktardic twatwaffles only pretend at having a democracy.

    I’m not really in favor of democracies anyway.

    I prefer republics.

  87. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

    I, too, prefer republics, BiW. Democracy is nothing more than mob rule and can be quite fickle and very often ugly.

  88. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    Separated at birth (click on pics for more info)?

    /I may have asked this before…

  89. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 5:08 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAH!

    Caption this!

  90. Dick March 30, 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    Who else here has slept with Leonard Nemoy while he’s in his Spock costume?

    Wait? What website is this?

  91. Jay in Ames March 30, 2011 at 5:11 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAH!

    Caption this!

    What Aqua Buddha sees from the water tank.

  92. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 5:12 pm #

    Barack Obama, using the Dept of Interior and the EPA, has decided to starve America of energy. Meanwhile, in lieu of affordable carbon energy, we are to light our homes, run our factories, fuel our cars and power our economy with “ingenuity.”
    I’ve got a bad feeling about this. . .

  93. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 5:12 pm #

    “Rand Paul describes his favorite hummer”

  94. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 5:13 pm #

    I’ve got a bad feeling about this. . .

    – – – –

    same here my friend.

  95. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 5:14 pm #

    A website dovoted to men who look like old lesbians.

    http://tinyurl.com/26k53t

    Your boy Nimoy makes an appearance, Dick!

  96. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 5:14 pm #

    Caption this!

    – – – –

    I’m Rand Paul, muthafucka!

  97. Jay in Ames March 30, 2011 at 5:15 pm #

    Caption this!

    Can you hear me now?

  98. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 5:19 pm #

    I’m not really in favor of democracies anyway.

    I prefer republics.

    My point exactly.

  99. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 5:24 pm #

    Breaking:

    Lybia’s Foreign Minister has defected, Britain says.

  100. Jazz March 30, 2011 at 5:29 pm #

    Driving. Y’all have a nice night.

  101. Dick March 30, 2011 at 6:03 pm #

    Dumbass learns that baby sharks have teeth.
    Maybe some rough language but it’s 30 seconds of funny.

    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c16_1301493754

  102. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    Dick that made me very, very happy in an evul way.

    Such findings are a principal form of presidential directive used to authorize secret operations by the Central Intelligence Agency

    Nope, nothing to see here at all…

  103. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 6:49 pm #

    I need to get off the internet and quit watching the news before I need to cut a bitch!

  104. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 7:00 pm #

    I need to get off the internet and quit watching the news before I need to cut a bitch!

    Anyone seen PJM??

  105. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

  106. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

    Well, that was sure creepy….

  107. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 7:46 pm #

    Rammstein IS NOT creepy!

  108. Car in March 30, 2011 at 8:03 pm #

    Chief – did you see the bit I poated a while ago with the lead singer of Rammstein singing with Apocalyptica. They do a German version of David Bowies “Hero.”

  109. Car in March 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

  110. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

    Carin – No, I missed it. I’ll have to check it out!

  111. Car in March 30, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

    *does shot of tequila

  112. Car in March 30, 2011 at 8:10 pm #

    There may be better videos of it – that one is just pictures of the band.

    they did one – little story about some people with a boat.

    I can’t really look around much because of THE HORRIBLE INTERNET I HAVE.

  113. Dick March 30, 2011 at 8:10 pm #

    2 days and a wake up!

  114. Car in March 30, 2011 at 8:12 pm #

    *passes shot to Dick.

  115. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

    Carin – SWEET!

  116. Dick March 30, 2011 at 8:18 pm #

    Thanks, Sweetheart!

    Heh…
    http://twitter.com/bronxzooscobra

  117. Dick March 30, 2011 at 8:41 pm #

    Cool… I killed it.

  118. Dick March 30, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    Aggie HAS TO HAVE this.

  119. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

    sitting here working at work, instead of at home…. not working.

    Not complaining though, nope nope nope!

  120. Dick March 30, 2011 at 9:22 pm #

    Nice day tomorrow for all those who wanna bitch about their jobs.
    I have to tear out & rebuild all the firebrick in a fifty year old fire place, and grout in a brand new, cast iron damper.

  121. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

    Shooting Machetes with the Slingshot

    On my Christmas list, Dick!!

  122. roamingfirehydrant March 30, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

    Sitting here, drinking a dirty martini and thinking what fresh hell I’m going to get into tomorrow. 😀

  123. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 9:57 pm #

    ROAMY!!!

    I am sitting here, drinking water, and wondering how many loads of laundry I have to do tomorrow.

  124. roamingfirehydrant March 30, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

    AGGIE!

    Mini-me’s teacher pulled me aside and said I need to think about either a sports bra or a camisole for Mini-me because the boys have been talking about her boobs.

    She’s 9.

  125. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 10:01 pm #

    I need to think about either a sports bra or a camisole for Mini-me because the boys have been talking about her boobs.

    Well, she is your Mini-Me 😉

  126. roamingfirehydrant March 30, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

    And no, she has NOT been wearing the push-up bras from Aberzombie and Felch.

  127. roamingfirehydrant March 30, 2011 at 10:06 pm #

    I was either 12 or 13 before I got a training bra. 9?

    **eyes gallon of milk suspiciously

    Maybe all that bovine growth hormone’s coming through.

  128. PattyAnn March 30, 2011 at 10:16 pm #

    I know Jazz went home, but maybe he’ll see this tomorrow.
    I knew Rand Paul reminded me of someone and it is William Katt. Good call, Jazz. Now for the trivia. William Katt is the son of Barbara Hale (Perry Mason’s Della Street) and Bill Williams (Kit Carson).

  129. Dick March 30, 2011 at 10:16 pm #

    Roamy, that’s one of the many thousands of reasons I’m glad I didn’t have a daughter.

  130. Dick March 30, 2011 at 10:17 pm #

    PA, Friday morning is looking good!

  131. PattyAnn March 30, 2011 at 10:18 pm #

    Roamy, I had my first one at around 10. My mother made me wear it. I feel for mini-me.

  132. PattyAnn March 30, 2011 at 10:19 pm #

    Dick, let me see what I can do!

  133. roamingfirehydrant March 30, 2011 at 10:20 pm #

    Yeah, PA, I told her that the teacher mentioned it but not that the boys were talking about her.

  134. Dick March 30, 2011 at 10:33 pm #

    No biggie one way or the other, PA. Don’t set something back just to have coffee.

  135. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    That A&F shit is beyond appalling. Why do parents put up with that crap??

  136. PattyAnn March 30, 2011 at 10:36 pm #

    Roamy, I think the sports bra idea is AWESOME! Wish they’d had them back in olden times.

  137. PattyAnn March 30, 2011 at 10:37 pm #

    Dick, if I want to reschedule something, that’s my business 😉

  138. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 10:43 pm #

    Cause some parents think it’s “cute.”

  139. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 10:46 pm #

    Cause some parents think it’s “cute.”

    Gah…. I have visions of Jon Benet now.

    *scrubs eyes with H2SO4*

  140. GMLand March 30, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    Grababoobie and Pinch is not on the Land family approved shopping places list.

  141. xbradtc March 30, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    Watchya doin’, Aggie?

    http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2011/03/video-crossbow-shooting-machete-redefines-dangerous/

  142. MCPO Airdale March 30, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    When I was visiting Florida this winter, I was appalled at some of the things I saw 12-14 y/o girls wearing in public.

  143. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    Watchya doin’, Aggie?

    Putting that on my Christmas list!!

    *smoooooooooooooooches*

  144. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 30, 2011 at 11:18 pm #

    If I hear one more talking head prattle on about all the things that government can’t cut that government should never have been funding/providing in the first place, I may just snap.

  145. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:25 pm #

    Long day, BisW?

    *serves BisW a martini, stirred, not shaken*

  146. PattyAnn March 30, 2011 at 11:31 pm #

    Aggie, I think BiW deserves a dirty martini.

  147. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 30, 2011 at 11:36 pm #

    If by “dirty martini” you mean a meal and a relaxing libation, then you are correct, PA.

  148. PattyAnn March 30, 2011 at 11:37 pm #

    That is EXACTLY what I meant.

  149. clintbird March 30, 2011 at 11:41 pm #

    Well, well, Raylan seems to be entering a confused part of his life, eh?

  150. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:41 pm #

    I wasn’t going to give him a chocolate martini, that’s for sure 😉

  151. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 30, 2011 at 11:44 pm #

    Well, well, Raylan seems to be entering a confused part of his life, eh?

    Don’t spoil it for me…it isn’t on yet here.

  152. clintbird March 30, 2011 at 11:51 pm #

    I didn’t and I won’t, BiW. I’m not that kind of guy.

  153. LC Aggie Sith March 30, 2011 at 11:58 pm #

    Well, time for bed. Y’all have a great evening!

  154. clintbird March 31, 2011 at 12:03 am #

  155. clintbird March 31, 2011 at 12:04 am #

    Damn, what do you have to do to get YouTube music videos to embed now?

  156. Jay in Ames March 31, 2011 at 12:21 am #

    Clint, all I know, the new redhead mine owner’s daughter is smokin hot. She was in Hung on HBO, too.

  157. Jay in Ames March 31, 2011 at 12:21 am #

    Night aggie!

  158. clintbird March 31, 2011 at 12:40 am #

    Yep, you’re correct, Jay.

    She gotta a boooddddddddyyyyyy that won’t quit.

  159. MCPO Airdale March 31, 2011 at 12:48 am #

    Is it better than the Aqua Teen Hunger Force?

  160. Car in March 31, 2011 at 7:00 am #

    Wakey wakey

    was either 12 or 13 before I got a training bra. 9?

    **eyes gallon of milk suspiciously

    Perhaps you waited too long? 😉

    I was 13 when I got my period. My daughters – neither is anywhere near that benchmark. 13 y/o JUST started wearing a training bra. 11 y/o – nada.

    I do remembering being in 5th (or maybe 4th) when my gym teacher took me aside and told me I needed one.

  161. Car in March 31, 2011 at 7:01 am #

    And, to eliminate any creepy vibe from that last comment, she was a female gym teacher. Elderly black lady. It wasn’t creepy. She was just trying to help.

  162. Dick March 31, 2011 at 8:01 am #

    I started wearing my sister’s bras when I was fifteen, and then her high heels and makeup followed shortly after.
    My gym teacher (he was so dreamy!) never noticed.

  163. beasn March 31, 2011 at 8:01 am #

    The question is, how tall and how much does the nine year old weigh? My daughter went through puberty earlier than I did but she has always been taller than the avg bear and hit ninety pounds sooner.

  164. roamingfirehydrant March 31, 2011 at 8:17 am #

    Beasn, Mini-me is 4′ 9″ or 10″ and 80 lbs. or so. Taller than most in her class, but thin like her dad.

  165. PattyAnn March 31, 2011 at 8:20 am #

    Awwww. Rosie’s gonna have a talk show on Oprah’s network. From the comments (which are all against, BTW):
    “All Oprah needs now is to hire Janeane Garofalo and Whoopie Goldberg and she will have a complete set.”
    Hahahaha

    http://is.gd/uiDAJt

  166. roamingfirehydrant March 31, 2011 at 8:20 am #

    **cleans coffee off keyboard after reading Dick’s last comment

  167. roamingfirehydrant March 31, 2011 at 8:40 am #

    Y’all have a good day. Off to training!

  168. LC Aggie Sith March 31, 2011 at 8:49 am #

    Rosie’s gonna have a talk show on Oprah’s network.

    *throws up a little*

    “All Oprah needs now is to hire Janeane Garofalo and Whoopie Goldberg and she will have a complete set.”

    And Joy Behar!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

  169. Jay in Ames March 31, 2011 at 9:16 am #

    Don’t forget Rosanne Barr. She was guest hosting Joy Behar’s show the other night, interviewing Michael Moore. Talk about a whirlpool of stupid.

    And Hollywood wonders why no one watches television.

  170. GMLand March 31, 2011 at 9:23 am #

    *drives golf cart into poat and lights it*

  171. PattyAnn March 31, 2011 at 9:26 am #

    Golf carts are just rich men’s rascals. Just sayin’.

  172. agiledog March 31, 2011 at 9:39 am #

    My gym teacher (he was so dreamy!) never noticed.

    And you look so good in those skorts, too.

  173. agiledog March 31, 2011 at 9:40 am #

    GMLand is rich? Let’s do us some wealth redistribution, baby!

  174. Car in March 31, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    Dick, are you sure it’s not an art teacher you’re talking about?

  175. GMLand March 31, 2011 at 9:53 am #

    GMLand is rich? Let’s do us some wealth redistribution, baby!

    – – – –

    Hell, I ain’t rich.

    *lights cigar with $100 bill*

  176. Car in March 31, 2011 at 9:54 am #

    That guy’s voice fascinates me. But i have too issues. His enunciation drives me nuts and he’s SO FREAKIN GAY.

    I’m not homophobic, but there is this line that he seems to cross that implicitly states that his music is for gays.

    Perhaps I was ruined when I saw a video of one of his concerts.

    I don’t know if there was a woman in the entire audience. There weren’t many.

    He’s like some gay god.

  177. LC Aggie Sith March 31, 2011 at 10:01 am #

    GMLand is rich?

    Fuckin’ A, and I want a pony!!!

  178. Jay in Ames March 31, 2011 at 10:06 am #

    Fuckin’ A, and I want a pony!!!

    How about a lap giraffe instead? They are more unique.

    http://www.petitelapgiraffe.com/

  179. clintbird March 31, 2011 at 10:09 am #

    Carin, how’d you get that Youtube video to embedd? I cannot seem to get them to do that now.

  180. LC Aggie Sith March 31, 2011 at 10:13 am #

    New Poat for you Kool Kats.

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