A Word About The Profession

1 Mar

I’m often asked how various movies and tv shows compare to actually being a lawyer.  Hell, I’ve even gotten the question from my own mother, who was a HUGE fan of Ally McBeal.

I know that TV and movies make the job look sexy.  In reality, notsomuch. 

I have had my own personal triumphs, where I have managed things that are insanely difficult to pull off, such as rescission of a contract that my client wrote, or things that aren’t supposed to be possible, such as permission to intervene in a divorce case, but let’s face it.  Unless you’re the client, or another attorney, this probably doesn’t impress you much.  I don’t know what to tell you.  There are not usually “Perry Mason” moments.  I’ve known a few characters, but I’ve never met one who could compare to Matlock.  I’d say Ally McBeal is completely unrealistic, but I’ve had just enough unusual cases (oddly, many of them center on tree controversies)  that I can’t write it off. 

However, what I end up telling people is that you will find a fairly good representation in the episodes of ‘The Practice’.  ‘A Few Good Men’ is a great movie if you shut your eyes and ignore the absolutely tragic camera work which actually detracts from the epic storytelling on the screen.  I have never bothered with a John Gresham book or movie.  I did enjoy ‘A Civil Action’, but I think my favorite lawyer movie is this one:

The things that the attorney does are truly amazing.  Four days arguing the admissibility of the word “asshole” brings a smile to my face every single time.  But what I love is the turn, where the bad side of clients gets writ large, and the ethical problems that dominate my profession.

169 Responses to “A Word About The Profession”

  1. LC Aggie Sith March 1, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

    Some of my friends went into law because they thought it was like L.A. Law. Pity for them, it was more like Dante’s Inferno, only with suits.

  2. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 1, 2011 at 10:47 pm #

    I knew what I was getting into, and I did it anyway.

    Kind of like sitting on a pier and watching the storm approach and not doing anything until you’re wet.

  3. PattyAnn March 1, 2011 at 10:59 pm #

    I’ve been busy. Check it out in a minute or so.

  4. LC Aggie Sith March 1, 2011 at 11:30 pm #

    I knew what I was getting into, and I did it anyway.

    See, you knew. These friends didn’t know anything but what they had watched on TV. In fact, one quit practice after one year, and two others never bothered with the bar, choosing to work in other fields.

  5. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 1, 2011 at 11:37 pm #

    The bar exam is the culmination of a process that takes a normal person, and gives them a complete and total mindfuck.

    I usually try to talk people out of law school. It changes how you look at EVERYTHING, and not for the better.

  6. MCPO Airdale March 1, 2011 at 11:42 pm #

    It changes how you look at EVERYTHING, and not for the better.

    That’s because normal people equate “the law” with justice. Lawyers know that “the law” does not serve normal people or justice.

  7. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 1, 2011 at 11:55 pm #

    What pisses me off is that it is getting harder and harder to actually have your case heard by a judge. That means that the law does less and less to provide either a predictable result, or a means of dispute resolution that doesn’t require firearms and pacing. I’m getting really tired of trying to explain to people why increasingly the court rules are designed to ensure that their case is never actually heard by a judge. Instead, the judges use the rules to force participants in civil litigation into manditory arbitration, mediation, alternate dispute resolution, and any other number of means to force such litigants into a situation where their fatigue forces them to a resolution either because they are running out of money, patience, or years of life before they can actually get in front of a judge. If the parties could resolve the matter themselves, they wouldn’t NEED to sue, right? Du-uh.

  8. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 1, 2011 at 11:56 pm #

    But if you murdered your spouse, you can be assured that you will see a judge at every stage of the process, in a very timely fashion.

  9. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 1, 2011 at 11:57 pm #

    You fit the pianer in!!!!

    Awesome!!!

  10. MCPO Airdale March 2, 2011 at 12:02 am #

    HAHAHA! It’s like “Where’s Waldo?”

  11. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 12:04 am #

    OMG!!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

    Took me a while 😀

  12. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere March 2, 2011 at 12:07 am #

    Alright. I need to go get some sleep before I get up at 5 am tomorrow morning.

  13. clintbird March 2, 2011 at 12:12 am #

    Where is it? The picture on the wall up top?

  14. clintbird March 2, 2011 at 12:14 am #

    Yep, I see it there for sure now. Good job, FIGF!

  15. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 12:14 am #

    The pic next to the bottomless Oriental hoor, CB 😉

  16. ArmedGeek March 2, 2011 at 12:24 am #

    increasingly the court rules are designed to ensure that their case is never actually heard by a judge

    The primary function of any government employee is to ensure that employee actually does as little work as humanly possible.

  17. ArmedGeek March 2, 2011 at 12:27 am #

    If the parties could resolve the matter themselves, they wouldn’t NEED to sue, right? Du-uh.

    Unfortunately, these days it seems like suing is many people’s *first* attempt at resolution, instead of the last. Of course the courts have pretty well caused this as well. It has gotten to the point that practically anything you do to try to resolve a problem outside the courts will, in one way or another, actually do harm to your case if/when it ever actually goes to court.

    I am, though, talking out of my ass as I actually have little to no experience with any of this.

  18. Car in March 2, 2011 at 7:05 am #

    My experience with lawyers – I worked in an office and provided secretarial services for them. Typed, stuff like that. So I’ve typed a ton of that legal shit.

    I never liked ANY of the law tv-shows. But I was on a jury once – three day trial. That was an education.

  19. PattyAnn March 2, 2011 at 8:13 am #

    “where’s Waldo”

    Yep. Find the un-shiny spittoon and the double strand of pearls on a hoor for Aggie.

  20. roamingfirehydrant March 2, 2011 at 8:17 am #

    **hires PattyAnn for all my Photoshopping needs

  21. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 8:54 am #

    I miss the spittoon for Leaky Asian’s bottom.

  22. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 8:57 am #

    Now for the fun

    Police removed Charlie Sheen’s twin boys from his Los Angeles mansion Tuesday night, the actor told NBC News.

    “This is not the America I grew up in,” he added.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Really, Chuck? MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE YOU FUCKING DEMOCRATS HAVE BEEN ADVOCATING SHIT THAT ACTUALLY HARMS YOUR OWN FUCKING INTERESTS, you scum-sucking piece of shit.

  23. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:00 am #

    Hold tight, folks. It gets better!

    “Fiscal responsibility is a part of who we are.”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Ah, the fucking irony. Haggard c*nt.

  24. Jay in Ames March 2, 2011 at 9:01 am #

    Well done on hiding the spittoon, PA. I missed it.

  25. Dick March 2, 2011 at 9:01 am #

    Happy Birthday, Texas.

  26. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:06 am #

    The Ghetto and Day Girl Entitlement Network is failing.

    The OWN channel [The Oprah Winfrey Network], which launched two months ago, is being watched by only 135,000 people at any one time.
    The ratings are 10 per cent lower than for the cable channel it replaced which was called Discovery Health.

    The collapse of that “empire” cannot come soon enough. And every time I look at Opera, I think of this.

  27. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 9:06 am #

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TEXAS!!!!

    Gotta scream it, Dick.

    PattyAnn, awesome job on the pianer and spittoon 🙂

    Amd wakey, wakey!!

  28. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 9:08 am #

    Jazz, it was an eventuality. OWN has nothing of merit to sustain it as a channel. It was marketed to just those who watched her show.

  29. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:10 am #

    Hold on loosely, but don’t let go.

    A woman was able to hold on to a vehicle’s hood for dear life for more than 40 miles when her husband allegedly floored the accelerator after a domestic argument, authorities said. . . . 36-year-old Christopher Michael Carroll attacked his wife shortly after midnight on February 26 and stormed out of the house, getting into the family minivan and pulling out of the driveway.
    His wife, who asked not to be identified, chased him outside and stood in front of the vehicle in an attempt to block him.
    “She jumped on the hood, and that’s when her adventure started,” said Manteca police spokesman Rex Osborn.

  30. Car in March 2, 2011 at 9:11 am #

    I think it’s gonna come out soon that Charlie has some sort of mental disorder. Bipolar is a popular choice now-a-days, isn’t it?

    I vote for that.

  31. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:11 am #

    OWN has nothing of merit to sustain it as a channel. It was marketed to just those who watched her show.

    DON’T ANALYZE MY SCHADENFREUDE!!!!!

    🙂

  32. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 9:12 am #

    MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE YOU FUCKING DEMOCRATS HAVE BEEN ADVOCATING SHIT THAT ACTUALLY HARMS YOUR OWN FUCKING INTERESTS

    Awesomeness 😀

  33. Dick March 2, 2011 at 9:15 am #

    I must be blind. I see the pearls and see the shiny spittoon is gone, but nothing else.
    Using Firefox.

  34. Car in March 2, 2011 at 9:16 am #

    I don’t even know where to find the oprah channel on my tevee.

  35. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 9:16 am #

    They will pick “bipolar” because it is the condition that can most effectively disguise his addiction.

  36. Car in March 2, 2011 at 9:16 am #

    Look HARDER, Dick.

    Where would a spittoon be?

  37. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:17 am #

    Overkill much?

    An eighth-grade math teacher at Atherton’s Selby Lane School rattled a table to get his students’ attention Tuesday afternoon, police said. . . . [T]he demonstration landed him on paid administrative leave.
    . . .. [I]t appears the teacher’s table-rattling act startled a female student who left the class and called police from a cell phone. . . . Redwood City School District Deputy Superintendent John Baker said the teacher will remain on leave pending an investigation. He said he didn’t know what specifically happened and would interview the teacher, the student and her parents in the coming days, as well as other students. . . . The district put the teacher on leave because of the police response and the nature of the complaint, he said.

    For a shaken table? Really? That girl oughta be punched in the head and kicked around a little, just for comparison purposes to illustrate just what physical abuse is really like. Spoiled little mongrel.

  38. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:18 am #

    Awesomeness

    Yeah – that gives me warm fuzzies and makes my naughties tingle. Fuck him.

  39. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 9:20 am #

    I see pearls on the Asian hoor, and the spittoon is by the gent’s leg, under the bar, Dick.

  40. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:21 am #

    School Zone: NO FUN ALLOWED!!!

    Nine sixth-grade boys were expelled from Stewart Middle School Monday after officials at the Tacoma School learned about their suspected participation in a so-called “fight club.” . . .

    [The boys] were apparently friends who would set up after-school fights – staged in a boys’ restroom at the South End school or at the youths’ own homes – to see who was the toughest.

    The events were timed and had their own rules, such as “no hitting your opponent in the face,” Voelpel said.

    The TV station reported that one boy had recorded at least 15 fights.

    I would have loved to go to school there!

  41. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:22 am #

    I don’t see no pianny, though

  42. Dick March 2, 2011 at 9:23 am #

    I’m telling you guys. This world ain’t gonna get any better until the Great Idiocy Purge™ happens.

  43. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 9:24 am #

    I bet you anything that girl is failing that class, too, Jazz. Idiotic airhead…

  44. Dick March 2, 2011 at 9:25 am #

    Okay, I see the spittoon now.

  45. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 9:25 am #

    I don’t see no pianny, though

    Look at the portrait by the Asian hoor 🙂

  46. Dick March 2, 2011 at 9:25 am #

    Or at least I’ve been told that I see the spittoon now.

  47. Dick March 2, 2011 at 9:28 am #

    Duh… *View Background Image*

    Okay, I really do see it all now.
    Sweet work, PA!

  48. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:30 am #

    WI Governor Walker has proposed an aggressive reform budget and garners predicable criticism.

    Three weeks after igniting a firestorm of protest from unions, Gov. Scott Walker introduced a budget Tuesday that would slash more than $1.25 billion from aid to schools and local governments. . . .

    The governor, who took office in January, is contending with a $3.6 billion deficit in the state’s 2011-13 biennium budget. He has pledged to plug the hole without raising taxes, which means cutting spending and leaning on state workers. . . .

    Although Walker wants to grow the state’s economy, his spending plan could ultimately hurt its prospects, said Andrew Reschovsky, a professor of public affairs at University of Wisconsin, Madison. Mixing revenue increases with spending cuts would be less likely to do long-term harm, he said.

    Who is Andrew Reschovsky? I don’t know, but he might have an agenda.

  49. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:31 am #

    This world ain’t gonna get any better until the Great Idiocy Purge™ happens.

    Dick, I’ll take point or ride shotgun. I wanna be up front on this mission.

  50. Car in March 2, 2011 at 9:32 am #

    Must read on Soros.

  51. PattyAnn March 2, 2011 at 9:33 am #

    Aggie, the asian hoor has a single-strand. I added a double-strand for you. Keep looking.

  52. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 9:39 am #

    Oh, the one you see at the top!! Thanks, PattyAnn!!!

    Jazz, linkie no workie 😀

  53. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:46 am #

    Randy Barnett edifies us with the answers he provided to Senators Durban and Sessions on the Constitutionality of ObamaCare.

    http://tinyurl.com/5tar4jm

    Very, very interesting.

  54. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:47 am #

    Which link, Aggie?

  55. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:48 am #

    If it was the one about the fight club, it’s fixt!

  56. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:52 am #

    Predictable.

    For some reason a reinstatement of sorts seems to have occurred. This is more than unfortunate. Instead of public chastisement and criticism the University seems more interested in letting bygones be bygones and moving forward. These doctors are an embarrassment to the profession, but Wisconsin seems more interested in promoting the “social good” than setting a example of what it means to be a leader to impressionable residents.

    An astute question follow. Go read it.

  57. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 9:56 am #

    No, the one on Walker, Jazz.

  58. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 9:57 am #

    Contact your local legislators!!!

    Lawmakers and residents engaged in heated debate Tuesday over a bill that would make random airport security pat-downs and body scans criminal in New Hampshire.
    The bill (HB628-FN) “makes the touching or viewing with a technological device of a person’s breasts or genitals by a government security agent without probable cause a sexual assault,” according to the introductory text of the bill.
    “Let’s put their name on the sex offender registry, and maybe that will tell them New Hampshire means business,” said bill co-sponsor Rep. Andrew Manuse, R-Derry.

    “That is a crime in this state, and we should charge them every single time,” said bill co-sponsor Rep. George Lambert, R-Litchfield.

    And contempt for opponents of the measure was palpable.

    [A] visibly upset Concord resident . . . recounted to the Criminal Justice Committee how he recently had to cancel a visit with his mother because he did not want to submit to pat downs. The man made a point of overemphasizing the word “submit.”

    After the hearing, Rep. Laura Pantelakos (D-Portsmouth) told the man that he does not need to get on an airplane if he doesn’t want to. “That is your choice,” she said.

    “F—K you!” the man barked back, though the comment was bleeped out by WMUR.

  59. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 10:01 am #

    Aggie, I’ve edited the comment a little. I didn’t touch the second link – it’s been working perfectly for me. I added the first one, though. Are you still having problems?

  60. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    Works fine, Jazz… I think I was stupid and hit something else.

  61. Dick March 2, 2011 at 10:10 am #

    Must get ready to go do estimate.

    *grumbling*
    Fucking idiots who buy the god damned MacMansions with the forty foot tall, shittilly built chimneys.

  62. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 10:11 am #

    Ok, now the “Predictable” link takes me to UP…

  63. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 10:14 am #

    “Predictable” is fixed, Aggie.

    I don’t know what’s up. Three times this morning, the browser has substituted my copied links with links to this page. Huh.

  64. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 10:16 am #

    DAMNIT!! So is the “palpable” link!!!

    GAH!!!!!

  65. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 10:20 am #

    “Palpable” is fixt, too. Dangit. This google chrome TinyURL app kinda sux.

  66. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 10:21 am #

    Don’t grumble, Dick. Their McChimney is your McMuffin.

  67. clintbird March 2, 2011 at 10:29 am #

    It seems to me that Carin’s purple dildo should be added to this bar scene.

  68. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 10:31 am #

    It seems to me that Carin’s purple dildo should be added to this bar scene.

    Place it right in the hand of the maroon clad hoor.

  69. catman March 2, 2011 at 10:31 am #

    Number one son’s eye exam was yesterday and all is well! YAY!

    He looks like he will fully recover from this and have no vision loss..

    Man, thanks for the prayers and well wishes, we dodged one this time!

  70. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 10:38 am #

    Very good news. Catman! BB guns for everyone!

  71. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 10:41 am #

    Oh, thank the good Lord, Catman!!!

  72. clintbird March 2, 2011 at 10:52 am #

    Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said, “Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2012!”

    “Great Nancy, but how?” asked Harry.

    “We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most middle Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador Retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there.”

    So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.

    The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?”

    “Yes we are!” said Nancy , “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color.”

    They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

    A few minutes later, a grizzled old farmer came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out.

    A few moments later, in came another old farmer. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour, another dozen farmers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.

    Finally, Nancy asked, “Why did all those old farmers come in and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”

    “Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!”

  73. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 11:05 am #

    Anyone have the latest WI scoop? I want to know whether Walker laid a bunch of union-ees off.

  74. GMLand March 2, 2011 at 11:08 am #

    *looks around the bar*

    *notices the girls have some new jew’ry*

    *wonders which one of these dirty bastards is responsible*

    *wonders why I wasn’t invited to the gang bang*

  75. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 11:09 am #

    *reads comments*

    *spews*

    GML wuz here…

  76. PattyAnn March 2, 2011 at 11:41 am #

    His name is Waldo.

  77. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 11:41 am #

    “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Thanks, CB 😀

  78. Car in March 2, 2011 at 11:42 am #

    I knew it was only a matter of time before my dildo made an appearance in this whorehouse.

  79. PattyAnn March 2, 2011 at 11:43 am #

    Aggie didn’t want to leave you out, Carin.

    I’m looking for a gluten-free liquor bottle for Teresa.

  80. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX March 2, 2011 at 11:47 am #

    Dear God:

    http://www.foxnews.com/world/2011/03/02/shots-fired-bus-carrying-soldiers-germany/

    “A 21-year-old youth from Kosovo…” – no doubt another Episcopalian, right?

    Prayers for all involved.

  81. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 11:47 am #

    I’m in tears from laughing so hard. And to be fair, it was CB who suggested Carin’s toy be included 😀

  82. GMLand March 2, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    I knew it was only a matter of time before my dildo made an appearance in this whorehouse.

    – – – – –

    There must be a story there, but won’t ask… will just leave to the imagination.

  83. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    Fucking Hell, Teresa.

    This is going to be a fucking nightmare for the military.

    I pray for the families of those soldiers. And pray the murderer gets what he deserves…

  84. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX March 2, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    I’m looking for a gluten-free liquor bottle for Teresa.

    ALL spirits are GF, PattyAnn – it’s just beer that’s a problem.

    And maybe it’s just me, but the dildo just cheapens the joint.

    It’s the subtle touches that make it clever…

  85. Dick March 2, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    My customer twenty minutes ago: “That price seems to be a bit high, isn’t it?”

    Me: “So’s your chimney.”

    Customer: “Umm… Yeah, I see your point. When can you do it?”

  86. Dick March 2, 2011 at 11:52 am #

    *checks out hooker with dildo*

    I like a woman who’s not afraid of some machinery.

  87. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 11:54 am #

    Glad to hear the customer sees it your way, Dick.

  88. GMLand March 2, 2011 at 11:54 am #

    And maybe it’s just me, but the dildo just cheapens the joint.

    – – – –

    Wrong color?

  89. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX March 2, 2011 at 11:55 am #

    Maybe if you “hid” the dildo in with the feathers on the Asian chick’s hairpiece, or peeking out of the decolletage of the lady with the pearls?

    The color would blend in better…

  90. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX March 2, 2011 at 11:59 am #

    Wrong color?

    Ya gotta admit, plastic hadn’t been invented quite yet.

    Carved ivory, wood, or bone (one has to wonder, on reflection, if perhaps that isn’t where that term originated) on the other hand….

  91. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 12:00 pm #

    peeking out of the decolletage of the lady with the pearls?

    Hell, no!! That hoor represents me!! I do NOT want a “toy” sticking out of my bewbs.

    What about peeking out of the Asian’s stocking??

  92. GMLand March 2, 2011 at 12:02 pm #

    hehe, Tifw said “bone”!

  93. catman March 2, 2011 at 12:02 pm #

    Perhaps replace the “gun” with the dildo? Or put it on the piano in the “picture”.

  94. GMLand March 2, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    I was just gonna say, put it in the holster.

  95. GMLand March 2, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

    Or, up on the bar amongst the bottles…

  96. GMLand March 2, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

    *like I give a shit where a dildo goes – just keep it away from me*

  97. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX March 2, 2011 at 12:07 pm #

    Maybe the sheriff could hold it in his “other” hand – it’s just about the right position to begin with!

    I guess it’s just the “anachronism” of it that’s jarring my sensibilities –

  98. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX March 2, 2011 at 12:08 pm #

    Did the spittoon disappear?

  99. clintbird March 2, 2011 at 12:08 pm #

    The ONLY thing that could make the placement of Carin’s dildo on this page more perfect would be to animate it so it is vibrating.

  100. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 12:11 pm #

    My customer twenty minutes ago: “That price seems to be a bit high, isn’t it?”

    Me: “So’s your chimney.”

    bwhahahahahahahahah!

  101. Car in March 2, 2011 at 12:12 pm #

    The history of my dildo:

    When I first sent in my POL picture, I mused afterwards that I should have put a dildo in the bookshelves behind me. LOL. Really subtle – like. I was kicking myself that I hadn’t though of it earlier, when PA went in a fixt it for me.

  102. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 12:12 pm #

    Did the spittoon disappear?

    Look by the gent’s leg, Teresa 😉

  103. Car in March 2, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    It would be funny if it was just laying on the bar. lol …

  104. Car in March 2, 2011 at 12:14 pm #

    Carved ivory, wood, or bone (one has to wonder, on reflection, if perhaps that isn’t where that term originated) on the other hand….

    Dare I suggest, a dowel and duct tape?

  105. GMLand March 2, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    The history of my dildo:

    – – – – –

    Thanks Car, not at all the direction I was headed…

  106. PattyAnn March 2, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

    The shootings are horrific.

    “Dare I suggest, a dowel and duct tape?”
    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    Right now, I’m leaving the dildo. And it has to be that color. ‘Cause Carin’s dildo has always been a purply-pink.

    Sorry I forgot that was your quip, CB.

  107. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    Dare I suggest, a dowel and duct tape?

    Duct tape came later. I suggest rope…

  108. Car in March 2, 2011 at 12:30 pm #

    Thanks Car, not at all the direction I was headed…

    Ooops. Sorry.

    Well, you see, this one night I was all alone. So I drew a hot bubble bath …

  109. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

    Dowel and duct tape?

    “Necessity is the mother” and all that, I guess. I just can’t imagine a late-night trip to the basement and junk drawer to build a cooter rooter.

  110. clintbird March 2, 2011 at 12:36 pm #

    Dildos are nothing to be ashamed of, Carin. Just sayin’ …

  111. PattyAnn March 2, 2011 at 12:36 pm #

    “Well, you see, this one night I was all alone. So I drew a hot bubble bath …”

    Great. Now it’s gonna be real quiet here for two minutes. Good going, Carin.

  112. clintbird March 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    Two minutes, hell. Hand me a Kleenex tissue, PattyAnn.

  113. PattyAnn March 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    *hands CB a Brawny paper towel.

  114. PattyAnn March 2, 2011 at 12:40 pm #

    Quilted. Like Mike Rowe likes.

  115. GMLand March 2, 2011 at 12:41 pm #

    “Well, you see, this one night I was all alone. So I drew a hot bubble bath …”

    I nominate this particular comment for THREAD WINNER!

    *6 minutes, new personal best!*

  116. clintbird March 2, 2011 at 12:44 pm #

    Bwahahahahahahahahaha! We’re sooooooo bad.

  117. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 12:44 pm #

    *hands CB a Brawny paper towel

    An old piece of newspaper is what he deserved, PA! 😛

  118. clintbird March 2, 2011 at 12:45 pm #

    I have proudly accomplished absolutely nothing this morning. Must go eat lunch and shower/shave/get ready for the day.

    Later perverts.

  119. PattyAnn March 2, 2011 at 12:46 pm #

    Haha, Jazz!That’s about all the Dallas Morning News is good for. Not that there are any in the house.

  120. Car in March 2, 2011 at 12:47 pm #

    Dildos are nothing to be ashamed of, Carin. Just sayin’ …

    Let me just say, I would have had a CHOICE of display models iffen I had thought of putting one on the bookshelf.

    IYKWIMAITTYD

  121. Car in March 2, 2011 at 12:47 pm #

    All gifts from my husband.

  122. Jay in Ames March 2, 2011 at 12:49 pm #

    CHOICE of display models

    Cue more silent time.

  123. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 12:50 pm #

    For the sake of your chirruns, do not let them find your cache. All you need is to come home and find your dog chewing on a vibrating rubber “bone.”

  124. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 12:52 pm #

    However, as scarred as you chirruns may be at finding the stash, there are those who may enjoy pondering the ramifications of your confessions.

    /I guarantee all those people have penises. 😀

  125. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

    I leave to get lunch, and come back to this…

  126. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

    He was a FUCKING MUSLIM.

    Sounds like someone needs a BLT, some pork rinds, and then an evisceration.

  127. Dick March 2, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    Glad we don’t discuss cockrings here.

  128. Dick March 2, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

    On sale now for $69.95.

    ***NSFW**** Unless you’re me, then anything is safe.
    http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-26269226845985_2143_30914568

  129. Jay in Ames March 2, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

    Sounds like someone needs a BLT, some pork rinds, and then an evisceration.

    Staple a yamulke with a Star of David on it to their head, first.

  130. Dick March 2, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    Fuck a bunch of the la la. Put a round into the back of that piece of trash’s head and toss his fucking body in a bar ditch.

  131. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

    On sale now for $69.95.

    WHOAH – heads up, please? I’m in an open office – the repressed trollop next to me got an eyeful and is not happy.

  132. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    I should know better. Nevermind. It’s no one’s fault but my own. Sorry, Dick.

  133. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    I’ve never heard of Harris Faulkner before, but damn, she’s smokin’.

  134. Dick March 2, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

    MY bad, Jazz. I should’ve done the old NSFW, which I’ll rectify.

  135. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

    Dick, I KNOW this crowd. I should be reluctant to click on anything posted here, even “Mom’s Apple Pie” – I suspect it’d be a hole shot of some fake-tittied skank with a set of apple anal beads in her cooch.

  136. agiledog March 2, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

    I have to say, the face of the “lady” on the left is a spitting image of my MIL from 30 years ago. Don’t think I’ll show it to her, though.

    As for the original topic of the post, someone above had it right – there is little relationship between the law and justice anymore. Being a lawyer is not the honorable profession it was for a short time.

  137. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

    Greetings, AD. 🙂

  138. Jazz March 2, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

    Gotta go, folks. Later!

  139. agiledog March 2, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

    Something I said?

  140. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    Wow…Dick sure knows how to shop.

    Howdy, AD!!

  141. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 2:11 pm #

    Sorry, was off talking with Hubby, AD 🙂

  142. Dick March 2, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    S’up homeys?

  143. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    Dick, when do you start on the tall ass chimney?

  144. Dick March 2, 2011 at 2:40 pm #

    Friday. It’s a one day deal, just way the hell up.

  145. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 2:51 pm #

    Well, best be very careful, Dick.

    No telling WTF is nesting in there, too.

  146. MCPO Airdale March 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    ‘Sup, cretins??

    What a beauty of a day here and a wonderful time on the links!

  147. Herr Morgenholz March 2, 2011 at 3:25 pm #

    No telling WTF is nesting in there, too.

    We’re still talking about Carin’s dildo drawer, right?

  148. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 3:37 pm #

    We’re still talking about Carin’s dildo drawer, right?

    I wasn’t, but we can 😉

  149. MCPO Airdale March 2, 2011 at 3:39 pm #

    Carin has a whole drawer full of Democrats???!?

  150. Dick March 2, 2011 at 3:40 pm #

    I’ve heard of people filling a toilet bowl full of democrats, but never a drawer.

  151. Dick March 2, 2011 at 3:42 pm #

    This house gives me 100% woodage.
    Not a farmhouse, but a sweet wrap around porch, and sitting on the Indian River bay. The boys could chase blue crabs in the weeds.
    http://www.greatrealestate.com/ListingDetail.aspx?LID=19457073&MLSID=262&MetroAreaID=224

  152. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 3:45 pm #

    Oooh, me likey, Dick.

    Yes, punctuation is important…

  153. MCPO Airdale March 2, 2011 at 3:47 pm #

    Dick – Sweet deal! Flood zone A or flood zone B?

  154. Dick March 2, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    Chief, I have no idea, but you know the water’ll come up in a nasty storm.
    Follow hwy 26 towards the Alantic on the map. Kel’s folks are next to the ocean.

  155. MCPO Airdale March 2, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    Dick – Check with the realtor ’cause flood insurance ain’t always cheap!

  156. MCPO Airdale March 2, 2011 at 3:59 pm #

    Bethany Beach? Nice area!

  157. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    Sure is purdy.

  158. MCPO Airdale March 2, 2011 at 4:13 pm #

    Aggie – How go things in San Antone?

  159. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

    MCPO, this morning it was 40* and now it’s 75*. FREAKIN’ BOOTIFUL!!

  160. Dick March 2, 2011 at 4:21 pm #

    About the same temps here as well.

  161. Dick March 2, 2011 at 4:23 pm #

    Chief, if we end up in a house next to the bay or even a creek, I’ll definitely look at flood insurance. Hell, I really need to look at the hundred year flood plain maps for Sussex county.

  162. MCPO Airdale March 2, 2011 at 4:24 pm #

    72F and gorgeous here today. Wonder what the poor people in Cleveland are doing?

  163. MCPO Airdale March 2, 2011 at 4:25 pm #

    Dick – Most mortgage companies will require it if you are in a designated flood plain.

  164. Dick March 2, 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    According to the FEMA maps, that address is zone X, which I think means it has a 50/50 shot of flooding.

  165. LC Aggie Sith March 2, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    Making teriyaki porkchops, steamed broccoli and crash potatoes tonight.

    WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

  166. Dick March 2, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    New poat for the beautiful people!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: