Because, That’s Why!

4 Feb

Occasionally, I hear people pontificating about a world without lawyers.  While even I sympathize with that lofty goal, I can also say with a high degree of confidence that it will never happen.

People in my tribe are assholes.  I will be the first to admit that.  But the fact is that there would be no need for lawyers to be the officially designated assholes in any conflict, argument, deal, or plan if the other people involved were not amateur, and in some cases, very effective, assholes, and all it takes is one asshole who is more interested in “ME! ME! ME!” than they are in actually solving the problem, before you’re in the position where you have a bunch of official assholes all getting paid to be assholes, rather than helping the problem to be resolved.

The tragedy is that we have too many people who just don’t enjoy, but actually relish the chance to be an asshole in my profession, and once one of us is on the job, communication gets harder, not easier.  I want everyone to know that this isn’t just a frustration for the parties, who see things mushroom, and dollar signs flying when the first asshole arrives to do his or her thing.  I, and a lot of other attorneys also dislike it.  Frankly, in terms of cost benefit analysis, and getting the issues resolved quickly and inexpensively, I’m starting to think about a return to dueling as an alternative to a litigation process made immeasurably more expensive by burdensome court rules designed to make the parties resolve the matters without actually bringing them to a Judge (which if , let’s face it, was possible, they wouldn’t have come to the attornies at all).  I can’t blame this on the courts…they are being asked to do more now than ever before, but when the “civilized” conflict resolution method of litigation has become so costly, so time-consuming, and so likely to bankrupt the client before they get any resolution, that I truly feel like an ass trying to tell people not to resort to self-help remedies.

Is there an easy answer to this?  I don’t think so.  Neutral third parties deciding these matters according to a set of rules costs money.  While there are methods of Alternative Dispute Resolution such as mediation, and binding arbitration do provide forums that can be quicker, they are not necessarily the end, as appeals are still possible, and parties are willing to continue to fight.  They can also be fairly expensive in their own right.

I think the best solution is for us ALL to stop being assholes right from the start, and try to deal with each other fairly before things escalate.

28 Responses to “Because, That’s Why!”

  1. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere February 4, 2011 at 9:33 pm #

    *drops a comment*

  2. PattyAnn February 4, 2011 at 10:11 pm #

    *pity comment

    If y’all are looking for a good movie, try Inside Moves.

  3. roamingfirehydrant February 4, 2011 at 11:02 pm #

    Successful dinner party, yay me!

  4. PattyAnn February 4, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    Dinner Party? Were we invited? What was the menu?
    Details…

  5. roamingfirehydrant February 4, 2011 at 11:11 pm #

    PA, it was just one other couple and their 4-year-old son, Mr. RFH, and my two kids. I made pastistio (sp?), salad, and brownies for dessert. I tried to make it easy on myself, but I still overdid it. We have been friends for 20+ years. We’ve been trying to get together since before Christmas to exchange presents, and the weather and illness have thwarted us until tonight.

  6. PattyAnn February 4, 2011 at 11:15 pm #

    Glad you had fun, Roamy.

  7. roamingfirehydrant February 4, 2011 at 11:18 pm #

    I did have fun, but, man, my feet and ankles are swollen, and my heart’s racing. I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

  8. roamingfirehydrant February 4, 2011 at 11:26 pm #

    One of the funnier moments was when my friend was talking about running into a bad photo on Google with the search word “pantyhose”, and I was thinking, gotta find that.

  9. PattyAnn February 4, 2011 at 11:26 pm #

    *hugs
    I wish you were all healed, Roamy. At least I don’t have swollen ankles anymore. Those things hurt.

  10. roamingfirehydrant February 4, 2011 at 11:44 pm #

    I wish you were all healed, too, PA. (((hugs back)))

  11. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere February 4, 2011 at 11:54 pm #

    Friday night musicsh:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTXcRrb7drI

  12. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere February 5, 2011 at 12:00 am #

    And for PJM, just ’cause…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw5Gl28Xe5o

  13. Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere February 5, 2011 at 12:04 am #

    And for those who like to shake it to a jazzy groove:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zgmqye-f5fg&feature=related

  14. roamingfirehydrant February 5, 2011 at 12:32 am #

    One more goodbye…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0zgvwTv2JA

    and good night, y’all. (((squishy hugs)))

  15. Car in February 5, 2011 at 7:19 am #

    What happened to Dick and his cokes?

  16. LC Aggie Sith February 5, 2011 at 9:24 am #

    Wakey, wakey?

    Dick had work today, I think.

  17. LC Aggie Sith February 5, 2011 at 9:26 am #

    BW, I’ve had to deal with lawyers four times in my life, and I am grateful for the fact that the other parties involved were decent people. And they in turn were VERY grateful that I was NOT out to gouge any of them.

  18. PattyAnn February 5, 2011 at 9:38 am #

    I hope Dick didn’t go to the stadium. It’s unsafe. I don’t think he’s working today. Ice and snow cover everything and it’s 20 deg.

  19. LC Aggie Sith February 5, 2011 at 9:41 am #

    Oy, PattyAnn.

    This Super Bowl will be interesting….

  20. Car in February 5, 2011 at 9:58 am #

    Someone’s got to go after Dick.

  21. Car in February 5, 2011 at 9:59 am #

    Dick could be in trouble.

  22. Car in February 5, 2011 at 9:59 am #

    COME BACK TO US DICK. I’LL EVEN LET YOU POAT THOSE GAY PICTURES.

  23. PattyAnn February 5, 2011 at 10:06 am #

    Hahaha, Carin, am I a bad person because I read your comment and I thought of that Swiffer commercial–Baby Come Back?

  24. LC Aggie Sith February 5, 2011 at 11:23 am #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  25. roamingfirehydrant February 5, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

    I watched “Witness for the Prosecution” and thought of BiW.

    I also think we need a new poat. brb

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